Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

curlysue Posted: May 21, 2003 08:36 PM

Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

Hello again, I posted other stuff but here is the latest: Inlaws want to approve the invitation, the wording of the invitation and they want it in the language their family speaks. They are not participating in the wedding planning in any way shape or form. If they don't get to see the invitation they will not provide us with a list of guests from their side. Who is doing who a favor? We are paying for all their guests we did not even give them a limit to the amount of people to invite and they are giving us these demands!!How dare them. THese people live on another planet they need to come back to earth!!!

pschica Posted: May 21, 2003 08:43 PM

Re: Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

sorry to hear that ....one day you will look back and laugh at all this though (well, if you dont kill them in the menatime!!)

Sunny Posted: May 21, 2003 08:46 PM

Re: Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

Yuck! How are you going to handle that?

julybride444 Posted: May 21, 2003 08:51 PM

Re: Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

They want the invite in their language? What about your family? Can you do invites in their language for their side and in you language for yours? Jeez....they really are pains in the *#!.

JodiBabe Posted: May 21, 2003 08:54 PM

Re: Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

OMG!!!!!

Tell them TOUGH!!!!!!

This is your wedding & you speak English therefore they are printed in English!!!!!!

If they don't like it then I guess their guests will not be attending.....OH WELL!!!!!

curlysue Posted: May 21, 2003 09:02 PM

Re: Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

MY FI thinks I have no idea about whats going on. But I'm a pretty smart cookie I find things out. He doesn't want to tell me because he is afraid on how I will react. I'm fine with it. I really think their hurting themselves especially their son. I only feel hurt for him, he's gone through so much crap with them. Its those people that think they are sooo right when the are sooo wrong, very ignorant. I have been respectful to them for almost 10 years I'm 27 my FI is 28 we should not be treated like this. His parents have to start living in the year 2003. It helps talking about it so I appreciate those who are listening. Thanks!

prncssrachel Posted: May 21, 2003 09:21 PM

Re: Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

You tell them that their threats of not providing you with a guest list only saves you that much more money. Not to mention, do they think their son is an idiot? Like your smart FH can't come up with a list of his family and the people they know on his own! I feel for you my dear!

swags1016 Posted: May 22, 2003 06:10 AM

Re: Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

They want your invitations in the language that your FFIL speaks. OK tell them- he is the number of our invitation of lady. He is the style number order the amount you want. They want it done that way, let them pay to have the invitations for their guests printed!

I am sorry, I hope things get better!

MrsTC Posted: May 22, 2003 07:22 AM

Re: Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

Is there any way you can ask them to help pay (or just entirely pay) for the invitations? If they want it in English and their native language it's the least they can do!! Inlaws!!!

Good luck

curlysue Posted: May 22, 2003 07:45 AM

Re: Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

It is all about image with these people. They think they are these high profile people and their name should be posted on a bulletin board at the church and reception. They want to be known even though they are not participating. I will not let that happen. They want their cake and eat it too. I'm getting to the point where I don't want them introduced by my band. Supposedly my FI is going to talk to them tonight and I can't wait.

NovemberSue Posted: May 22, 2003 07:50 AM

Re: Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

I would have FH talk to them. I think they are being very unfair to both of you.
You are better off having him talk to his family about it.Good luck.

Fran M Posted: May 22, 2003 09:11 AM

Re: Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

HMMM..... No guest list from the in laws. Oh well, more friends and family to invite from your side.

kelly6273 Posted: May 22, 2003 09:15 AM

Re: Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

Oh NO...NOT AGAIN!!!

dkga1026 Posted: May 22, 2003 09:15 AM

Re: Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

I woudn't sweat it - you have enough to worry about! Order the invites you want, in the language you want and DO NOT show anyone anything. If they don't want to give you a guest list, then just think of all the $$ you will save! Don't let them control you or FH like this! Good luck!

Thrilled Posted: May 22, 2003 09:21 AM

Re: Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

dkga is right - And this will set a precedent for the rest of your lives together, if you let them start controlling you now.

What language do they speak, by the way? We have brides and grooms of almost every ethnicity and origin you can think of on this board and maybe someone has a situation similar to yours!

Jan60504 Posted: May 22, 2003 10:33 AM

Re: Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

I sooo understand what you are going through! My FIL's have been putting me (and their son) through stuff just like this. I say just do the invites the way you were going to do them and if they don't give you a guest list, oh well. Just tell FI to make up a list of the people that he wants and send your invites to them. That's what I'm thinking of doing in my situation (FMIL won't give me a guest list because we're not having children at the wedding). Like you said, they're only hurting themselves. Good luck. If you need to talk FM me - I really do understand! (Even the language thing I've been going through!)

sanmik Posted: May 22, 2003 10:58 AM

Re: Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

I made inserts of the invite wording in Italian for the invitations sent to Italy and some relatives here that don't read English well, however, they threatening not to give you a list - - they have quiet a set on them.

Eli Posted: May 22, 2003 11:46 AM

Re: Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

That is horrible! if you are paying for the wedding WHY do they have to APPROVE the invites? there are just some things that cross the line. if they don't like the invites do you have to pick new ones? yikes.....oh and by the way- i can't get over that you and i have the same name as do our FH's i know that's not what the post is about but i looked at your profile and did a double take when i saw Elizabeth and Seth! i was like hey! that's me!!!
hope things with the FIL's works out....

Olgaki Posted: May 22, 2003 11:50 AM

Re: Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

While I agree that it is YOUR wedding and YOU should do what YOU want, if you want to passify them, I have a little idea.

My cousin is marrying a spanish woman in mexico and their invites are in Spanish since that is the country the wedding is taking place and all her family is comming. But what she did (she is a sweeat heart!) is have the printer print up English invites. THey weren't as big as the regular invites, they kind of looked like a thank you card that flaps open - but the invite was translated there into english so all were happy. Just a thought

michele31 Posted: May 22, 2003 11:55 AM

Re: Future Inlaws are making trouble again PartII...

I think it is time for your future husband to speak to his parents. He, not you, needs to tell them that they have NO say on the invite design, the wording or any of the plans. He can say it as nicely as he wants to. Also, your fiance is old enough to know his family and I am sure can get their addresses himself. If his parents choice NOT to provide a list he can tell them very plainly 'I will invite the family that I wish to then. And not one person more'. Plain and simple. I have a feeling that they want to make sure their names on the the invites. Since they are not hosting or helping you do not have to put their names on the invites at all!
Also, if the invites need to be translated in ANY way I would tell them that the extra cost must be covered by them. Also, consider that many places do not translate or print in foreign lanuages so you might need 2 different invites. They should offer to pay for it. If not, tell them that you cannot afford the extra costs and they will have to provide the money for the service.

If you begin to give into these demands now they will NEVER end. They will have a problem with the home you chose, your children's names, etc...etc.. . They will continue to think they have a right or say in your decisions forever.