hey girls, not exactly sure what to do in this situation. FSIL launched an attack on me this morning via email. I mean basically said the whole family feels abandoned by FH cause since he met me he has no time for them. She question us getting married - said it was too quick (um she has NEVER been married), then basically just tore me apart for everything. I responded relatively quickly and rather sharp tongued, but I don't feel better. I feel worse, I totally stooped to her level.
FH basically said - F her - don't invite her (its his sister), he was like she is always drama.
I've never met either of his sisters, as they live in Ireland....
I don't know what to do next, ignore it. Or appease her? Or keep fighting back?
Any help would be greatly appreciated - TIA
So she wrote me back and basically long story short - she somewhat backed down. To be honest at this point - I'll probably have to deal with her once every 5 years. I think I'm over it. Thanks again girls!!!!!
Im a Pepper
Posted:
Member since
Re: FSIL
Aww I'm so sorry to hear you're having issues with FH's sister! At this time, I think it's important to forge some mutual respect with FH's family - even if you don't love each other, you will be (to a certain extent) in each other's lives. I don't think arguing is the best approach but hopefully you can tell them what you think and maybe even respectfully stick up for yourself (i.e., it's not your fault FH hasn't been around, he's grown and makes his own decisions and you're not keeping him from his family, etc...). I'm so sorry and I hope everything works out!
MaggieLuvsJoe
Posted:
Member since
Re: FSIL
She's never met you and she attacked you via email? WHOA! That's pretty harsh of her to form an opinion of you without even knowing you.
If you feel badly about blowing up on her you could sent a second email letting her know that you jumped the gun but if I were you I wouldnt feel obligated to do so since she is the one that started with the email wars.
sorry you're dealing with this drama
jenniferd
Posted:
Member since
Re: FSIL
So his sister lives in Ireland? And she complains that her bro has no time for the family? Do they all live in Ireland? I'd say be the better person bc you already responded to her email. It's what happens when people get married or engaged they spend time together to start making plans for a family of their own. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. Like I said, be the better person.
mdawg
Posted:
Member since
Re: FSIL
tell her to take it up with her brother, which if it was such a huge problem, she shouldve done in the first place...
however, in my humble opinion, i think she should go fawk herself because shes trying to ruin her brothers happiness. In my opinion, if person A asks person B to choose between person A and person C, person B should say goodbye to person A.
i hope that made sense.
stephlovesseyi
Posted:
Member since
Re: FSIL
Im sorry this is happening to you. I wish I had advice! Sending postive vibes your way,
flairforfashion
Posted:
Member since
Re: FSIL
Sorry you are going through this! Family can be such a pain! I think you should keep the peace and still invite them. Family is family and if there is no peace, it can make things unbreable. BTW, I sent you FM....
MEMEJOR
Posted:
Member since
Re: FSIL
I feel like its so easy to blame someone else when people have a problem.... I think you have to watch ur words because remember when u marry a man u marry his family and it is his family... I am soooo sorry u have to deal with this...
Future Mrs Roo
Posted:
Member since
Re: FSIL
wait, she lives in ireland? so how would she know what your FH is doing over here? it seems to me that people have been talking. at this point I would just be civil with his family, and thats it.
SOTHISISLOVE53109
Posted:
Member since
Re: FSIL - Update
I'm going through the same thing. Just ignore it, don't answer her back and give her the satisfaction of getting your all flustered.
I have gone back and forth with FSIL until she told me I would never be accepted into the family and I was not blood and I was cut from her life...pretty much dead to her.
So i never answered - hopefully it makes her regret was she said, such hurtful things.
I know that I didn't say anything I would regret 5-10 years down the road, once you speak it you can't take it back especially if it's email.
Don't let her get to you and for the amount of time you see her just let it go. All that matter is that FH is worth it and let all the family drama go away..because at the end of the day it's you and him.
