Hi Ladies, Need some advice on etiquette for my sister who is getting married on 9/6/14. She lives in CA and is having the wedding here on our father's property. This poses some logistics questions as far as the shower and bachlorette. I need to address the shower for now because she is an asst. principal and doesn't have flexibility as far as time off. Any suggestions or advice are very much appreciated! I need to present ideas to my mom and coMOH ASAP. Plus, I want her wedding experience as perfect as she made mine ;)
1) is it annoying or just plain inconvenient to plan a Christmas break bridal shower?
2) as far as gifts, I had her register. My thoughts are that people can purchase their gift, and send to her in CA. We'll skip the wishing well. Question is, how to word this in the invite
3) instead of your traditional bridal brunch or luncheon, it was suggested to me that we throw a cocktail hour with passed hors d'oeuvres and instead of the focus being on opening gifts, just celebrate the bride. I should add here that we're working with a small budget and a large guest list.
4) should we invite her in-laws? They all reside in CA.
5)this might sound stupid, but since we're thinking of throwing the shower 9 months ahead, I told her to send out STDs, thinking that this would make sense because the guests won't get an invite till next summer.
Thanks again for your input,
Lauren
flynn14
Posted:
Member since
Former LIW bride needs MOH advice
i could help with #4 all my inlaws and their family live in Canada..my sister is my MOH and she will be inviting them all and if they can come great if not it is completely understandable.
you could do a fun cute saying--about the gifts or simply state: please mail all gifts as the bride is traveling
MsA2MrsA
Posted:
Member since
Former LIW bride needs MOH advice
Can she have 2 bridal showers? One for friends/family in California and one for the people in New York?
meejack1110
Posted:
Member since
Former LIW bride needs MOH advice
When I was a MoH for my best friend a few years back she lived in NC and we had a Christmas Break Shower as well since it was the only time she would be up here. I gave everyone ample notice so guests didn't feel over whelmed around the holidays. However since your sister's wedding is in September, have you thought about doing this during the summer instead? She should have time off in the summer since school is out, and it also gives you the opportunity to do something outside which if anyone has a big backyard it can keep cost down too. If it's in the summer you could always do a combo Shower/Bacholorette party. Cocktails and Lunch for the whole group friends & family, and then the Bridal Party and Friends can go out for a Bachlorette's night out. This way you don't have to worry about your sister coming to visit twice.
cets1290
Posted:
Member since
Re: Former LIW bride needs MOH advice
1) is it annoying or just plain inconvenient to plan a Christmas break bridal shower?
the wedding isn't until September, so I feel like december is really early. Why can't you wait until the summer for the shower? School is out in the summers, and the shower should be like 2 months before the wedding.
2) as far as gifts, I had her register. My thoughts are that people can purchase their gift, and send to her in CA. We'll skip the wishing well. Question is, how to word this in the invite
You don't need to specify where to send the gift because registries ask you to give your address. If they buy a gift and decide to send it to your sister, the registries will automatically ship to the address on file.
3) instead of your traditional bridal brunch or luncheon, it was suggested to me that we throw a cocktail hour with passed hors d'oeuvres and instead of the focus being on opening gifts, just celebrate the bride. I should add here that we're working with a small budget and a large guest list.
That's a cute idea- just go to a bunch of places and price it out!
4) should we invite her in-laws? They all reside in CA.
Yes, you definitely should invite her in-laws!
5)this might sound stupid, but since we're thinking of throwing the shower 9 months ahead, I told her to send out STDs, thinking that this would make sense because the guests won't get an invite till next summer.
Still think 9 months is way too early for a shower.. lol
MsA2MrsA
Posted:
Member since
Former LIW bride needs MOH advice
There are also other breaks. Mid-winter recess or spring break which is usually in march or April.
MsErikaLynn
Posted:
Member since
Former LIW bride needs MOH advice
1) I think more than anything it's about $ around that time of year and people might be annoyed at the fact that they have to spend more $ especially if they have kids. other than that I don't think it would bother me to have something to do during xmas break, but because it is a big family week you may get a lot of no's.
