Girls with divorced parents

to be honest i dont think its really disrespectful to your dad. its one thing if you werent inviting her...maybe that would be wrong since he is marrying her and all but other than that, she has nothing to do with you.

plus, she knows and so does your dad the situation (that he left your mom for her ) so wouldnt it be crazy for her or even your dad to think that she should be included

My parents are divorced (since I was 13 too) and my father is married to the woman he was with since a month after the divorce (they've been married 15 years). She's my step mother and as much a part of the family as anyone.

My mom is remarried, but she didn't remarry until 6 years ago. It was awkward for a very, very long time, and my mom still doesn't like my step-mom or get along with her or anything, but that's the way it is.

You say your father is engaged to this woman -- how long have they been engaged? Are they really going to get married? Is this woman for all intents and purposes your step mother?

Do you have any siblings? Are your mothers' parents living?

Not knowing more about your family than you told us here, it sounds like you should be introducing your father and his to-be wife. She has been in your lives for a very long time. If you're having introductions at all, it would be an affront to your father not to introduce him with his partner.

If you have other people, like siblings or grand parents, who can be introduced with your mother, this is a great option because she won't feel alone. However, introducing your mother herself would allow her to shine, and get the applause and attention she deserves as your wonderful loving mother. She can enter with triumph and be proud of how she has raised you and the wonderful celebration you are having. If anything, she gets to star alone -- not even the bride or groom do that!

Perhaps she could get comfortable with that idea. I'm sure you can split up the introductions in a way that she won't feel like a third-wheel to your father and his fiancee.

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Posted by MrsSoto

to be honest i dont think its really disrespectful to your dad. its one thing if you werent inviting her...maybe that would be wrong since he is marrying her and all but other than that, she has nothing to do with you.

plus, she knows and so does your dad the situation (that he left your mom for her ) so wouldnt it be crazy for her or even your dad to think that she should be included

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ITA, I have a similar situation, and my dad will NOT be walking out with his girlfriend.

I'm in a very similar situation. My Dad is recently married to the woman he left my mother for. (parents have been apart about 6 years). I've only met her once, years ago, and have had no interest in ever having any kind of relationship with her. I've managed to keep up a relationship with my dad although we aren't as close as we once were. My dad was upset when I said he couldn't bring her to my engagement party. He said even though she's not part of my life, she is part of his life. I said understand that but it just wouldn't be fair to my mother (she has not moved on and would go ballistic) plus I don't want her there. My dad said he wouldn't come to the party but ended up coming.

I know some people may say if she's a step mother she should come, but she is not a part of my life and my family. I would say do what you want to do. I think your Dad should understand the situation and realize why it may be difficult for him to enter the room with his GF or wife. It's your day and your parents should be respectful of that. I explained to my dad while he may view it as disrespectful that I said his wife cannot come, he needs to understand my point of view and that any wedding events are not the right time to try to bring her around.

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Posted by KrisD72310

Oh man, I definitely understand what you're going through on this one! I posted about this a few months ago. My mom got remarried 2 years ago and my dad is dating, a (word I probably can't write on here). I didn't want my dad being introduced with her and wanted my parents coming out together. My mom absolutely refused to walk out with my dad. To be honest with you, I think that at this point I may choose not to do parent introductions and just the BP because of the drama this has caused. So unfortunate when you have to go through this stuff. I wish everyone would just **** it up to make us happy.

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I never though of just having the bridal party introduced without parents....but would that be disrespecting FH's parent???

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Posted by Ivansgirl

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Posted by KrisD72310

Oh man, I definitely understand what you're going through on this one! I posted about this a few months ago. My mom got remarried 2 years ago and my dad is dating, a (word I probably can't write on here). I didn't want my dad being introduced with her and wanted my parents coming out together. My mom absolutely refused to walk out with my dad. To be honest with you, I think that at this point I may choose not to do parent introductions and just the BP because of the drama this has caused. So unfortunate when you have to go through this stuff. I wish everyone would just **** it up to make us happy.

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I never though of just having the bridal party introduced without parents....but would that be disrespecting FH's parent???

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My FH just has him mom bc his dad passed away 4 years ago and she's so easygoing. I don't know if I'll really be able to do it, but it was suggested to me on here. Some girls said they don't even introduce the BP. I'm thinking the MC can say something like, before we introduce our BP we'd like to congratulate the parents of our bride and groom, and say their names. They can just be standing at the edge of the dance floor or something as we come in. I think I may really do this.

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Posted by DWKSwed

I don't think that your dad's fiancee needs to be introduced. If your mom is uncomfortable with her (which she has good reason to be) then I think you should have your mom and dad introduced together as the father and mother of the bride. I've seen it done all different ways at weddings for people who are divorced and especially if your mother doesn't have an escort then it would be even more uncomfortable for her. I think you should present it as 'this is the way I want it' and they will all respect your wishes. This other woman is not related to you and as much as it's your day and not your mom's, I think we all know how it is really big for her too and she shouldn't be put in a bad position. Sorry to those who disagree but it's just my opinion.

