Friends (long)

Maybe it's me - I'm not too sure... I'll be married in 78 days - 10 weeks. We're having a house built and it should be done next week. My father is extremely sick and could possibly go into the hospital for good soon. I have been SO busy with last minute things these last few weeks and worrying about my family that I admit - I'm so overwhelmed and have hardly any free time. And when I do, I really want to either sleep or go to the gym. BUT, alas... my problem. My friends just aren't getting it. They're mad that I have no time anymore and that sometimes when we make plans - something comes up for me and I either can't make it or am late. I know that suxs but, I've tried to explain to the to PLEASE be understanding for the next few weeks and they (one specifically) get so mad at me. The one that gets mad mostly is a BM - she was supposed to get married on 5/31 but called it off (herself) in Jan and I think she's a little resentful that I'm at this stage and she never got there. I can respect that, but I really can't take her being mad at me every day. BM dresses came in in April and she hasn't even picked hers up yet. Any advise on what to say to her? I kinda lost it a little this morning and sent her an email - but, I really don't want it to spin out of control...... Any words of wisdom???

First off, I am sorry to hear about your stress with your father and I hope that turns out well for you.

I hope since she is your BM, you are close to her and can talk to her about what is going on. Explain to her that she is very important in your life, and you have a lot of things going on, many that you can't control, when your schedule sporatically needs changes, but you need her for friendship. Be open to listen to her too, possibly she is upset that she is not in your shoes, but maybe it's something else... Money, how the dress will look on, etc??? Definetly talk to her, so you know each other's side. But try not to email her, that can be interpreted way wronge.

I'm sorry you are going through so much with your dad. I hope things work out ok.

As for your friend, she apparantly has tons of resentment towards you. I agree with Jenny that e-mail is the wrong way to express your feelings. As for what to say, I am not the best person for words of wisdom. Just wanted to send you some hugs

Hope everything works out!

Wow!! Thats ****s bad!!!First off, I am sorry about your father! I am jealous about yoru new house and excited for you with your wedding so close. You have every right to be upset with your friend..a good friend wouldnt be getting mad at you right now, she would see that you are going through an awful lot and that you are overwhelmed. You have THREE very big things going on right now, your father which cant be easy, your new home which is a huge deal, and your wedding..3 life altering things happening to you..it sounds like yoru friend definately is a bit resentful about the wedding thing. I have had a few problems with girlfriends along the way, Ive lost a few friends even....my best advice for you is to sit her down and talk to her..thats all you can do..do it and know that youve done your best..the rest is up to her. I know you said that you emailed her..I sometimes think that can make things worse because you cant tell the tone in one;s voice through an email, and things can get way out of hand. You guys are good enough friends that you asked her to be a BM..and she cares enough for you that she is getting jealous that you dont have much time these day..I hope it all works out.it doesnt sound like she is being very understanding. My point is like I said earlier..you have alot going on. Even if nothing else was going on and your father was sick, that alone could be very hard to deal with..but now you throw buying a house and getting married into the mix..you have ALOT going on, alot of stress I would imagine...she for whatever reason doesnt understand that..so again, I would sit her down, tell her everything that you are feeling and the rest is up to her..its her choice how she deals with it..if she contiunes to be not so nice..find a new BM or just have one less in your wedding.The point of being in a bridal party is to stand with you while getting married..you wnat your truest friends up there with you....I hope it works out for you!

Thanks for all the love guys It relieves me to know I'm not out in left field here thinking she's not acting like a true friend. As for the email, I know that was wrong, but when I do talk to her, she rolls her eyes and says whatever and it makes me so MAD! So, I wrote her. I really think it's resentment and I'm willing to ignore that, but it really upsets me to have her mad all the time.

I'm sorry to hear of your Dad

Friends are funny that way. i have some too. Just focus on your day and enjoy what the true meaning is. After you are in your NEW home and have a BEAUTIFUL wedding you can look back at life and put things in perspective.

SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR DAD...

I am sorry about your dad and good luck on yourh ouse!!! Unofurtunately some friends do not take everything into consideration before they get angry. I agree withthe girls that you should not confront by e-mail because things are usually taken wrong but you do need to explain your feelings to her! Good Luck and Best Wishes.

sorry to hear about this....and congrats on the house that is awesome.

what I have learned recently is that a true friend listens and understands. May get annoyed with you but when it really comes down to it, she or he is there for you. Have a heart to heart with her. If she doesn't want to be a BM tell her not to waste your time bc you have bigger fish to fry.