Getting Married at the Hall

So I am a christian and my fiance (who has only been in a church once- for his baptism) is technically a christian as well. The Catholic church says that when two Christians marry it must be in a church or a priest will not preform the ceremony.

John and I are getting married at the Vanderbilt where our reception is. Has anyone run into this? Do you know of a priest that will preform our ceremony?

I am crushed that the church is acting this way, the only reason we are not marrying in my church is that my father just passed away and I do not want to spend our wedding in a sad place.

HELP!!

We are also both Christian but also chose to get married at our RH for personal reasons. No, a Catholic priest will not perform a marriage ceremony outside of a church. But we had a former priest, who left the church, perform our ceremony. Our marriage isn't recognized by the church but it is completely legal as far as state law goes.

I'm also very sorry for the loss of your father!

If your FH never had a communion or confirmation, won't he have to go through that first and then pre-cana to get married inside a church too? I'm not sure, we didn't go that route.

Anyway, we had an interfaith minister do our ceremony at Planting Fields Arboretum. She was so kind, thoughtful, infused our personalities and families into the ceremony, and she's also a LIW vendor. If you're interested, check out Reverend Debrah Viola in the Vendors section.

We had contacted another officiant who tried to lay on the ol' Catholic guilt before I even finished the 'we're not getting married in a church' sentence. Totally turned us off. Don't need that kind of attitude on our wedding day.

there are plenty of former clergy and reverends who offer their services. some listed on this site. also, try asking your RH for any suggestions/recommendations....that's how we found ours.

so sorry to hear about your father though.

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Posted by GabrielleandJohn

Is your retired priest doing a religion service/mass?

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Yes, we told our officiant that we still wanted a religious ceremony and he incorporated that into the service. I highly recommend Fr. Tom McCormick (he's on this site), he did a great job, exactly what we wanted.

Aww i'm sorry!! We have to get married at the hall as well, FH was married before. At first it upset me, but then I realized that it's a common thing now to get married at the hall and the fact that we love eachother deeply is more important then who recognizes our marriage. Cheer up hunny!!

you will not have an officially recognized marriage by the church unless it's performed in a church. no way around that.

but if you want to have a former catholic priest--check out http://www.catholicanswer.org (i think that's the site). it's supposed to be an organization of former priests who perform wedding outside the church for catholics and such who wish to have a religious ceremony in a non-sacred location

Sorry to hear of your worries.... but there are some ways around this.

You said you are Christian... are you a CATHOLIC Christian? If not, (I am assuming your FH is NOT Catholic, as you did not specify) you will NOT be able to be married in a Catholic Church. One or both partners must be Catholic. You only need to be baptized to be married in a Catholic church, but one, or both of you, must have been baptized Catholic.

Priests or deacons will not perform wedding ceremonies and/or Masses outside of a Cathoclic Church. The Sacrament is to be witnessed in a Church as the Blessed Sacrament (Jesus) is physically present. If you still want to be married in a Catholic church, but your present church holds some painful memories for you, you can always look around and find other parishes that will marry non-parishoners. I believe St. Patrick's in Bay Shore is one.... look around and see. you don't have to get married at the hall if that's not what you want!

If you do use one of these 'ex-priests' just know that your marriage will NOT be recognized by the Church as a Sacrament because these 'priests' have either left the Church or are 'bending the rules.' Most of them are de-frocked priests; a retired priest just means they are no longer actively serving a parish due to age or health reasons, etc. Retired Catholic priests are still priests and will usually only perform a marriage IN a church. these 'ex-priests' are fine if you want the 'tradition' of a Catholic ceremony, but it will not be valid in the eyes of the Church. this only occurs if you are married inside a Catholic Church and/or have received the required dispensation to have the ceremony done elsewhere... and from what I know, that is only for extenuating circumstances.

Hope this helps.... let me know if you have any other questions. good luck to you!!!!