I'm in a bridal party coming up this summer, and I was wondering about a gift. Several people have told me that if you're a bridesmaid, you aren't expected to give a gift bc you paid for shower, dress, hair, etc. At my wedding, only two of my bridesmaids gave gifts--the other ones just gave cards (but they were also in grad school and didn't have full time jobs yet)...yet all of the groomsmen were very generous in their gifts to DH and I...what is typical for a bridesmaid to give as a wedding gift to the bride and groom?
RitasEngaged
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Re: Gift from member of bridal party
I have never heard that you didn't have to give a gift.
mosh424
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Re: Gift from member of bridal party
Posted by RitasEngaged
I have never heard that you didn't have to give a gift.
same here, any wedding I have ever been in I have given a gift as well.
lila
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Re: Gift from member of bridal party
We got gifts from all of our bridesmaids (some were very very generous) and from half of our groomsmen (all were from OOT, and none were especially generous by NY standards).
I would absolutely include a card, and if you can afford to give a gift i would give one.
snowcat
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Re: Gift from member of bridal party
Thanks for your help--I have always given a gift as a member of a BP, but several people have told me that they don't, and I thought that was kind of strange....
here's the other thing- this bride is from oot, and attended my wedding w/ a date, and the gift didn't even cover the cost of one of their plates...now, DH and I are usually pretty generous--should we give more to her because I'm in the bridal party for her wedding (she wasn't in my BP)- she gave a little less than half of what DH and I normally give at a wedding- normally when we are guests, we try to match what others gave us at weddings, however I feel bad not giving more since I am a member of the BP--but I also don't want to insult her by giving her TRIPLE what she gave us....grrr- why is this so difficult???
LauraD419
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Re: Gift from member of bridal party
Generally I give more if I'm in the bridal party because I'd feel like they were a really really close friend or family member....JMO!
RitasEngaged
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Re: Gift from member of bridal party
Posted by snowcat
Thanks for your help--I have always given a gift as a member of a BP, but several people have told me that they don't, and I thought that was kind of strange....
here's the other thing- this bride is from oot, and attended my wedding w/ a date, and the gift didn't even cover the cost of one of their plates...now, DH and I are usually pretty generous--should we give more to her because I'm in the bridal party for her wedding (she wasn't in my BP)- she gave a little less than half of what DH and I normally give at a wedding- normally when we are guests, we try to match what others gave us at weddings, however I feel bad not giving more since I am a member of the BP--but I also don't want to insult her by giving her TRIPLE what she gave us....grrr- why is this so difficult???
I would take the amount she gave you and only give her maybe $50-$100 more since you are in the BP
snowcat
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Re: Gift from member of bridal party
I do too...but would it make her feel bad if I gave her a lot more for her wedding than she did for mine?
Espo22
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Re: Gift from member of bridal party
Posted by LauraD419
Generally I give more if I'm in the bridal party because I'd feel like they were a really really close friend or family member....JMO!
same here, we give a bit more if we're in the bridal party since we're so close to them
Espo22
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Re: Gift from member of bridal party
Posted by snowcat
I do too...but would it make her feel bad if I gave her a lot more for her wedding than she did for mine?
I dont think many people would feel bad about getting more money hahaha jk. Maybe give her just a little more since youre in the bp, you dont have to give alot more. But give what youre comfortable giving
ace730
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Re: Gift from member of bridal party
I don't think being in the bridal party excuses you from giving a gift. However, I do think that sometimes people in the bridal party might give less because of the extra expenses they have had to incur by being in the bridal party.
MrsL2010
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Re: Gift from member of bridal party
i've always given gifts if i was in the bridal party. i had never heard of not giving a gift if you were in the bridal party.
MD835
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Re: Gift from member of bridal party
our groomsmen were very generous but not the BMs - which is pretty surprising to us because I bought them their dresses and gave them gifts on top of that - they really didn't have to shell out much out of their pockets
in your case, i would recommend giving a gift even if ur bride didn't pay for your dress
RockysGirl
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Re: Gift from member of bridal party
i never heard of the Bridal Party not giving a gift, but I guess that makes sense. The only person I'm really not expecting to give anything is the bestman, who's flying in for the event. An airline ticket is already enough money, not to mention he's gotta get the tux and all that. So yeah, i definitely wouldn't want him to give any more. But every wedding I've been in (whether I was the Maid of Honor or Bridesmaid) I always gave something in the card!
kellylee418
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Re: Gift from member of bridal party
I agree with some of the others... Give them just a little bit more than what they gave you. That is completely ok to do. I would expect to get the same amount that we gave other people for their weddings when it comes my turn.
KittyGags
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Re: Gift from member of bridal party
I was in one where I didn't give a gift and I don't feel bad about it!!!
A-It was my brothers and I was young (out of college but working P/T still)
B-My mom & dad gave a big enough gift to cover me (significant)
C-I threw her shower (paid for by US, not her mom/family)
D-We paid our own dresses, shoes, hair & makeup
E-They're divorced now!
So theres another POV!
I would never do that now, I would just give what you feel is appropriate...is double what she gave you enough?
