Frustrated/Angry with the church situation (kina long)

Im so frustrated! I am Ukrainian Catholic...FH and I can get married in the church because I am under the same Pope as him. I find out that I am not allowed to have musical instruments in the church of ANY KIND (including recordings). I am told that I have to have all of the music sung. Ok, fine...I hire a singer but then I wonder, what does she sing?? So on Friday I called the priest (he's recently been replaced in the church following my priest of 26 years). He tells me that I have to talk to the Cantor (man who sings all the songs) regarding the services. He literally LAUGHS me off while Im on the phone and obviously could give a rats a$$ that I have so many questions regarding my service. So I was away for the weekend and my mom went to church this morning to talk to the Cantor. He tells my mom that NOT ONLY is there no music BUT my BM's and groomsmen DO NOT walk down the isle....they walk in through a side door. THEN, he tells my mom that MY DAD is not allowed to walk me down the isle!!!! The priest ( who I dont really care for) is supposed to walk me down the isle and my dad is to walk behind me. I am totally blown away! I can't believe that I have asked SO many questions about my wedding and nobody would take the time to sit with FH and I to talk about what will occur during the mass. FH and I had a long talk about it, and we have decided to look for another church. I believe we are going to seek out his church first, and if the date is booked then we will have to go on the hunt for a church.

It just blows my mind! I know that a traditional Ukrainian mass is totally different from a Roman Catholic mass, but I feel like they have to be flexible with SOME things. We do not live in Europe or the Ukraine! I would never take the moment of my dad walking me down the isle away from him. He's been talking about it since FH and I got engaged. And I feel like the mass they insist I have is nothing like FH and I want. I just can't believe that this is happening with just 4 months to go.

Also- The priest was telling me on Friday that I might not even have permission to get married in the church. The Bishop needs to give permission for anyone to marry in a Ukrainian church. That is sort of a loooong story, but that, AGAIN ,blew my mind. 4 months to go people!!!!

Sorry for the vent

Let us know how it goes!!! I'm getting married at a RCC who are being very reasonable with our wants/needs!!!

thats terrible but i guess that is what that church does, i would try to look into other churches also but keep your original just in case good luck

Good thing you found out now. I'm sure there are options out there for you. But don't cancel your church until you have somewhere else booked!

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Posted by ewickens

Let us know how it goes!!! I'm getting married at a RCC who are being very reasonable with our wants/needs!!!

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I'm so sorry to hear this - our church was not Ukranian, but RC and they were great. When we first scheduled our day, the pastor was awful - very restrictive, but since then a new pastor came in who has been truly reasonable and wonderful - I highly recommend them if your church doesn't work out - he let us do so much (including readings in Polish, and having a string trio, etc. etc. - we changed quite a bit). FM me if you want the info, and good luck! I hope your FH's church works out.

I hope your FH's church is available! I would never give up my dad walking me down the aisle. I don't think you are being unreasonable at all!