getting really annoyed

so I've been hearing through the grapevine that one of the GMs has been complaining quite a bit about the wedding. It's one of my good friends from childhood that I asked FH to put in the BP. He agreed and he is in.

These are GMs two complaints:

1) That he is not getting invited w/ 'and guest.' We are only inviting people that are dating someone/in a relationship/etc. with a guest. We simply cannot afford to do otherwise. I explained this to him, but he continues to complain to other people.

Mind you, he will be one of the guests who knows the MOST amount of others there.


2) I have known his family forever and they have always been very kind and generous to me; therefore, I am inviting them. He is mad that they are invited, because now he 'has to party' in front of his family. Is it just me or is that really juvenile?!?!?!

Mind you, there will be 300 people there. He could choose to avoid his family.

I can't even talk to him about it all--unless he brings it up again-- b/c I don't want to get the 'messenger' in trouble (the friend who told me).

The real kicker: He was one of the ONLY people to NOT give us an Engagement Party gift. He said he 'didn't have the money, but would give it to us next week' (our e-party was in July). He constantly goes out in the city and buys expensive clothes.

SO MAD.

in regards to the first issue, not inviting him with a guest, i understand where you are coming from. i didn't include any of the GM with guest because none of them date anyone. then when i was speaking to some of the guys they took offense to it. so i asked my mom her opinion & she said i was wrong. you have to realize that a wedding celebrates people coming together, & to invite someone without a guest, when the majority of the people at the wedding are couples, is kind of a slap in the face. to the guys its like saying, your alone & know the world can see that.

as for inviting his family, its really your decision. if he is uncomfortable 'having a good time' with his family there maybe you should remind him that it is a wedding celebration & you hope that everyone can have a nice time in a responsible manner.

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Posted by christine2010

in regards to the first issue, not inviting him with a guest, i understand where you are coming from. i didn't include any of the GM with guest because none of them date anyone. then when i was speaking to some of the guys they took offense to it. so i asked my mom her opinion & she said i was wrong. you have to realize that a wedding celebrates people coming together, & to invite someone without a guest, when the majority of the people at the wedding are couples, is kind of a slap in the face. to the guys its like saying, your alone & know the world can see that.

as for inviting his family, its really your decision. if he is uncomfortable 'having a good time' with his family there maybe you should remind him that it is a wedding celebration & you hope that everyone can have a nice time in a responsible manner.

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mmmm...I thought about the first issue a lot lately b/c I have some cousins who aren't in relationships but I realized the point is not their relationships. The point to me is that my wedding guests will be close friends and family, not strangers that one of my male cousins randomly is kinda seeing. I'm still in the air about that one.

As for the first issue, I 100% understand where your coming from. I am doing something similar but for the bridal party i'm making an exception, they are allowed to w/guest.

As for inviting his family, tell him to get over it lol. I have 3 different friends whom I'm inviting their entire immediate family to the wedding b/c like you said, they have done a lot for me. That is my decision and if any of my friends had a problem with it I would really tell them that they have to get over it. In a nice way of course.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

As for the guest remark-not for nothing but he's going to be with the bridal party the majority of the day, even if he found some chick to bring, she's going to feel really uncomfortable if she doesn't know anyone AND he's not at her side. FH was in his brothers wedding and I attended as a guest and even though we had been dating 2 years and his family considered me family, I felt weird when he wasn't sitting next to me in the church, or the drive there, or during the cocktail hour, etc. Granted I knew almost everyone at the wedding, but tell him to imagine how it would feel to be a 'guest' that no one really knows thats all by herself. Besides that, I'm sure you have single girlfriends that will be there that he can dance and mingle with. Do you know who he's walking down the aisle with? is she single? are they friends? you should all get together one day and suggest they accompany each other to the wedding 'as dates' make it sound like a joke, just to plant the seed.

and as for the family invite- he needs to get over that. If he can't act like himself in front of his family, then who is he really? Tell him its too late, you've already invited them, how would it look if you called and said 'just kidding'...

and lastly, with the e-party gift- a friend of ours showed up late with just an empty card, we were kind of shocked, we knew he was having some financial issues, but it wasn't a huge thing.. it was more like one week he had too much money (and would spend it) and the next week his paycheck was smaller and he would scrape to get by... he's just not all that responsible with money. we never brought it up to him, why make ourselves feel uncomfortable and him feel bad. its water under the bridge... if it happens at the wedding- then say something, but if it bothers you that much.. (which I just remembered you said he 'wastes' money on petty things) then next time you see him wearing a new shirt just joke and say 'you know for the price you paid for that shirt I paid double that per person at our e-party' (even if its not true).

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Posted by Clover23

wow... selfish much??? (him obvs, not you!)

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that is so selfish!!

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Posted by MrsHazel2B

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Posted by christine2010

in regards to the first issue, not inviting him with a guest, i understand where you are coming from. i didn't include any of the GM with guest because none of them date anyone. then when i was speaking to some of the guys they took offense to it. so i asked my mom her opinion & she said i was wrong. you have to realize that a wedding celebrates people coming together, & to invite someone without a guest, when the majority of the people at the wedding are couples, is kind of a slap in the face. to the guys its like saying, your alone & know the world can see that.

as for inviting his family, its really your decision. if he is uncomfortable 'having a good time' with his family there maybe you should remind him that it is a wedding celebration & you hope that everyone can have a nice time in a responsible manner.

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mmmm...I thought about the first issue a lot lately b/c I have some cousins who aren't in relationships but I realized the point is not their relationships. The point to me is that my wedding guests will be close friends and family, not strangers that one of my male cousins randomly is kinda seeing. I'm still in the air about that one.

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I thought about it to, but at the end of the day, I have about 100-150 guests that are single and I would need to invite with 'and guest.' That's 100-150 people I don't know, and in bigger terms that's $9,000 to $15,000 extra bucks on people I don't know.

ugh, he sounds extremely selfish.. sorry you have to deal with this!

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Posted by StaceyWill

I'm so sorry you're mad...but just remember-there's always going to be someone that complains about something. I know it's hard, but just try to let it roll off your back.

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SO true! You can't please 'em all!