Getting Stiffed...how to handle

We just got back from our hm yesterday & I went over our gifts again vs. the guest list & see now that 4 people are unaccounted for.....BUT we have 1 card w/ NO writing on it at all, but the day after I had wrote the amounts on the back of the card, so I have the amount written, but no name at all.

Then the next person is my mom's sister (my aunt) who would definitely NOT EVER go someplace w/o giving a git (could the blank card be hers, could card have been misplaced?)

Next person is my good friend who showed up a bit flustered (just b4 mass started) & she's 6 months pregnant & not very organized...she wouldn't stiff us either....

Last person is DH (wow, fun to say that) supervisor at work who DH swears he saw a card from him.

My q is, how do I handle this? Do I ask people straight out? My mom was going to call her sister but how embarrassing.

How would you handle?

Thanks so much.

I wouldn't call anyone personally. You would sound like you were either begging or mad/offended.


That said, my DH SWORE that 3 friends gave him envelopes/cards at the wedding. 3 weeks later, we received a gift from our registry from one, a call from another saying he got home and still had it and a call from another saying he'd just ordered it off our registry. I'd wait it out....and I definitely wouldn't call. There's no good way to come off to the other person when you call about a gift not received.

i agree...no phone calls necessary. simply send TY cards to those guests you aren't sure about, thanking them for their attendance, and enjoying your day with you.

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Posted by SweetCin704

We just got back from our hm yesterday & I went over our gifts again vs. the guest list & see now that 4 people are unaccounted for.....BUT we have 1 card w/ NO writing on it at all, but the day after I had wrote the amounts on the back of the card, so I have the amount written, but no name at all.

Then the next person is my mom's sister (my aunt) who would definitely NOT EVER go someplace w/o giving a git (could the blank card be hers, could card have been misplaced?)

Next person is my good friend who showed up a bit flustered (just b4 mass started) & she's 6 months pregnant & not very organized...she wouldn't stiff us either....

Last person is DH (wow, fun to say that) supervisor at work who DH swears he saw a card from him.

My q is, how do I handle this? Do I ask people straight out? My mom was going to call her sister but how embarrassing.

How would you handle?

Thanks so much.

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When they see that their check has not cleared maybe they will call you? I knew the people that stiffed us actually stiffed us. It was not a case of misplaced anything, I did not call them on it & have not really spoken to most of them since (some I have to, as they are ILs).

Hey Cindy welcome back!

I agree, I wouldn't say anything... it gets too weird. If those peolple gave you checks and they see they were not cashed, chances are they will say something to you.
Otherwise just send a thank you card with no mention of a gift, maybe that will trigger something with them too, and then they will bring it up with you.

Call them? No way! Let it go. Some people will send a gift after..it happens more often than you would think.

We continued to get gifts after the fact. When you write your thank yous just thank them for sharing your day. If it ever comes up, then you should discuss it, say if your aunt says why didn't you cash the wedding check.

Unfortunately, you cannot ask. I doubt you got stiffed. It will all work out.

I have to say dont call!

Me and FH went to a wedding early last month and realized yesterday that the check had not cleared...knowing I gave it to FH to give to them! I dont know if FH forgot-he cant remember if he gave it to them-me personally i feel horrible if they didnt get it...so we are calling them to find out...big woops on my part for giving it to FH!!!

Thanks ladies, we're going to go through the cards again....I just hate that the one card w/ the cash has no name on it, no handwriting at all, so I have no idea who of the 4 it is from (hence my reason for wanting to call) & one of the guests is a very close friend.....