Brides Helping Brides ™ - Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

mrsh2b Posted: Oct 25, 2006 10:00 AM

Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

Past Sunday night brides especially, please advise me! My wedding is booked for the Sunday night of Veteran's Day next year. I thought everyone had off on Vet's day so I didn't think anything of it but now I'm finding out that isn't so (shame on the American people!!). It's scheduled to end at midnight.

Last night I'm on the phone with a friend who works at RH and she was going on and on about how Sunday night weddings are always more mellow b/c guests are only thinking about work the next day and they always cut out early. She didn't realize my wedding was on a Sunday, then when I told her, she tried to change the story but too late!

So for me to move my wedding to Saturday night at my RH is $40 more pp which is a $13K increase. I don't know the pricing for Friday night. I also don't know what the availability of my photographer and videographer are. Changing it will be a hassle probably but the thought of doing all this planning and then having people cut out early makes me want to cry! What should I do? Is Friday better than Sunday? Should I just keep it? Any input/advice is greatly appreciated.

ETA: As far as starting the wedding earlier is concerned, I would move it from 7 to 6. I can't start it any earlier than that b/c of my church time. Is it better to have it end at 11?

MaureenM618 Posted: Oct 25, 2006 10:06 AM

Re: Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

I love the idea of Sunday Twilight receptions. That way most people will be off on Sunday and it can still end early enough for people to make it home for work the next day. Fridays are tough because a lot of people work and some may work later than others and have trouble getting to the reception on time. They may not be able to go to the ceremony. Also when I get home from work I'm tired. I don't like to rush around and run somewhere else. Just my opinions.

jaws1013 Posted: Oct 25, 2006 10:07 AM

Re: Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

don't worry, I'm having a Sunday evening wedding too and I have people coming in from out of state and all over driving in for the wedding. If people want to be there they will. I sent my save the date cards out as soon as I booked the hall so everyone had enough time to plan it out if they wanted to come. And 90% of my guest list is coming this Sunday.

Don't listen to your friend about how Sunday weddings are mellow, they are as fun as you & your crowd make it. I was at a Sunday wedding last year and we had a blast and more than half the guests stayed till the end. Don't worry about it and have fun. Save that $13 K for something else.

soon2bmrsdunn Posted: Oct 25, 2006 10:09 AM

Re: Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

Honestly people will have something to say about the day, time of year etc. For 13K I would stick with Sunday. I have been to plenty of Sunday night weddings and they have been just as lively as a Saturday or Friday. It reaaly depends on the people that are there. I wouldn't worry!!!

kitty1224 Posted: Oct 25, 2006 10:11 AM

Re: Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

I wanted a sturday night wedding but none were available for the time period and no fridays either, because ceremony area was not available. Me and FH decieded to stick with Sunday because we loved our hall. I understand about people not wanting to go to work the next day so we moved up the time of the reception from 6-10, some places have it till 12pm. Our ceremony is about 4. I have been to weddings on a Sunday and they are not bad. 13k is alot of money and if you can pay it for saturday go for it, but to me its way to much money and your friends and family will be there. Maybe people won't get as trashed as a Saturday night, but they will enjoy themselves.

SN2BMRSBURTE Posted: Oct 25, 2006 10:13 AM

Re: Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

If you are worried, maybe you should ask if it would be possible to change the time to the earlier reception on Sunday. Usually the earlier ones are cheaper too. We chose to have ours at noon on Sat., but there are bad things about the early ones too....we have to get up to get ready at 4am

But, If it were me and I had already booked it, I don't think I would change it. I think there are always gonna be some people that leave early, no matter what day or time your reception is.

ewickens Posted: Oct 25, 2006 10:13 AM

Re: Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

I've been to a Sunday night wedding and stayed to nearly the end, but we had off the next day, so we could recuperate. I'm going to a daytime wedding on Sunday in a few weeks.