2) I'm not sure how that would work :( is shipping to CA going to be very expensive? another cost to keep in mind for those you invite.
3) that could work, but why don't you maybe have something at somebodys house? that way you can cater it and have the space for free. I found with most places that the less food you want to pay for, the more they charge you for rental fee.
4) of course! just don't expect them to come.
5) that's up to her I think when you want to send STDs. I would definitley be a little confused by a bridal shower invite that didn't have a wedding invite follow within a timely matter. so STDs would be good because then I guess the people would know it's still far away?
I just wouldn't expect too many people to have the $ to get great gifts during winter break, or be able to ALL make it due to how hectic holiday time can be with families. I also think people want to see their gifts open at a shower so inviting them on a holiday break, 9 months ahead of the wedding, and asking them to ship the gift across country may be asking too much, depending on how well the guests know the bride. I would probably be a little annoyed that I was invited to something that is difficult to attend, buy for and have to do it during a crazy time of year...
would you consider having a small shower here and one in CA? that's what I would do if I lived in another state...
MrsDtoBe
Posted:
Member since
Re: Former LIW bride needs MOH advice
Posted by MsErikaLynn
1) I think more than anything it's about $ around that time of year and people might be annoyed at the fact that they have to spend more $ especially if they have kids. other than that I don't think it would bother me to have something to do during xmas break, but because it is a big family week you may get a lot of no's.
2) I'm not sure how that would work :( is shipping to CA going to be very expensive? another cost to keep in mind for those you invite.
3) that could work, but why don't you maybe have something at somebodys house? that way you can cater it and have the space for free. I found with most places that the less food you want to pay for, the more they charge you for rental fee.
4) of course! just don't expect them to come.
5) that's up to her I think when you want to send STDs. I would definitley be a little confused by a bridal shower invite that didn't have a wedding invite follow within a timely matter. so STDs would be good because then I guess the people would know it's still far away?
I just wouldn't expect too many people to have the $ to get great gifts during winter break, or be able to ALL make it due to how hectic holiday time can be with families. I also think people want to see their gifts open at a shower so inviting them on a holiday break, 9 months ahead of the wedding, and asking them to ship the gift across country may be asking too much, depending on how well the guests know the bride. I would probably be a little annoyed that I was invited to something that is difficult to attend, buy for and have to do it during a crazy time of year...
would you consider having a small shower here and one in CA? that's what I would do if I lived in another state...
I agree with all of this!!
melnmatt2013
Posted:
Member since
Former LIW bride needs MOH advice
My mom and sister threw my bridal shower for me in NY and live in Virginia. They put an insert in with the invite that had a cute saying that encouraged guests to ship presents directly to VA or to give gift cards that could easily fly back with me. As I got the gifts delivered to my apartment leading up to the shower I had my FH take my photo opening the gift and I made a photo album of all the pictures that was passed around at the shower. In the album I wrote what the gift was and who it was from. Everyone loved it! The shower was a fancy brunch, so we didn't open any gifts of play any games. Everyone spent the time eating and socializing which was so much better. We also held the shower 4 months in advance which is pretty early but it all worked out. It was the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend so some people were unable to make it due to their travel plans but we had a guest list of almost 90 people so the 68 that came was plenty!!
CoMOH3014
Posted:
Member since
Re: Former LIW bride needs MOH advice
Thank you all for your opinions and advice. I ran them past my mom and we decided to:
1) involve the groom as far as getting my sister out here for a short weekend closer to the wedding and having him talk to his mom about a shower for all of their family so they don't miss out
2) we're considering a cocktail party or luncheon and since there won't be gift opening, forgoing the shower games as well, which I think my sister would be happy about anyway
***i loved the idea about making a scrapbook of opening the shipped gifts, my sister loves scrapbooking so I think I'm going to buy her a book as soon as the invites go out!
I'm sure I'll have more questions as we go, my sister has me crazy involved in the wedding plans bc I'm here and she's out there. Thanks again!
