Long story short----one of my BM's is a long time family friend. She had asked me to be in her wedding party last year sometime. So, of course, I happily obliged and then counter-offered for her to be a part of mine.
However, it was recently discovered that her FH would also like my FH to be in his GM party (they do not know each other AT ALL, and have only met twice----I don't know him either--I have met him the same two times). FH and I think this is VERY strange, since nobody really knows him....but my FH will of course, put a smile on his face and be a part of his GM party.
Here's the question----do we now have to have HIM as part of our bridal party?? We both feel that our bridal party should be our closest friends/family and that's it.....but would we be breaking an 'etiquitte' of some sort by not counter-offering a position in OUR wedding party???
Any help you girls can offer will be truly appreciated. I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place in this situation and we're not quite sure what to do. TIA!!!!
brooklynbridezilla
Posted:
Member since
Re: GM/BM Question---Weird, but true.....(X-Post)
Moosey, that IS odd. Given the situation, I think they asked your FH to be polite, not realizing it might be awkward. Do you think they would be offended if you didn't ask your Bm's FH? Is there any way you could make a discreet inquiry?
nylibride
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Re: GM/BM Question---Weird, but true.....(X-Post)
I don't know if you were a Seinfeld fan, but what this guy is doing is clearly 'level jumping.'
It is really odd. Although maybe a little awkward for some moment in time, I agree with you that the people in your bridal party should be those you are closest with. It sounds like it would be uncomfortable to add someone who you and fh have only met less than a handful of times.
I think any sane person would understand someone who you don't really know not reciprocating the wedding party invitation.
good luck. Keep us posted...
Moosey911
Posted:
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Re: GM/BM Question---Weird, but true.....(X-Post)
I don't think they would be 'offended', but I'm not sure if it's now 'expected.' Honestly, even if they were to get offended, in the end---it's our wedding day and we're only having our closest friends/family in our party--and they'll just have to deal, BUT, I would feel MUCH better knowing that it's not reasonable for them to 'expect' a position in our party just because my FH is in theirs. Did that make any sense? I'm not sure---lol, I guess my question is a simple one---if you or your FH were in another bridal party, did you feel as though you HAD to have that person in yours? And is there a certain wedding 'etiquitte' that should be applied in this case???
Moosey911
Posted:
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Re: GM/BM Question---Weird, but true.....(X-Post)
'level jumping?' sounds interesting---I'll have to research that---I'm going to assume it means 'leveling/evening' the numbers in the bridal party???
Borricuamorena0905
Posted:
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Re: GM/BM Question---Weird, but true.....(X-Post)
you know, some folks don't have alot of friends and maybe he didn't have that many to put in.. SO jus figured, since you are in it, then that will give him someone also....
There's so many reasons why things are done... If you say your friend is a long time friend, adk her and tell her how u are feeling...
I don't think you would be wrong fro not putting him in ur wedding because ur FH was asked to be in his.
takeoutcook
Posted:
Member since
Re: GM/BM Question---Weird, but true.....(X-Post)
I remember the 'level jumping' episode!!! it's when a person jumps to the next level of commitment/emotional attachment in a friendship.
I wouldnt feel badly about not asking this guy to be in FH's wedding party. I'm not asking some of the women who I've been a BM for years ago. . . and FH has been a GM so many times that he can't ask all the guys.
