gifts

do you give what you get or what you can afford? for example, a friends wedding - we will most likely give $350 b/c they are close with fh's family. but for a co-worker i'd give less. and if i give $200 to a co-worker, i'd expect the same back.

what are the rules here? are their rules

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Posted by princessofci

I always thought you were supposed to cover your plate, plus a little more. Of course I do not expect to get that, but that is what I have been told.

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i've heard that too, but i think now, its more socially acceptable to give what you can. like if a couple chose a place thats $250 a head, i wouldn't give them $500, especially if its a co-worker or distant relative

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Posted by smm2675

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Posted by princessofci

I always thought you were supposed to cover your plate, plus a little more. Of course I do not expect to get that, but that is what I have been told.

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i've heard that too, but i think now, its more socially acceptable to give what you can. like if a couple chose a place thats $250 a head, i wouldn't give them $500, especially if its a co-worker or distant relative

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i agree 100%. if some picks an expensive place, they can't expect people to cover there plate. u don't know what peoples finanical situations are

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Posted by Happybride2005

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Posted by smm2675

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Posted by princessofci

I always thought you were supposed to cover your plate, plus a little more. Of course I do not expect to get that, but that is what I have been told.

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i've heard that too, but i think now, its more socially acceptable to give what you can. like if a couple chose a place thats $250 a head, i wouldn't give them $500, especially if its a co-worker or distant relative

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i agree 100%. if some picks an expensive place, they can't expect people to cover there plate. u don't know what peoples finanical situations are

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right thats why i said i dont expect that. Personally my wedding is over $250 pp..I do not expect anywhere near that! I honestly dont expect much...go with what you feel is right..what would you like someone to give to you

We went to a wedding at Oheka in May! We gave them $300. That is what we could afford and I am sure it did not even cover one of our plates. You get what you get and you don't get upset! That's it!
I tend to give family members and close friends more if I have it.

We tend to give family and close friends more, at least $300. Co-workers and acquaintances, we either purchase off the registry or give $200 or so. I think it depends on what you can give at the time. It's a gift and I don't think there should be requirements on the amount.

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Posted by princessofci

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Posted by Happybride2005

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Posted by smm2675

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Posted by princessofci

I always thought you were supposed to cover your plate, plus a little more. Of course I do not expect to get that, but that is what I have been told.

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i've heard that too, but i think now, its more socially acceptable to give what you can. like if a couple chose a place thats $250 a head, i wouldn't give them $500, especially if its a co-worker or distant relative

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i agree 100%. if some picks an expensive place, they can't expect people to cover there plate. u don't know what peoples finanical situations are

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right thats why i said i dont expect that. Personally my wedding is over $250 pp..I do not expect anywhere near that! I honestly dont expect much...go with what you feel is right..what would you like someone to give to you

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I agree, if someone is having an expensive wedding they should assume they are not getting back what they spend. With that in mind they are not inviting you becuase they think you are going to pay your plate but becuase they would like you to be there.

you give what you can, or rather, you extend yourself as far as you can, based on the closeness of the person. I always try to give at least $100 for myself (double if I am with fh) but for a close family member or friend, I'd save a little hard and give a little more.

generally, if it is within their means, it seems people give back what they receive from you. I guess you kind of make a mental note...

though it makes you wonder if people keep track of this (like written down somewhere)

It's such a touchy subject I agree like I said before that if it is $250 PP the bride and groom shouldn't expect it back.

I also agree about giving what you get...but I would also give more and not hold it against someone who doesn't have it.

It's tuff because if someone gave me $200 and I am paying for my own wedding (since I am) and then there wedding came along and they weren't paying for it I wouldn't give them more then what they gave me.

It all depends on the circumstances.