Friends with people of the opposite sex....

Kim921 Posted: Jul 23, 2003 03:48 PM

Friends with people of the opposite sex....

Do you have a problem with your FH/DH being friends with women? Or vise versa? Does he have a problem with you being friends with other men?

I have a lot of guy friends, always have. Doesn't bother FH one bit. He is now friends with them all too!!!

But, if you made friends with a new guy, and it was completely innocent, would you question telling FH/DH?

phyl Posted: Jul 23, 2003 03:49 PM

Re: Friends with people of the opposite sex....

no, not mind at all. hubby is mature and so am i..so the jealousy thing doesnt play at our home

nrvbrd Posted: Jul 23, 2003 03:52 PM

Re: Friends with people of the opposite sex....

My best friend is a guy- Fh has no problems with it.

Fh has female friends, there were some I had problems with in the past that were up to no good- but I let him know about it.

As long as people maintain boundaries I do not have a problem.

KarenK122 Posted: Jul 23, 2003 03:53 PM

Re: Friends with people of the opposite sex....

My best friend is a guy. We actually lived together (platonically) when I met my husband. They have since become friends also.

prncssrachel Posted: Jul 23, 2003 03:55 PM

Re: Friends with people of the opposite sex....

Most of my friends are men, and JT has become friends with them as well. I have made new male friends since I've been engaged to JT and I always think to myself, 'Oh! Jt will really like this guy!' It's just something that comes to mind when I meet a new guy. And JT also has many friends who are women. He's made friends with two girls that he works with that recently got engaged and they both invited us to their engagement parties, which I thought was nice. So as long as neither of us are hiding to the other person anything, no biggie.

joeslauren Posted: Jul 23, 2003 03:56 PM

Re: Friends with people of the opposite sex....

I know this is bad but I have lots of guy friends still and dh doesn't have any girl friends... just because he never got close to any. I lived with my brother and two guys so you can imagine how many guys were over at all times! And this is when dh and I first started dating. He doesn't mind at all and gets along with all of them, but if he suddenly became friends with a girl that I never heard about, I don't know how I would feel. I'm sure it would be fine, but prob something I would have to get used to!

aliciahelene Posted: Jul 23, 2003 03:58 PM

Re: Friends with people of the opposite sex....

I dont know why really, but fi doesnt have any close girlfriends..I have two really close guy friends..but Fi doesnt care..we all have fun together so its great!

Scoop Posted: Jul 23, 2003 04:00 PM

Re: Friends with people of the opposite sex....

One of my husband's best friends is a girl...he was even the best man in her wedding and baptized her first child. They talk all the time and I don't have a problem with it. Three of my close friends are guys..who I grew up with from childhood. My husband gets along great with them and now they call him directly to hang out. I'm the forgotten one.

As for forming new friendships....I'm not sure how I would feel...probably wouldn't from my end nor would I want him to.

Kim921 Posted: Jul 23, 2003 04:09 PM

Re: Friends with people of the opposite sex....

Well I kind of have this situation where there is this 'friend' of mine who I have known for awhile, but just as an acquantance. Now he is calling me and trying to form this friendship, asking me to go to dinner and stuff, and it's a little strange. I don't know what to tell Mike and if he would get mad.

Wendy Posted: Jul 23, 2003 04:10 PM

Re: Friends with people of the opposite sex....

I have male friends and DH has female friends. Neither of us has a problem with this. I have gone to baseball games with a guy friend, DH goes to camera shows with a female friend. We are comfortable enough with each other and our relationship, not to mention our friends to not worry about it.

prncssrachel Posted: Jul 23, 2003 04:12 PM

Re: Friends with people of the opposite sex....

Kim, if this guy is calling you just to be friends and hang out, I don't think you should worry, but if he is trying to 'pursue' you, it's not even an issue of what to tell FH, it's more like you not wanting to lead this guy on and having consideration for his feelings. That's all. Go with the gut!

Kim921 Posted: Jul 23, 2003 04:16 PM

Re: Friends with people of the opposite sex....

Rachel- Thats what I try to do. He keeps asking me when we are going to hang out and I say I don't know. I tell him I am engaged and his response is, 'i'm not going to jump you, i just wanna hang out.' I just get this weird vibe from him, I can't explain it. I try avoiding him and not calling him back but he continues to call. I don't want to tell Mike because he will ask why I didn't tell him sooner but it wasn't an issue before.

Wendy Posted: Jul 23, 2003 04:18 PM

Re: Friends with people of the opposite sex....

Kim it seems that you are uncomfortable with the direction that this 'friend' wants to go in. If that is the case then you should put the brakes on now. The question to ask is would your FI be welcome to come to dinner and the other 'stuff' too? If not then it's clear that this friend wants more than he is letting on. If he has no problem with your FI coming too then bring him along. Let the guys get to know each so that if you ever do want to do stuff alone with this friend your FI won't have a problem with you going.

prncssrachel Posted: Jul 23, 2003 04:20 PM

Re: Friends with people of the opposite sex....

Well, there's your answer about what to tell Mike, It wasn't an issue before. But as for this guy, if you're getting that weird vibe, I would go with that. It's probably right. And if you want to hang out with him, suggest a double date and go with Mike. If he's a cool guy, then both of you make a new friend.

Kim921 Posted: Jul 23, 2003 04:21 PM

Re: Friends with people of the opposite sex....

Wendy, you are a genius! I didn't even think of that. Ok, I am going to talk to Mike tonight.

Thanks girls!!! xoxo

LisaT Posted: Jul 23, 2003 04:25 PM

Re: Friends with people of the opposite sex....

I have no problem with Al having women friends, and I have guy friends. Having a relationship (or a marriage) doesn't mean I'm going to ditch my friends - and it doesn't mean I'm going to start sleeping with them!

Al and I are secure in our relationship. We don't worry who the other is friends with. Most of the time we're all hanging out together!

Sage10.03 Posted: Jul 23, 2003 04:26 PM

Re: Friends with people of the opposite sex....

I would never question telling FH about anything....he is my best friend and the person I turn to for everything.
He understands that I have guy friends as I do that he has girlfriends....

We never get jealous...ever!! It's one of the reasons why we can stay so honest with each other!

aliasPook Posted: Jul 23, 2003 05:03 PM

Re: Friends with people of the opposite sex....

My best friend is a guy, and if it weren't for him, I would never have met Brian.

We have no probllems with each other having friends of teh opposite EXCEPT my ex, who for years trying to interfere. When I hear from him, I tell Brian and he is fine with it.

And there is one girl who he is forbidden to speak to. In 2001, I found recent letters in an email from her to him stating how much she loved him and cared about him and what if they were to ever give it another chance....HELLO B*TCH! It's been about 6 years since you GOT MARRIED and you two stopped seeing each other, YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER! GET OVER HIM!!!!

Otehr tahn that, we still have friendships with others girls and guys. I am secure enough to know that he loves me and he feels the same...