funny
As the record said years ago, 'Don't make your move
> too soon!!'
>
>
> Dear Husband:
>
> I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm
> leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you
> for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
> These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called
> to tell me that you had quit your job today and that
> was the last straw.
>
> Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had
> gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite
> meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home
> and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep
> after watching the game.
>
> You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch
> me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't
> love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.
>
> P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER
> and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have
> a great life!
>
> Your EX-Wife
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Dear Ex-Wife
>
> Nothing has made my day more than receiving your
> letter. It's true that you and I have been married for
> seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from
> what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to
> drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't
> work.
>
> I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last
> week, the first thing that came to mind was 'You look
> just like a man!' My mother raised me to not say
> anything if you can't say anything nice.
>
> When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten
> me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating
> pork seven years ago.
>
> I went to sleep on you when you had on that new
> negligee because the price tag was still on it. I
> prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had
> just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and
> your negligee was $49.99.
>
> After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we
> could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit
> the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and
> bought us two tickets to Jamaica.
> But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens
> for a reason I guess.
>
> I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My
> lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't
> get a dime from me. So take care.
>
> P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my
> brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
>
> Signed Rich As Hell and Free!
> too soon!!'
>
>
> Dear Husband:
>
> I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm
> leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you
> for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
> These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called
> to tell me that you had quit your job today and that
> was the last straw.
>
> Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had
> gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite
> meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home
> and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep
> after watching the game.
>
> You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch
> me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't
> love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.
>
> P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER
> and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have
> a great life!
>
> Your EX-Wife
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Dear Ex-Wife
>
> Nothing has made my day more than receiving your
> letter. It's true that you and I have been married for
> seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from
> what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to
> drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't
> work.
>
> I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last
> week, the first thing that came to mind was 'You look
> just like a man!' My mother raised me to not say
> anything if you can't say anything nice.
>
> When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten
> me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating
> pork seven years ago.
>
> I went to sleep on you when you had on that new
> negligee because the price tag was still on it. I
> prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had
> just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and
> your negligee was $49.99.
>
> After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we
> could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit
> the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and
> bought us two tickets to Jamaica.
> But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens
> for a reason I guess.
>
> I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My
> lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't
> get a dime from me. So take care.
>
> P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my
> brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
>
> Signed Rich As Hell and Free!
