getting married in church & Confirmation

My FH never made his confirmation. When we went to meet with the deacon he said that it may be a problem he would have to speak to the priest about it. I just got an email saying that he must make it before our wedding date. According to the diocese only one person has to make it-which I did. In our meeting the deacon even said that only one person has to be catholic-the other person can be Jewish and they would still marry you with a mass.
Why are they giving us such a hard time?? I really feel like crying.

From what I know, you need to get 'permission' from the diocese if FH isn't confirmed. Ask your church about the permission slip.

I needed to fill one out and have it sent to the diocese for approval because FH is Episcopal, not Catholic. He's confirmed, just not confirmed Catholic. We just had to give the church a copy of his certificate and have the permission slip filled out and approved.

I'd ask. If they still say no, find a different church.

We are in the same situation. Fh never even made his communion, let alone confirmation!!! When we met with the deacon, I thought for sure this was going to be an issue but he asked FH if our children will be raised catholic and he responded yes, so there is no issue anymore.

It kind of s_cks b/c each church has their own rules, its not like the same rules in the diocese apply to each church. Personally, I think its just a way to get you to pay more money to the church.

Honestly, it shouldn't be a problem, since there are a ton of girls on here who are in similar situations and didn't have an issue. I would look into another church. Sorry!

Mine wasn't confirmed either..

at first they were given me an issue then somehow he doesn't need it.. and im marrying someone that his church was destroyed in an earthquake. So... some reason i dont need it now..

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Posted by christine2010

i have the exact same situation. & i did cry over it. it comes down to the fact that the diocese opinion on this topic does not matter. it is an individualized thing church by church. you basically need to call around & find a church that will allow you to get married in it.

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Yep, I'm not confirmed and I thought I would have to be. But FH's pastor spoke to whoever is the main person and he told me I do not need to be confirmed to be married in the church.

My friend on the other hand, had to be confirmed to be married in her church. Every church has it's own set of rules for these things.

I think it depends on the church. FH is not confirmed, but since I have done all of my sacraments, they said it was ok. He just had to be baptized.

Sorry your having a hard time.

this happened with my brother and my sister in law when they wanted to get married. my brother had his confirmation but my sister in law didn't. She took classes and recieved her confirmation. I guess every church is different, good luck

09-er crashing. I never made my confirmation - FH did. It wasn't a problem at all with our church. The priest did say, however, that because I didn't make my confirmation, we can have a ceremony but not a full nuptial mass, which was fine because we didn't want the full mass anyway.

Unless you have your heart set on this particular church, I would call around and find one that will perform the ceremony.

OK... we had this situation in MY church, since I was confirmed and communioned there, and FH had rec'd baptism, but not communion or confirmation we were able to get married, no problem....


HOWEVER, FH wanted to get confirmed, so he did at his church. Classes run from September - Pentecost Sunday (end of May) so, if they're not budging your FH would be confirmed like a week before your wedding...

See if you can talk to the priest instead of the Deacon, the Priest will let you know for sure.

Thanks to everyone who responded. Its nice to know I'm not alone.
This is the church I grew up in and the church that my parents go to and volunteer.
Its not that he doesn't want to do it its that he's never going to be able to make confirmation meetings. I had contacted a church close to our place and the priest was very nice and said he would have the confirmation committee contact me in a few weeks. I need a place which will work with his schedule. He leaves at 6:30 in the morning and now that its light out late-doesn't get home until 8ish. I wrote to him that I do not think that FH not receiving his confirmation should be an impediment to getting married in a catholic church. We shall see what he writes back. What happens if he isn't able to do it or complete it than what? Am I out of luck no wedding??!! I cant wait till may next year to find out ya know.
Its really funny because when we met with the deacon he was speaking to us if we wanted a mass or not. I asked who doesn't do masses he said interfaith couples. I had no idea that Jewish people could even get married in a church. He went on to telling me yes they can and they can even have a mass. But here I am with a catholic fiance and they are going to give me a hard time??!
I def will have to check out other churches. Hope they take me and will have my date. My family business deals with churches so Im sure I can get us married somewhere!!
Thanks for helping & listening.

I'm not confirmed, FH has all of his sacraments.
The deacon hasn't given me a problem at all. He called and asked if i wanted to be enrolled in the classes this past spring to get confirmed cuz i would need it to be a godmother.

I didn't enroll but i'm having no prob with it.

