Getting married in church / Already live together

sarahdavid Posted: Apr 03, 2008 10:01 AM

Getting married in church / Already live together

FH and I are meeting with the church for the first time tonight and we're starting to get nervous. We've lived together for over a year now. How do we approach this issue with the church? I've heard we're not supposed to have them know about this. We have our own priest doing the ceremony and he is fine with the situation. FH is worried they're going to ask for our IDs for some reason, and will be busted when they see we have the same address.

Any advice???

mariaobride Posted: Apr 03, 2008 10:06 AM

Re: Getting married in church / Already live together

they wont ask you for identification- my priest actually asked for our addresses separetly and casually we said the same address he just looked at us he didnt say anything- it depends on the church I didnt want to lie to the priest I would have felt soo guilty- it wasnt a big deal

Nat2jr Posted: Apr 03, 2008 10:07 AM

Re: Getting married in church / Already live together

You shouldn't worry especially if the Priest knows your living together.. I have been living with my FH since 1995 and married civil ceremony in Dec 1997..Just be honest if they ask..

NoraPearl Posted: Apr 03, 2008 10:10 AM

Re: Getting married in church / Already live together

We were worried about the same thing! You say your priest already knows and is going through with the wedding? Than you are fine! The church does frown upon people living together before marriage, which they will discuss in Pre Cana probably, but they know if they want to keep young people coming to church and breeding more Christians than they need to get with the times. Just be honest if you are asked, which they probably won't even do. The worst you will get is a friendly lecture why it is more exciting and better for a relationship to not live together before getting married. But they would not cancel your wedding because of that ever.

Congrats!

cmjd Posted: Apr 03, 2008 10:11 AM

Re: Getting married in church / Already live together

My chrch knows we live at the same address. Dont worry about it too much. It will be ok either way. ANd they dont ask for ID's.

bluegreen08 Posted: Apr 03, 2008 10:13 AM

Re: Getting married in church / Already live together

I live with my FH but am not getting married in a church so I'm a little clueless about this. Would they really not marry you? Or would they make you move out until the wedding? Or never marry you ever?

Browneyesncute Posted: Apr 03, 2008 10:14 AM

Re: Getting married in church / Already live together

My church just handed me a flyer on how we shouldn't live together but they never said anything to us!

FutureMrsMacci Posted: Apr 03, 2008 10:18 AM

Re: Getting married in church / Already live together

I think it depends on your church. We met with out priest last Saturday and have been living together for 2 years and he did not care at all

sarahdavid Posted: Apr 03, 2008 10:31 AM

Re: Getting married in church / Already live together

The priest marrying us is my grandmother's cousin, so he's familiar with the family....but, he is not affiliated with the church we're getting married in.

Thanks for all the info. I would feel really guilty as well about lying if they asked us flat out if we live together. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that it goes well!

NoraPearl Posted: Apr 03, 2008 10:39 AM

Re: Getting married in church / Already live together

You will totally be fine! Just be honest if asked, and have a great wedding!

woobie113007 Posted: Apr 03, 2008 10:52 AM

Re: Getting married in church / Already live together

I actually gave the priest my parents address.
ETA our priest never really came out and asked if we live together. He just asked us for our addresses for the paperwork and stuff.

znycgirl Posted: Apr 03, 2008 12:23 PM

Re: Getting married in church / Already live together

I don't think my church ever asked...nor cared.
No sex questions either.

FutureMrsCarrieri Posted: Apr 03, 2008 05:04 PM

Re: Getting married in church / Already live together

Posted by woobie113007

I actually gave the priest my parents address.
ETA our priest never really came out and asked if we live together. He just asked us for our addresses for the paperwork and stuff.

we were asked more than once

CMS Posted: Apr 03, 2008 05:08 PM

Re: Getting married in church / Already live together

I think it depends on the priest, honestly.

I've talked to two different priests at my church. Priest #1 asked me about three times if FH and me live together. Even though we don't, I got the feeling he was trying to trip me up into admitting that we did. and I also go the feeling that he would make it known that he wasn't happy with that.

Priest #2 just asked for our addresses when we were filling out the paperwork and didn't go any further than that.

The priest that will actually be doing my wedding knows FH and me and knows that we travel together and that we stay over each other's houses and also knows that we're looking to buy a house and that we will probably move into the house before we're married and doesn't say anything.

kahlua716 Posted: Apr 03, 2008 05:15 PM

Re: Getting married in church / Already live together

We used our parent's addresses and kept it a secret.

Lizza_uws Posted: Apr 03, 2008 05:39 PM

Re: Getting married in church / Already live together

They never asked for our ID....don't be worried!

PegaLega Posted: Apr 03, 2008 05:59 PM

Re: Getting married in church / Already live together

We didnt intend on saying we didnt live together-we told him we did and he didnt even bat an eye at the thought. i wouldnt worry about it so much

MrsBtobe2009 Posted: Apr 03, 2008 06:33 PM

Re: Getting married in church / Already live together

FH and I are in the same situation. When they wanted my address, I gave them my dad's address. I wouldn't tell them that you live together. My priest didnt come out and ask, so we didnt say anything at all about it.

Wifeynella Posted: Apr 04, 2008 12:09 AM

Re: Getting married in church / Already live together

our priest is more than aware we live together b/c he came and blessed the apt when we moved in together.

we are however lying at pre-cana b/c a friend of mine went and they refused her and her FH pre-cana

sarahdavid Posted: Apr 04, 2008 08:36 AM

Re: Getting married in church / Already live together

Well the meeting is over, and it went very well. The priest didn't flat out ask if we lived together, but we did have to fill out paperwork that asked for our addresses. First I went and gave our correct address, then FH went and he gave his dad's address. It was kinda funny because I kept making fun of him afterwards saying that he lied to the priest. The guy we met with was about 1 million years old and hard of hearing. So in that situation I think it was good the way it all worked out. I'm glad we got that part over with, and it feels so much more official now. On to the next step! Thanks for all the help.