FSIL is on my last nerve (semi-long rant)

backstory: i am a very quiet person for the most part. i dont get loud for the sake of being loud and even when i do it's because im 150% comfy with the person or persons around me.

when i first started dating FH we went to a party with FSIL in the back seat. She is the youngest of 3 with 3 older brothers: 3 years and 5 years. She is very loud, brasen and more masculine then her brothers. lol. We got a little lost after leaving the party with FH driving. In the backseat FSIL is screaming, yelling and doesn't shut up so FH can't think. I was getting pissed b/c I didnt want to get into an accident or something b/c the driver was distracted. So I yell '______ shut the F up'. Everyone shuts up. FH finds the right way and we head home. Now, b/c its SO not like me it literally made me sick and I started to cramp up and cry. She was sleeping at this point so she didnt know. We got back to FMIL's house and FSIL stomps into the house and proceeds to tell her mom, other brother and the brother's g/f at the time what a 'witch' I am and that I screamed at her. She continues to dislike me for YEARS.

I finally thought we were over that and tonight it starts again. We were all playing a game up here in Vermont and she proceeds to do the 'high school whisper in someone's ear which looking at the person she's talking about' junk. I was the person she was looking it.

She's in my bridal party and I'm laying here on literally 6 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours and I'm just upset and pissed.

Hmm. I think you should approach FSIL calmly (with FH's buy-in) and make a truce, for the sake of FH if nothing else. I'm not sure if there have been other incidents between you two, but it does seem strange to hold a grudge for that long. That said, you yelled profanity at her in front of her family, when you guys didn't know each other well. Have you apologized to her for that?

---

Posted by BoxOfRocks

Hmm. I think you should approach FSIL calmly (with FH's buy-in) and make a truce, for the sake of FH if nothing else. I'm not sure if there have been other incidents between you two, but it does seem strange to hold a grudge for that long. That said, you yelled profanity at her in front of her family, when you guys didn't know each other well. Have you apologized to her for that?

---

FSIL is the baby and only girl of the family so she has a serious brat complex. I apologized right after I said it b/c I felt bad for using poor language. And her cousin who was in the car, FH and FFIL (after hearing the story) all said I was completely justified. It doesn't matter who it is, you don't yell and scream in the backseat, cursing and degrading someone while they are driving a car, which is EXACTLY what she was doing.

She is beyond childish and I've done nothing but try and form a relationship with her, but to no avail.

FH said its honestly not worth discussing b/c she will just throw a temper tantrum. I just think I have to grin and bear it b/c there is no getting thru to her.

---

Posted by loy0405

my FSIL is just the same way and is the same story is the younger and only girl w/ 2 older brother that spend their time spoiling the little brat... When we got engaged the girl make a drama for the way WE were planning our wedding and call me a a minipulative (or however you spell that) She hurt my feeling so bad but I learn that is the way she is and FSIL (FBIL wife) told me that she act the same way with her... What I am trrying to say is that this girl is only jealous that she is loosing the attention from his brother so dont pay attention and just avoid having to deal with her (that is what I do). GL

---

that is exactly what FH said. everytime the wedding comes up and i say something we are doing or FH saids something she has a negative comment. im so happy im not the only one!!!

---

Posted by BklynBride2Be

---

Posted by BoxOfRocks

Hmm. I think you should approach FSIL calmly (with FH's buy-in) and make a truce, for the sake of FH if nothing else. I'm not sure if there have been other incidents between you two, but it does seem strange to hold a grudge for that long. That said, you yelled profanity at her in front of her family, when you guys didn't know each other well. Have you apologized to her for that?

---

FSIL is the baby and only girl of the family so she has a serious brat complex. I apologized right after I said it b/c I felt bad for using poor language. And her cousin who was in the car, FH and FFIL (after hearing the story) all said I was completely justified. It doesn't matter who it is, you don't yell and scream in the backseat, cursing and degrading someone while they are driving a car, which is EXACTLY what she was doing.

She is beyond childish and I've done nothing but try and form a relationship with her, but to no avail.

FH said its honestly not worth discussing b/c she will just throw a temper tantrum. I just think I have to grin and bear it b/c there is no getting thru to her.

---

Thanks for your message. Based on this, your other messages in this thread, yes, it sounds unlike unfortunately the only thing you can do without stooping to her level is to just be civil. Maybe she'll mature as the years go by. Good luck.

---

Posted by BklynBride2Be

ive decided after more garbage she pulled today i wash my hands of her.

---

That's really all you can do at this point. She needs to grow up so keep your contact with her limited. If she continues to do the stupid things like 'whisper in someone's ear' let FH know about it so when he sees it he can call her out on it in front of everyone. She is trying to get under your skin. Don't worry about her anymore.

---

Posted by Mici n KC

---

Posted by BklynBride2Be

ive decided after more garbage she pulled today i wash my hands of her.

---

That's really all you can do at this point. She needs to grow up so keep your contact with her limited. If she continues to do the stupid things like 'whisper in someone's ear' let FH know about it so when he sees it he can call her out on it in front of everyone. She is trying to get under your skin. Don't worry about her anymore.

---

couldnt have said it better myself... tell FH about everything, (im sure he already knows) and let him call her out next time, and see how she feels... other than that, besides talking straight forward with her ( which doesnt seem like an easy option) just let the cards play as they lay and dont stress anymore... your the !!!