Member since
funnies... cause i'm bored
Member since
Re: funnies... cause i'm bored
'No I mean there is a legitimate darkening of the moon.'
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Re: funnies... cause i'm bored
German Sausage was great! ![]()
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Member since
Re: funnies... cause i'm bored
now for the TFLN and FML's
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(312):
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. ****.
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(417):
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
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(318):
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
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(949):
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
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(909):
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
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(301):
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
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(440):
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
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(612):
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was 'ballet or pole' in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
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(248):
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
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(832):
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
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(450):
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
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(902):
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
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(343):
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
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(916):
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
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Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said 'Bring it.' FML
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Today, I was asked to crawl through a sun roof because one of my co workers locked her keys in her car. After I got the keys, instead of opening the car door, I climbed back out through the sun roof. To laughter. FML
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Today, someone whistled, so I turned around. The guy behind me then said: 'Did you seriously think that it was meant for you?' FML
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Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML
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Today, my husband won't talk to me because he got mad when I asked him what he thought about 'that lame performance last night'. He doesn't believe that I really was talking about football. FML
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---------------------------
(312):
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. ****.
---
(417):
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
---
(318):
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
---
(949):
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
---
(909):
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
---
(301):
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
---
(440):
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
---
(612):
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was 'ballet or pole' in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
---
(248):
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
---
(832):
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
---
(450):
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
---
(902):
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
---
(343):
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
---
(916):
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
---
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said 'Bring it.' FML
---
Today, I was asked to crawl through a sun roof because one of my co workers locked her keys in her car. After I got the keys, instead of opening the car door, I climbed back out through the sun roof. To laughter. FML
---
Today, someone whistled, so I turned around. The guy behind me then said: 'Did you seriously think that it was meant for you?' FML
---
Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML
---
Today, my husband won't talk to me because he got mad when I asked him what he thought about 'that lame performance last night'. He doesn't believe that I really was talking about football. FML
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Member since
Re: funnies... cause i'm bored
Posted by Im_My_Own_Princess
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said 'Bring it.' FML
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