By having it Sunday - guests don't have to take off Friday to travel into town - they could leave Friday after work or fly/drive in Saturday - a non work day.

See if you could have a day wedding on Sunday - it may actually be cheaper and then you'd also be able to have an after party with guests at a hotel resturant afterwards to catch up with them.

AutmBride Posted: Oct 25, 2006 10:14 AM

Re: Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

I worried about this a few times during my planning process, I too am having a Sunday night reception. Yes, some people may be mellow and others may even leave early, but my truest friends and family are SO excited to party and dance and a ton of people took the next day off from work. No one wants to work on Monday anyway!
I would keep it as it. We found we could do so much more for our wedding with add-ons and such because we saved a bundle on not having it on a Saturday night. We saved moe than $50pp!
This way we were able to splurge on our other vendors and add some great things to our reception. Don't worry about it, your day will be great and anyone that is truly special to you will not mind that its a Sunday at all!
As for Friday, I've been to a few and sometimes I've been exhausted from the work week, get there dragging and don't feel much like partying. Other times I had to come late and miss the ceremony because I couldn't get out of work early enough. Every day has its pluses and minuses, you have to do what works best for you!

smara Posted: Oct 25, 2006 10:19 AM

Re: Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

Honestly, 12 is late for a sunday wedding. But im sure ppl will stay and enjoy themselves. it depends on the person--- I would totally stay for the whole thing; But someone like my DH would
B!tch and moan. Just trying to say someone is always going to have something say, but Im sure the ppl who matter most will be there. I would also use your day as an excuse to take a day off

I definately wouldnt shell out the extra money and go thru the hassle of changing days if I was you.

ETA: Can you just push it back to like 5-10/11... my cousins wedding ended at 11 and it wasnt bad at all.

sarahradio5 Posted: Oct 25, 2006 10:24 AM

Re: Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

We're spending a little bit more $$ to have a Sunday Sunset Wedding - the SAME day as you THIS year. And Veterans Day ISN'T observed on the Monday this year... it will be on the Friday! So NO ONE is off this year on Monday unless they TAKE off!!

Out of 197 guests invited, we have 135 coming, to give you an idea (but a lot of those are my crumby work people, who I don't like. lol). So, the response ratio isn't great, but I don't think mine had anything to do with work the next day.

We even extended our cocktail hour by a half hour, so it's an hour and a half cocktail hour and four hour reception.

4:30 -6 cocktail hour
6-10 reception

libby2595 Posted: Oct 25, 2006 10:26 AM

Re: Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

mine was a SATURDAY wedding, and it was over by 10:30.

we started the whole thing a bit early for a saturday for fear of losing sunlight and it getting cold (semi-outdoor wedding).

i say, go a little earlier.

hth.

keep us posted

OrangeGrl Posted: Oct 25, 2006 10:30 AM

Re: Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

I am getting married the week before you and I am saving money because I am having it on Saturday MORNING! 1-2 is my CH and 2-6 is my reception...it will be dark when they leave and I ge tto take sunset pictures! I saved a ton of money that way and we might even get a hotel suite and party afterwards too!!

stealthgroom Posted: Oct 25, 2006 10:34 AM

Re: Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

We're trying to balance those issues too, that's why we went with labor day sunday (also, because we're a Jewish couple, we can't do a wedding until the sabbath is over, so we're almost obligated to do sunday).

How much would it be to make it an afternoon affair? 13K is a lot of money for so many things. We're trying to do ours 3-9, as we and most of our friends live in the city, we figure some people might want to catch the LIRR back from Smithtown and not stay in the hotel. 9 is a good time for the people who are travelling and working, but also a reasonable time to allow for turnaround for an afterparty.

mrsh2b Posted: Oct 25, 2006 10:45 AM

Re: Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

Posted by stealthgroom

We're trying to balance those issues too, that's why we went with labor day sunday (also, because we're a Jewish couple, we can't do a wedding until the sabbath is over, so we're almost obligated to do sunday).

