Friends not in the bridal party?

Hi, I am having 5 bridesmaid 3 are friends and 2 are family. I told a close friend (at the time) that I wasn't going to ask her because she was never nice to my fiance. We're no longer friends because I have insulted her. This caused a lot of drama amongst my friends. For those that I did not ask I wanted to do something special for them. Someone suggested handing out roses to each friend at the ceremony with a personalized note... but I'm not sure that I like this idea.... any thoughts?

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Posted by StaceYums81

they aren't in the bridal party. Theres obviously those you feel more strongly about. They need to move on life is gonna be okay. I wouldn't do the the rose thing for them at the ceremony. This is just me - I welcome other opinions...

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ITA. Not everyone's gonna be in the bridal party and if they are sensible, good friends they will understand.

I agree with everyone else. IMO...I don't think I would take the time out of MY ceremony to honor people that were upset that they weren't in my bridal party by giving them roses....I'm doing that for the moms. If you really want to include them to not have 'issues' maybe you could have them hand out programs or bubbles or something just to stop the drama.....

I know you mean well, but it sounds like much more trouble than its worth. They arent in the bridal party- they'll get over that. They should feel honored just to be invited to your wedding.

There's a chance you may lose friends in the wedding process. I already have friends asking if they are invited (and I'm not sure if they are). And a friend who's upset she didn't get invited to my eparty. It's hard, but it happens.

I have 4 close friends that aren't in the BP. 1 is getting married next week, and since we both were expecting to get engaged around the same time (she ended up getting engaged 6 months before me), we agreed not to put each other in BP for time and finance reasons. Two are out of state, and the other one is a friend that I met through FH but have only known her for about 3 years now....whereas my BP I've known all for over 10.

Unfortunately, people will be pissed. But for those that understand, maybe you could make them a reader?

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Posted by Lsorrent

Unfortunately, people will be pissed. But for those that understand, maybe you could make them a reader?

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I think making them a reader is a good idea

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Posted by TheFutureMrsPM

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Posted by Lsorrent

Unfortunately, people will be pissed. But for those that understand, maybe you could make them a reader?

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I think making them a reader is a good idea

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i agree, if you feel you want to acknowledge them this could probably be the best way- if you use a program their names would also be in there (possibly a special thankyou message)

I was not in one of my good friends bridal parties. Am I upset? yes. Did I say a single word to her about it? OF COURSE NOT!!!! Your friends are not being friends about this if they can't be understanding that planning a wedding is stressful.

THAT SAID, if you take them aside at some point after the ceremony into the bridal suite (hope you have one) and do a little thing there of 'I love you and I want you to know how much you mean to me today' and express that however you want, ceremony or no ceremony, gift or no gift, card or no card (I think you get my point), then they should love it.

That is what my friend did for me. She included me as much as she could and let me know that even tho I was not in her BP that I was an important person in her life. That's all you need to do. They are just feeling insecure so make sure to include them in things while you are planning even if it makes you feel a little awkward because ultimately it means that you value their opinion and they are important to you.

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Posted by SummerBride10

I know you mean well, but it sounds like much more trouble than its worth. They arent in the bridal party- they'll get over that. They should feel honored just to be invited to your wedding.

There's a chance you may lose friends in the wedding process. I already have friends asking if they are invited (and I'm not sure if they are). And a friend who's upset she didn't get invited to my eparty. It's hard, but it happens.

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What you can also do in these situations if your FH doesnt really care either way about the person (see above quote from my FW) just blame it on him.... I dont particularly like a couple of Colleen's friends as they act like they are still in HS and I think would treat the wedding as a HS keg party built in with whatever drama they could bring up... So from the beginning I just told her to blame me, because since I don't particularly care whether or not these people like me, it might make it easier for her....

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Posted by LIbride080808

I was not in one of my good friends bridal parties. Am I upset? yes. Did I say a single word to her about it? OF COURSE NOT!!!! Your friends are not being friends about this if they can't be understanding that planning a wedding is stressful.

THAT SAID, if you take them aside at some point after the ceremony into the bridal suite (hope you have one) and do a little thing there of 'I love you and I want you to know how much you mean to me today' and express that however you want, ceremony or no ceremony, gift or no gift, card or no card (I think you get my point), then they should love it.

That is what my friend did for me. She included me as much as she could and let me know that even tho I was not in her BP that I was an important person in her life. That's all you need to do. They are just feeling insecure so make sure to include them in things while you are planning even if it makes you feel a little awkward because ultimately it means that you value their opinion and they are important to you.

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ITA -- bring to dress fittings, ask for their opinion, treat them like the good friends they are and they will be OK. Thats what I plan on doing for 3 people i couldn't ask (b/c my BP would be too big). They know how much I love them and I am including them and involving them the whole way through.