Fustrated with FH.......

I don't know if I'm the only one who is going through this, but It's driving me nuts. Fh and I have been together for over 8 years now, and have been living together for almost 3 years. When we first moved in together, he helped with chores around the house. And now..... I feel like every time I ask him to help It's a chore for me. I work 8 1/2 hours on the midnight shift, come home around 9 am, play with Bella my puppy, try to get some sleep, which usually means about 3-4 hours, get up, take Bella out for a walk, make dinner, relax with FH for an hour or two, then I get ready to go to work for 11:15pm.... That's my day.. And in between I clean and go to the laundry mat with 3 weeks of laundry. And when I ask FH to help, I get i'm tired' Well, so am I... I worked all day he said. Like I didn't!!!! So b/c he worked all day, he can't help out. Granted he takes care of the garbage, when he's not running late for work...
I don't mean to make this long, I just needed to vent... We just had it out, and he tells me, he'll get to it, when he gets to it.... Whish is like never. He has time to do the things he wants, but god forbid I ask him for something lately, he calls me mom He used to always help, I can't do it all myself....

Are we marrying the same man???? I love him todeath and I can't even imagine things without him, but give me a break.... He complains when we spend $150 at the supermarket When we haven't gone for a month. I don't even know why I have a hamper, b/c he doesn't use it... He's 32yrs old, I just wish he would grow up already....

You sound like me. I've been w/my FH for 6yrs and living w/him for 4 1/2 so I know exactly how you feel. I think they just take us for granted. That they know, we'll just take care of it. Sort of like when they (and us) lived at home w/our moms. I for one, didn't help my mom out as much as I should because I knew she'd take care of it. So unfortunately, their moms passed them onto us girls. Yeppie!! I honestly don't think that they realize that the sheets are dirty and need to be washed. Whenever I wash our sheets (once a week) he sometimes says 'AGAIN you're changing the sheets' and when I tell him it's been a week, he says 'wow, really'.

What works for me is when I say lets be a team and do it together. For example, he'll clean the tub and shower while I clean the sink, toilet and floor. He likes the idea that we're doing it together. He doesn't feel like he's cleaning by himself. I know you're schedule is off from his, but maybe you guys could fit in an hour of chores before you go to work at night. I also learned to compliment his work. Tell him what a great job he did cleaning or thank him for taking out the garbage. That way he feels appreciated. Yeah, yeah, I know what about us feeling appreciated.....I'm still waiting, but at least I'll get some help.

I always thank him for doing anything! Hoping that will help him to do it again! And I tried getting him to do things together, but when we're both off, it always seems to be a nice day, and he goes riding off on his motorcycle It's always something... But I'm glad I'm not alone....

Hang in there. I tell my FH his nick name is 'i'll do it later' and somehow later hardly comes. This doesn't always work for me, but sometimes it does so maybe it will sometimes work for you too. Believe me, you're definitely not alone. I just recently started separating his laundry. He's seen me do laundry, but I'm not sure if he realized that it's only mine and towels. I guess when he has no more underwear, he'll figure it out.

It stinks to have to be this way, but sometimes you just don't have a choice. If I didn't work, then I would be more than happy to take care of it all.

Good Luck.