Y'all... FH and I got engaged two months ago... and his parents show NO interest in my wedding. His mom lives in FL.. so I understand it's hard to help out from all the way out there, so I'm cutting some slack until I meet her...
But my FFIL? He's selfish. I was a witness at his wedding in April (3rd marriage) but he has yet to help out or offer any congratulations in any way. We had a BBQ today and as a show of good faith I invited FFIL FBIL and FFILs wife. They came, they ate, they spoke with each other and left. I went over and said hello to them, made sure to thank them for coming... but they didn't try to talk to us or mingle in any way.
I just think it's so crappy that my mom (dad has passed) and MY family are supporting us so much and helping us out, but we're getting no help or support from FHs family at all.
I am trying not to resent FH for it, but it's really hard to see my family so excited and helpful when his isn't... I kind of think this is unfair.
What do I do? I'm pretty upset about this... and I don't like feeling all this negativity.
FutureMrsCarrieri
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future (Father) In Laws VENT (Kind of Long)
I have the same problem -- My Future IL's are seriously disinterested.
I was really hurt at first because I was making a real effort to reach out and include FMIL in all aspects of the planning process. FH's father and brother are no better. At least your FFIL came over for a bbq -- all of my invitations have been ignored!
There is something wrong with them -- not me. I can't change them but i can limit my contact with them. FH sees what's going on and agrees with me.
Their behavior is abnormal and life is too short.
JodyLC
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future (Father) In Laws VENT (Kind of Long)
There is nothing you can do about it... i am in the ame position my family are the ones being stand offish though and FH's the ones who are into it. You just kinda learn to live with it and move on... It is FH you are marrying and going to live wih not his family.
JoanneAndJustin
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future (Father) In Laws VENT (Kind of Long)
Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri
I have the same problem -- My Future IL's are seriously disinterested.
I was really hurt at first because I was making a real effort to reach out and include FMIL in all aspects of the planning process. FH's father and brother are no better. At least your FFIL came over for a bbq -- all of my invitations have been ignored!
There is something wrong with them -- not me. I can't change them but i can limit my contact with them. FH sees what's going on and agrees with me.
Their behavior is abnormal and life is too short.
I am so hurt by this to watch my family bend over backwards to help plan, while his family does nothing just REALLY bothers me.
FH is really helpful too, and I know he sees it (a little bit) but I don't know if I can tell him how hurt I am by the lack of interest of his family.
JoanneAndJustin
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future (Father) In Laws VENT (Kind of Long)
Posted by JodyLC
There is nothing you can do about it... i am in the ame position my family are the ones being stand offish though and FH's the ones who are into it. You just kinda learn to live with it and move on... It is FH you are marrying and going to live wih not his family.
I am trying to get past it, I am... but I just feel bad for my family making all this effort when his is making none. I understand neither of us can control this... but would it KILL them to send a card?
FutureMrsCarrieri
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future (Father) In Laws VENT (Kind of Long)
Posted by windyBride33
Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri
I have the same problem -- My Future IL's are seriously disinterested.
I was really hurt at first because I was making a real effort to reach out and include FMIL in all aspects of the planning process. FH's father and brother are no better. At least your FFIL came over for a bbq -- all of my invitations have been ignored!
There is something wrong with them -- not me. I can't change them but i can limit my contact with them. FH sees what's going on and agrees with me.
Their behavior is abnormal and life is too short.
I am so hurt by this to watch my family bend over backwards to help plan, while his family does nothing just REALLY bothers me.
FH is really helpful too, and I know he sees it (a little bit) but I don't know if I can tell him how hurt I am by the lack of interest of his family.
my FMIL took it one step further. My last ditch effort was on the day I sent her pics of my hair and make-up trial. She wasn't there obviously and thought she might like to take a look. She actually wrote me back to tell me that I looked 'old and tired' in my pics I eventually sent FH her email and he apologized on her behalf and then confronted her. I'm sure your FH sees what's going on.
You just have to accept that they are not interested and move on...
JodyLC
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future (Father) In Laws VENT (Kind of Long)
Posted by windyBride33
Posted by JodyLC
There is nothing you can do about it... i am in the ame position my family are the ones being stand offish though and FH's the ones who are into it. You just kinda learn to live with it and move on... It is FH you are marrying and going to live wih not his family.
I am trying to get past it, I am... but I just feel bad for my family making all this effort when his is making none. I understand neither of us can control this... but would it KILL them to send a card?
No it wouldn't kill them ... we only got one card and it was from FSIL who is also my MOH... my family hasn't ever even said congrats!!! He went from being Chris (someone they liked) to being my 'future husband' & @$$hole & finding everything wrong they could think of, including... OMG that he is not handy around the house & he plays video games... OMG it's a tragedy Some people are just not worth the stress I have learned ... just let it go it will only make tension with you and FH.
FutureMrsCarrieri
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future (Father) In Laws VENT (Kind of Long)
Posted by JodyLC
Posted by windyBride33
Posted by JodyLC
There is nothing you can do about it... i am in the ame position my family are the ones being stand offish though and FH's the ones who are into it. You just kinda learn to live with it and move on... It is FH you are marrying and going to live wih not his family.
I am trying to get past it, I am... but I just feel bad for my family making all this effort when his is making none. I understand neither of us can control this... but would it KILL them to send a card?
No it wouldn't kill them ... we only got one card and it was from FSIL who is also my MOH... my family hasn't ever even said congrats!!! He went from being Chris (someone they liked) to being my 'future husband' & @$$hole & finding everything wrong they could think of, including... OMG that he is not handy around the house & he plays video games... OMG it's a tragedy Some people are just not worth the stress I have learned ... just let it go it will only make tension with you and FH.
wow, they really turned on him.
FH's family thought I was ok until we got engaged.
JoanneAndJustin
Posted:
Member since
Re: Future (Father) In Laws VENT (Kind of Long)
I feel better, I talked to FH about it as gently as I could... he saw a lot of it yesterday, but I'm just going to try my best not to let it bother me... I can't help it if other people are socially inept, and I don't want to make FH feel bad about it, so his dad will get an invitation and I'll be nice to him, but I'll deal with him as little as I possibly can.
