forget it

Of course I am concerned about his well being! I have been there for him since day one of this situation. He isn't here now, which is why I came on...

I have seen lots of girls get support here, which is why I felt comfortable venting...

i guess i was wrong...

I cant really understand what you or your FH is going thru. But I will say I understand how you can be a bit angry with him. These are things that you kind of have to take and just hope it gets better. He may just be scared that he doesnt know how to really function normal right now. Try not to be too upset with him. Have you tried talking to him? Maybe let him know that you know he is going thru a hard time but that you 2 should have sometime that you do those 'house' things together, so things like that dont happen again.

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Posted by Dee9503

Wow! Your FH is obvously going through a terribly traumatic situation and can not focus because of it. If I were you, I would be concerned for his emotional well being and not being angry at him and venting on a message board.

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um obviously she cant vent anywhere else-so she has every right to vent on here, even if you dont agree with it

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Posted by Snickers76

FH has no idea how angry I am with him...that's the point..i haven't vented my anger at all...just here...and was shut down...

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that was only ONE person's reply- I didn't even get to see what you wrote.

I wish you hadnt pulled your original post just because of one person's response I'm sure there are a lot of ladies on here (me included) who would have given you lots of hugs and support no matter what you're going thru. Thats what we're here for!

i agree, you shouldnt have pulled your original post. go ahead and vent. thats what this site is for....relieving some of the stress that goes along with planning a wedding!

I agree with the other brides. Maybe one of us can relate and can try to help. I think you should re-post the issue.

I was just so upset and in a sensitive place and then when I saw what the very first person wrote...

anyway, a lot of you know that FH is going through a stressful situation w/ his mom. She's sick, in treatment and getting better (thank God!)

I have taken on a lot of responsibility because FH can't work 3 days a week and we still need to pay our bills, pay for the wedding etc. I am stressed out too...working, cooking, planning the wedding, taking care of my own sick Mom...(she's been sick for years w/ MS...me and siblings have a system...)

So...I've been making a lot of extra money and decided to buy a whole bunch of spring clothes online from Anthropologie.

FH threw them away. Not on purpose of course, it was an accident, but he threw them away nonetheless. I also need new clothes, because I went up an entire size since I quit smoking last spring and NONE of my old stuff fits...

Last week he left the sink running and flooded our kitchen and our downstairs neighbor's kitchen. Downstairs neighbor is a DJ and the flood wet some of his records and almost got to his turntables and stuff. Our kitchen floor is now warped in some places and when we move, we dill most likely not get our security back...which is a lot of $$...

What I did not say in my original post is that I haven't flown off the handle or gotten angry with FH at all. When I realized that he threw away all of my brand new clothes, I freaked out a little, but just told him there was nothing we could do at this point anyway.

Anyway...that's what I wanted to vent...

blah!

Of course you need to vent!!! I can totally understand why you're frustrated. of course you care about your FH's feelings...but you have feelings too!! Though we want to be supportive to our loved ones, sometimes it's hard on us to always be the supportive one...it gets exhausting and frustrating during rough times. We're all human and your feelings are totally normal! But you'll get through it! I'm sorry that happened.

You have a lot on your shoulders. I'm glad that you have a system to help out your mom. It seems like maybe FH doesn't really know how to handle his situation yet. Sorry about your added expenses with your clothes being thrown out & the flooding. If you guys can get yourselves through this very hard situation, you can be confident in knowing that you two are very strong together. I know you're pissed about everything maybe talk to him & ask him to be a little more mindful of what he's doing b/c his main thoughts are probably about his mom.

It's really difficult to be a caregiver of a sick person, as I'm sure you know, with your mom, and it's also really difficult to be the partner of a caregiver. You're also under an amazing amount of stress, because your FH is obviously so distracted.

Not that I would ever advocate lying, but since it was an accident...did you sign for the clothes from Anthropologie? Because if they somehow got stolen off your porch and you never saw them, there's insurance built in for that and you'd get them replaced. Although that would really be wrong and I would never suggest that you do it, it's just a strange idea I had.

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with all of this, and I hope both your moms will soon be doing as well as they can.

I completely know how you feel. Working, cooking, cleaning, planning a wedding and then you finally do something good for yourself like stop smoking- so you can justify the weight- get new clothes with $$ you worked hard for and they get tossed. I know deep down inside you want to put your hands around his throat and squeeze as hard as you can. Hey, it's just a feeling- not somehting we act upon. I have those feelings often. It's more frustration than anything bc there is nothing you can do to change the situation. This is life and things come at the both of you. This is what marriage is all about. And I give you tons and tons of credit for not lashing out at him. I think you need to tell him that he needs to be more focused on what he is doing. It sounds like he is scatterbrained from all the things on his mind. You know how that is. Many hugs to you and please vent on here whenever you want about whatever you want. We are all here to support you!

Oh my!!! No wonder you need to vent You're completely overwhelmed and for good reasons. Of course you cant get mad at FH, he's going through a lot, but dealing with this alone and in silence is almost impossible. I have to say, its amazing that you've been able to keep your cool even when he flooded the kitchen and threw out your clothes. Of course he didnt do those things on purpose, but if it were me....i wouldve had a long flip out moment (and I do mean LONG). Not to mention I would have caved in already. You deserve to treat yourself to a nice long bubble bath and a glass of wine. And you should be incredibly proud of yourself that you're holding it together as well as you are I bet your FH appreciates you more than you realize right now.

I wanted to add congrats on quitting smoking.