FSIL and FMIL can we trade?

Hi All
Okay 11 days to go.....my fmil has been a disaster this whole planning process from spoiling the shower surprise to telling my fh that his uncle said sh$! about him because he did not invite his 18 month old twins (not true) to not buying a dress for herself until yesterday, not booking the RD until last month.....the list continues
does nt this show your son that you are not interested in his wedding?
anyway, here is the latest and I need advice. my fsil calls she is a teenager and says that she doesnt think she is going to get her hair or makeup done. I dont care if people od not want to get their makeup done but I really want her to get her hair done as she has thin pin straight hair that I am afraid will just look like she is going to school not to her brother's wedding (oh she is in the BP by the way)
My fmil does not talk to me. (she has never talked to me in 5 years) so I can't call her or anything. any advice for making my fsil get her hair done? It is probably ultimately my fmil decision.
oh and to make matters worse my fsil told my fh that she is getting her nails done before she comes to ny and is not hanging out for the bridal luncheon as she is gong to go shopping with her mom and a friend on canal street

oh weddings.

ETA: thanks for letting me vent

Is it the cost that is a problem? Because maybe you can offer to split it with her because she is a teenager. I would call her and tell her it would be important to you if she came to the luncheon. Try not to worry too much about the details and remember that it is your day and don't let anyone ruin it for you.

thank you. you see, according to my fils 'money is no object' but I know it is. If this is their decision not to have her hair done, i am going to offer in which case my ffil would be kinda guilted in to allowing my fsil to get her hair done as it would insult him if i paid for his daughter when 'money is no object'

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Posted by vhollo01

what does the ol' FH say. My FMIL is a mental patient, and has in one short month caused a great rift between me and my FH and between me and them. My FH is giving me the 'it's still my mother' routine'

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Have you and you FH talked about it. You don't want all this tension while planning the wedding.

well if it is a $$$ then i don't think there is much you can do about it unless you offer to pay since you cannot speak to her mom...
tough situation

if she is a teenager i can see what you mean about not looking like she is going to her brothers wedding

maybe you can pay for her hair to get done... i don't know how she does her make up but if she looks fine how she does it maybe she doesnt need to get it done????

I am going to offer to pay to get her hair done and most of my BM are doing their own makeup which is fine with me.
my fh agrees with me. we have been solid through all of this. I just needed to vent!
thanks for all your advice
oh and I am 25 and she is 16 so it is not a huge difference and my bm make her feel welcome.

Just a little suggestion, why don't you include paying for her hair and makeup to get done as part of her bridal party gift. You can pass it off since she is your sister-in-law and the other girls in your BM shouldn't be upset over that.

This way, instead of your in-laws taking it as charity that they don't want- they will view it as a gift from you and your FH.