So there are a number of traditional wedding things that FH and I aren't doing and my mom is having a really hard time with it. I'm not wearing a blusher, we're not doing the garter/bo-k toss, we're not giving out hand outs, no chicken dance/conga line etc., and I keep hearing crap from her about it. It's really frustrating because this is how I want to do things - she doesn't understand that weddings are different now than they were in 1981 when she got married. I'm just tired of getting grief for everything I'm doing because it's not what's 'supposed to be done' at a wedding. Anyone else having issues with this too?
barbtony
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Re: Girls not doing 'traditional' wedding things
I've had some issues - but its not their wedding - its ours - and that's usually my response.
ETA - We are paying for it ourselves - so no one really should have anything to say. It may be different if you're getting help from the parents though.
miamimerger
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Re: Girls not doing 'traditional' wedding things
I didn't do most of the traditions. My mom was a little heartbroken when I didn't wear a veil, but I think all of those upsets go away once the day arrives--once she sees the big picture, she won't even be thinking about what's 'not there' .
SoontobeMrs.Brown
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Re: Girls not doing 'traditional' wedding things
We arent doing any of that stuff either ... I feel like that stuff is so antiquated. Just not our style ... but thats JMO. This is your wedding - do it the way you and FH want to do it. Dont listen to or get pressured by anyone (even family) ... At the end of the day the two of you need to be happy!!!!
MrsSx2
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Re: Girls not doing 'traditional' wedding things
I wasn't planning on a Bo-k or garter toss, but my BM's are pushing me for it. I just think the garter toss is awkward. I dont mind a bo-k toss as much, but then you're expected to do the garter toss too (ehhhhhh).
I say hold your ground on this one! You don't wanna look back and think your wedding was 'hokey' because your mom forced you to do things you didn't wanna do! JMO!
laulac98
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Re: Girls not doing 'traditional' wedding things
Oh, I definitely am holding my ground lol There's no way people will be conga lining around my wedding with blow up guitars and leis lol. It's just not our thing. I just want her to be happy with what we're not doing being like 'oh well are you at least going to cut the cake?'
barbtony
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Re: Girls not doing 'traditional' wedding things
Posted by laulac98
Oh, I definitely am holding my ground lol There's no way people will be conga lining around my wedding with blow up guitars and leis lol. It's just not our thing. I just want her to be happy with what we're not doing being like 'oh well are you at least going to cut the cake?'
You are never going to make everyone happy - just worry about yourself and FH for just that one day!
HTH
Becca2010
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Re: Girls not doing 'traditional' wedding things
My Mom loves the idea of a more modern wedding. She would rather I don't do the bouquet/garter toss, but I want to, but I'm not wearing a blusher and she's super happy about that.
FMIL, on the other hand, says my BoK SHOULD be all white and the limos should be white along with a few other things.
My Bok will have color in it. The limos are black
Can't wait for her reaction when she sees I'm not wearing a blusher!
dctead
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Re: Girls not doing 'traditional' wedding things
Oh I definately hear it...
I'm not doing programs, no veil, def no chicken dance... no garter/bo-k...
but FH and I are paying for the wedding...
And I found that they all shut up when I tell them that 'if they want an opinion I will listen too, then they have to pay for it.'
I didn't wear a blusher I didn't do the bouquet/garter thing I didn't do any organized dances I didn't do an anniversary dance or ask the DJ to give out the centerpieces I didn't have handouts We also didn't have a bp. We had to have witnesses stand for us at the church so we had my sis and DH's father. And there were no introductions at the RH..My DJ just introduced us. The father daughter dance was immediately after the first dance (rather than at the end of the night). We didn't have a toast either.
I had several people say that they loved what I did. I wouldn't change anything. Just do what you want.
CarolAnn721
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Re: Girls not doing 'traditional' wedding things
1981??? My parents were married in 1966. Their wedding cost $500 total. Their wedding was a lot different than mine will be and from all my siblings that were married along the way.
But I am the youngest by a long shot and I think they gave up their fight when it came to me.
Don't stress. Do things your way and have no regrets.
ourwedding9510
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Re: Girls not doing 'traditional' wedding things
I learned to just brush it off and just yes my parents to death. We are naming out tables different stadiums since we are both HUGE sports fans and incorporating some sports into the wedding but being VERY subtle. WELL, my parents keep calling it a Bat Mitzvah instead of a wedding. I just stopped telling them things and when they ask or give opinion I just say ok or yes and move on. It's EXTREMELY frustrating and annoying but FH and I like it and to me that's what matters at this point!
JayBee216
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Re: Girls not doing 'traditional' wedding things
I'm not doing any of these things - my brother's wedding had all of the things mentioned above and it was HORRIBLE. My 13 year old cousin caught the garter (he didn't understand what it was for) and then the girl who caught the bouquet was older and was like dirty dancing - it was MORTIFYING.
I'm not going to play athe traditional conga line song, but I've already been told that a 'Soul Train' will form, no matter what song is played!!! I'm just going with the flow!
Noelsgirl
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Re: Girls not doing 'traditional' wedding things
I had that same issue. That's why I listened to no one. The wedding was done my way and I am glad! it turned out fabulous!! I even saw the groom before the ceremony!!
FutureCap
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Re: Girls not doing 'traditional' wedding things
bottom line... ITS YOUR WEDDING! my mom is trying to guilt me into wearing a tiar... and its just not my thing, i told her to stop cause its not happening.
