future in laws

sooo fh and i werent sure how we were paying for our wedding. we figured we would take out a loan and deal with it. My parents dont have much. My mom is buying me my dress, which is amazing. And my dad is going to give us like 1K prob he is out of state and doesnt have much either.
FIL's are well off. Very comfortable, both retired and this is common knowledge. We have a great relationship and they love me and are so happy for their son!
So when it came time to talk about budget, we went to banks and found out the details and its alot more than i thought. Interest rates are so high, regardless of credit score. So FMIL said ' no way you arent paying all that interest. We would rather give you the money to borrow and then pay us back after wedding!'
Very generous and wonderful of them to offer and help us in that way.
Is it wrong of me to find it odd tho that they didnt offer to help or give us a gift of some kind, that we dont have to pay back..... I just thought they would. They have 3 kids, none are married and I kno they can swing it. I feel terrible saying this but what do we think about this... any feedback is welcome!! thanks for listening!

There are lots of people on here in your situation I feel that can probably sympathize. Personally I think it's tough, it may be down to traditions etc....

Sorry

I think that they mentioned giving the money back because you were going to get a loan to begin with. I'm pretty sure they will give you a gift ASIDE from the loan. This is they're way of saying 'We can help, and just worry about it later'. That doesn't necessarily mean you won't be getting a monetary gift from them. You still have a little over a year and I know that as time passes, it will be mentioned. Hopefully sooner than later so you can start budgeting. Oh and I think once they see you're taking they're loan seriously and sit down and talk about, they might mention what they're GIVING and what they're lending. I don't know its just a hunch

i was hoping maybe when the wedding was over, they might say, pay us what u got in all ur gifts and call it even! That is a long shot but it would be the most amazing news ever, if that was the outcome.
I feel like if they give us a monetary gift, i will just be giving it back to them to pay them back....
ahhh so stressful!
but i am grateful, although it may not sound so good lol

Nooo I am goign through the same thing...here's my thoughts- I don't feel like we should rely on anyone. However the selfish part of me does-lol because

My mom who doesn't have much either (and who is paying for her own chemo)is paying for my dress, veil, shoes and limos so about 7k

My mother in law (who is recently divorced from my FIL) is paying for DJ/Lighting 4k

My FH asks my FIL (who is loaded-even though its not my business but he is) if he can help us with anything cuts him a check for $545 WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF not $550 ..but $545 Friggin DOLLARS

MY FH is beyond livid. SO is my mom and MIL BUT just proves how cheap ppl are . I don't care how bad that sounds.

I know where you are coming from and no you have the right to be kinda mad

wow you are very lucky...
$545 *** is that about??>>>>

I think its crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

Helping their son to not be in debt after the wedding would be nice, not saving him from paying interest. I think if you have it, give it..

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Posted by bethie853

There are lots of people on here in your situation I feel that can probably sympathize. Personally I think it's tough, it may be down to traditions etc....

Sorry

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Same here

I'm sorry you are having this issue. Money can cause a lot of problems...

Be grateful that you have in laws to help out even if it's 545. Some engaged couples have no one to help them. I will never have a MIL or FIL :( (both have passed away)

Take a moment to relax, breath and talk with your FH about adjusting budget if you feel you will not be able to afford it.

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Posted by bethie853

There are lots of people on here in your situation I feel that can probably sympathize. Personally I think it's tough, it may be down to traditions etc....

Sorry

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ITA with this, it sucks but a lot of people thinks is the brides familys job to pay