From Classified Newspaper Ads:

GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown - 89 cents lb.

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog

FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog

GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat ... been out awhile...better be reward.

COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... Also 1 gay bull for sale

NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby

NICE PARACHUTE: Never opened - used once

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300

GROUND BEAST $.89 lb


(AND THE BEST ONE)


FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.
45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married - wife knows everything

ROFLMAO.

this is awesome, I tuly enjoyed them, my mom and I are here dying laughing. I read them to her. Where did you find them, reminds me of something from J Leno thanks for the laughs

A FEW OTHERS


'Here's Niveen's new lunch specials for $5.95. I don't know about that first one… I'm not sure I'd really like to try the meat load sandwich.'


'Here's a helluva deal… Just think, you get ten bonus stars!'


''The Bloomfield class of 1994 is planning their 10-year class reunion. Organizers are trying to lactate all members of the class.' It really sounds like it is going to be a hell of a party!'




'How dangerous is this? Look at this laundromat? 'Wash Tub Laundromat -- Wash all your laundry in 4 minutes.' Yeah, and you can babysit the kids in there while you wait.'


''Dental Makeovers -- right here in Cleveland!' Look at the old teeth and look at the new teeth! What a difference! The new teeth must lift your face somehow and dye your hair blonde.'

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Posted by shamma

this is awesome, I tuly enjoyed them, my mom and I are here dying laughing. I read them to her. Where did you find them, reminds me of something from J Leno thanks for the laughs

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I like when Jay Leno does that too...someone emailed them to me

TO VIEW OTHER HEADLINES

JAY LENO HEADLINES

I love those!!! Too funny!!!