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Posted by Spring143

My FH never made his confirmation. When we went to meet with the deacon he said that it may be a problem he would have to speak to the priest about it. I just got an email saying that he must make it before our wedding date. According to the diocese only one person has to make it-which I did. In our meeting the deacon even said that only one person has to be catholic-the other person can be Jewish and they would still marry you with a mass.
Why are they giving us such a hard time?? I really feel like crying.

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I got confirmed this past April thinking that I needed it to get married. My priest told me that confirmation is not necessary to get married in the church. All you need is to be baptized and I believe you must have had your communion. I asked him because the day we went to set our date at our church, I found out that FH was not confirmed. Our priest was no worries. If your church is being very strict, from my understanding it could be that the priests in charge are of the old school....HTH

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Posted by Spring143

Thanks to everyone who responded. Its nice to know I'm not alone.
This is the church I grew up in and the church that my parents go to and volunteer.
Its not that he doesn't want to do it its that he's never going to be able to make confirmation meetings. I had contacted a church close to our place and the priest was very nice and said he would have the confirmation committee contact me in a few weeks. I need a place which will work with his schedule. He leaves at 6:30 in the morning and now that its light out late-doesn't get home until 8ish. I wrote to him that I do not think that FH not receiving his confirmation should be an impediment to getting married in a catholic church. We shall see what he writes back. What happens if he isn't able to do it or complete it than what? Am I out of luck no wedding??!! I cant wait till may next year to find out ya know.
Its really funny because when we met with the deacon he was speaking to us if we wanted a mass or not. I asked who doesn't do masses he said interfaith couples. I had no idea that Jewish people could even get married in a church. He went on to telling me yes they can and they can even have a mass. But here I am with a catholic fiance and they are going to give me a hard time??!
I def will have to check out other churches. Hope they take me and will have my date. My family business deals with churches so Im sure I can get us married somewhere!!
Thanks for helping & listening.

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I just read this post....if he really wants to get confirmed, my church is a bit more flexible. They have a class during the week from like 7:30 to 8:30 pm, but they also have class on Sundays after church. We attend church at 10:30 am and we meet up at 11:30 for coffee and bagels and discuss the readings.

I had a few of my confirmation colleagues who could not make it during the week just make it to church on Sunday. And our catechists really worked with them in order to get them prepared for the sacrament. My church is St Thomas the apostle in West Hempstead. I actually will be volunteering for the RCIA classes this upcoming fall. Send me FM if he is really interested in doing his confirmation.

P.S. hello there date twin!!!

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Posted by NYYankeeGirl72

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Posted by Spring143

Thanks to everyone who responded. Its nice to know I'm not alone.
This is the church I grew up in and the church that my parents go to and volunteer.
Its not that he doesn't want to do it its that he's never going to be able to make confirmation meetings. I had contacted a church close to our place and the priest was very nice and said he would have the confirmation committee contact me in a few weeks. I need a place which will work with his schedule. He leaves at 6:30 in the morning and now that its light out late-doesn't get home until 8ish. I wrote to him that I do not think that FH not receiving his confirmation should be an impediment to getting married in a catholic church. We shall see what he writes back. What happens if he isn't able to do it or complete it than what? Am I out of luck no wedding??!! I cant wait till may next year to find out ya know.
Its really funny because when we met with the deacon he was speaking to us if we wanted a mass or not. I asked who doesn't do masses he said interfaith couples. I had no idea that Jewish people could even get married in a church. He went on to telling me yes they can and they can even have a mass. But here I am with a catholic fiance and they are going to give me a hard time??!
I def will have to check out other churches. Hope they take me and will have my date. My family business deals with churches so Im sure I can get us married somewhere!!
Thanks for helping & listening.

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I just read this post....if he really wants to get confirmed, my church is a bit more flexible. They have a class during the week from like 7:30 to 8:30 pm, but they also have class on Sundays after church. We attend church at 10:30 am and we meet up at 11:30 for coffee and bagels and discuss the readings.

I had a few of my confirmation colleagues who could not make it during the week just make it to church on Sunday. And our catechists really worked with them in order to get them prepared for the sacrament. My church is St Thomas the apostle in West Hempstead. I actually will be volunteering for the RCIA classes this upcoming fall. Send me FM if he is really interested in doing his confirmation.

P.S. hello there date twin!!!

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In addition, FHs church (St. Bernard's Levittown) has RCIA classes Sunday Morning from 9-10:15 am, and then the class goes to mass at 10:30 AM.. but it may not be a problem for you, so try not to stress over it