How much would it be to make it an afternoon affair? 13K is a lot of money for so many things. We're trying to do ours 3-9, as we and most of our friends live in the city, we figure some people might want to catch the LIRR back from Smithtown and not stay in the hotel. 9 is a good time for the people who are travelling and working, but also a reasonable time to allow for turnaround for an afterparty.

I have to sit down and figure this out. My church is at 3:30-4:30ish. That can't be done any earlier b/c of christenings. I really don't want to see FH before the church so I would have to do pics afterwards. How long do pics take in between the ceremony and CH? FH wants to go to CH. It's going to be dark out after church so we are just going to the RH to take pics. Church is in St. James and the RH is in Syosset so to have CH at 5 is too close. Is 6 okay? Will that give us enough time for pics and be able to go to the CH? Thanks everyone for your opinions!

CASJLL Posted: Oct 25, 2006 10:56 AM

Re: Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

It depends on your guests. I have definitely been to Sunday weddings that were no different than Saturday weddings. It is not worth $13k to move it and all the hassle. If people really want to be at your wedding, they will. And if they want to be there, they'll want to enjoy themselves. The only perk might be you wont' have people to blind drunk to walk. (a good thing!)

superkat Posted: Oct 25, 2006 11:18 AM

Re: Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

I had a Sunday evening wedding and hardly anyone left early! We had one couple who left early because their son who was with a babysitter got sick. Other than that, everyone stayed all night! Also, my cousin got married a few weeks ago at Glen Island Harbour Club. His wedding was on a Sunday and we were there until midnight! So don't worry about it. This is your wedding and the extra cost isn't worth it! If your friends and family love you and are happy for you, they won't mind losing a little sleep.

By the way, my guests danced and partied all night long! We were actually considering extending the party because everyone was having such a great time.

DandS Posted: Oct 25, 2006 11:36 AM

Re: Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

I would keep the Sunday night and maybe just move it to end at 11pm. I work at a catering hall as well and I have to say I don't really agree with what you friend told you. I have seen people party hard and people mellow on all 3 days (Friday, Saturday, and Sunday). It really depends on your crowd, not the day. I have seen parties end at 2am on a Sunday and people have stayed parting until the very end. I mean don't get me wrong, people start leaving after 12mid, but I don't think you will have a lot of people leave your reception before 11pm. I think you are going to have a great turn out and you will be very pleasantly surprised with how many people will be with you until the very end of the night.

JessMxPx88 Posted: Oct 25, 2006 12:12 PM

Re: Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

My wedding is on a Sunday night also because it was $40 a person cheaper also. That's a lot of money. Normally the cocktail hour starts at 7 and the reception ends at 12 but I had them start it at 6 and end the reception at 11. That's what i think you should do.

EGreene79 Posted: Oct 25, 2006 12:23 PM

Re: Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

I went to a Sunday wedding recently, and people were up until 3-4 in the morning - although they all either had Monday off or took it off (Columbus Day weekend). If I had to choose, I'd rather go to a Friday night wedding, so I don't have to worry about work the next day or take a day off, but if it's a close friend I'd always take the Monday so I can stay as late as I want and party down!

It depends on your friends and family. I would expect a decent amount of people to leave a little earlier - not everyone is going to want or be able to take Monday off, but you don't need a huge crowd to have a good time. I'm sure with close family and a few friends you'll still have a blast.

moonlitee Posted: Oct 25, 2006 12:26 PM

Re: Freaking out...Please help me! (little long w/ poll)

My wedding was on the Sunday of Columbus day weekend and alot of ppl didn't have the next day off...some of them took the next day off and some of them didn't...but everyone partied hard and there was alot of drinking and partying going on....My reception ended at 10:30pm and ppl and from what i heard ppl still went back to the hotel and stayed out after that. Only one couple left early and that was b/c they had a 6 month old at home.