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I appreciate your opinion I do I am just trying to figure out the best solution and you all are helping me greatly by having me see it from other perspectives.

Your dads gf did not raise you... therefore,

If they can and are willing, I WOULD introduce your mom and dad together. Thats all....


by thats just me... and I know some parents wont, cant , etc

Are your parents civil? Can they walk in together being introduced as 'the parents of the bride???'

That's what I'm doing. Neither of my parents are remarried, but they are both dating. And they are NOT walking in with their significant others. They will be introduced into my reception as 'The parents of the bride, Donald & Linda.' I'm not going to announce the name.

Remind both of your parent that this is FOR YOU, NOT THEM. They don't have to be introduced as Mr & Mrs. So ask them to grow up for a day and be adults. I told my parents that if they cannot be civil with one another on the day of my wedding, they can stay home. And they know I'm serious.

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Posted by Lsorrent

Are your parents civil? Can they walk in together being introduced as 'the parents of the bride???'

That's what I'm doing. Neither of my parents are remarried, but they are both dating. And they are NOT walking in with their significant others. They will be introduced into my reception as 'The parents of the bride, Donald & Linda.' I'm not going to announce the name.

Remind both of your parent that this is FOR YOU, NOT THEM. They don't have to be introduced as Mr & Mrs. So ask them to grow up for a day and be adults. I told my parents that if they cannot be civil with one another on the day of my wedding, they can stay home. And they know I'm serious.

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I remember you giving me the same advice Unfortunately though, I think that some parents can just be extremely stubborn. I wish my mom would **** it up like yours!

ETA: Ivan's girl: Do you think your parents would walk in together?

Also, what's wrong with the word ****? What if I wanted to **** a lollipop. I can't **** a lollipop on LIW??

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Posted by KrisD72310

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Posted by Lsorrent

Are your parents civil? Can they walk in together being introduced as 'the parents of the bride???'

That's what I'm doing. Neither of my parents are remarried, but they are both dating. And they are NOT walking in with their significant others. They will be introduced into my reception as 'The parents of the bride, Donald & Linda.' I'm not going to announce the name.

Remind both of your parent that this is FOR YOU, NOT THEM. They don't have to be introduced as Mr & Mrs. So ask them to grow up for a day and be adults. I told my parents that if they cannot be civil with one another on the day of my wedding, they can stay home. And they know I'm serious.

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I remember you giving me the same advice Unfortunately though, I think that some parents can just be extremely stubborn. I wish my mom would **** it up like yours!

ETA: Ivan's girl: Do you think your parents would walk in together?

Also, what's wrong with the word ****? What if I wanted to **** a lollipop. I can't **** a lollipop on LIW??

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there is no way my parents will walk in together.,,,, Thanks for all you help girl I am going to sleep on all of it.

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Posted by Ivansgirl

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Posted by KrisD72310

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Posted by Lsorrent

Are your parents civil? Can they walk in together being introduced as 'the parents of the bride???'

That's what I'm doing. Neither of my parents are remarried, but they are both dating. And they are NOT walking in with their significant others. They will be introduced into my reception as 'The parents of the bride, Donald & Linda.' I'm not going to announce the name.

Remind both of your parent that this is FOR YOU, NOT THEM. They don't have to be introduced as Mr & Mrs. So ask them to grow up for a day and be adults. I told my parents that if they cannot be civil with one another on the day of my wedding, they can stay home. And they know I'm serious.

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I remember you giving me the same advice Unfortunately though, I think that some parents can just be extremely stubborn. I wish my mom would **** it up like yours!

ETA: Ivan's girl: Do you think your parents would walk in together?

Also, what's wrong with the word ****? What if I wanted to **** a lollipop. I can't **** a lollipop on LIW??

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there is no way my parents will walk in together.,,,, Thanks for all you help girl I am going to sleep on all of it.

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So sorry you have to go through this. I know how hard it is. Let us know what you decide to do because unfortunately I think there are plenty of us in the same boat.

My mom is a widow and has been remarried for several years. While I love my stepdad, I did not appreciate the fact that she kept insisting that my stepdad give me away and be announced as my parent. She insisted that they be announced though even when we weren't going to do BP introductions.

I made it super, super clear to the DJ's to announce them as 'the family of the bride'. This is something that we went over about a dozen times with the dj and reminded him the day of. They were still introduced as 'the parents of the bride' the day of and it wasn't the end of the world. I just wanted to remain respectful to my father and would have preferred it the other way.

My mom didn't know how she was going to be announced. Of course, she kept saying 'And the parents of the bride...' but I yes'd her. The day of she would have hardly noticed.

as a future step Mother, this thread makes me sad


I also want you to keep in mind, not all SMs are home wreckers and there are two sides to every story.

I 'm sad just one of you is civil with your SM.

Remember, she did not grow up wishing to be a SM and some of you if given your SM a chance might like her.

I'd be devastated if my SDs didn't introduce me...but they like me and their SF so I guess it's fine for us...

I know every story is different...just voicing another opinion...