Godparents????

This is a HUGE dilema right now with me
The one person I always thought would be my first child's godmother has not spoken to me since I became pregnant.

Sorry Dani

I had my sister and BIL


ETA: Dani...I just read your edit. That's terrible, but I guess better this happened now thatn after you had asked them to be a godparent

This is now my dilema-I am an only child but was very close to my Aunt who is only 5 yrs older than me. She is having problems ttc and I guess since I became pregnant so easily and before her she became pretty resentlful of me. Well DH does not want her to be the Godmother since she hasn't made any efforts to talk to me since I told my family I was pregnant.

Now, my best friend does not beleive in God, however...she is a true companion to me. She calls me after every doctor's appt to see how it went, she even offered to come to lamaze classes with me if my husband can't make some. She has bought outfits for the baby, goes maternity clothes shopping with me, and just truley cares about me and my pregnancy.
I know you need one Godparent to be Catholic and my BIL is (he'll be the Godfather) so I am pretty torn.

Sorry so long...

Personally, I'd definately go with the friend who has been there for you.

I'm so sorry about this. It's terrible she can't put her personal feelings on the backburner to be supportive of you. It's not like you went out purposely to get pregnant to spite her. It's really so sad and I know she will eventually realize her loss and lack of judgement.

Again:

I think you need to decide what being a godparent means to you. Some people think of them as 'family politics', others are just a nice honor and others think of them as people who should help your child grow spirtually. It was very important to me that the people we chose believed in God and Jesus and Church. Now I am NOT a book-Catholic (meaning I am pro-choice, pro gay/lesbian marriage etc..) but I do believe very strongly in God and Jesus and the mother Mary.
I chose my best friend of over 20 years. Scott chose his brother. My sister was VERY hurt that I didn't chose her, but I felt that our religious differences mattered in this case.
It really needs to feel right to you. It is not easy since people's feelings do tend to get hurt over these things.

(Dani- you should speak to your aunt. maybe talking about all of this can help you find your way back to one other)

I chose family because my parents chose close friends for me and they had a falling out when I was still young and now I don't have any godparents.

We picked my brother & his sister (Who I know regret her as Godmother)

If or when we have another we are going to choose REALLY carefully!!!

Dani-If I were you I would choose the friend!!

Dani,

I dont' know what you should do are you sure that is the reason she is upset? Did you tell her or did she find out through the grape vine?

chose my SIL ( jewish) and my Bro. ( catholic)
we had a welcoming ceremony where Julianne was blessed w. holy water by the monsigneur...and given her Hebrew name by the rabbi.

I think that my friend was secretly upset about not being chosen. ( I am her youngest childs godmother).
But i did not choose her because she is lackadaisicle about following thru on stuff..and I dont agree w her parenting style.
( she wound up not even coming to the ceremony or the restaurant ..and based her decision on a LAME excuse)

so...I dont know what to do once we have another child.. (maybe we will choose the SAME g-dparents)

I do not treat this title as just an honorary one..these people would be instrumental in the WHOLE development of my child...spiritually and physically

Sorry for sticking my nose in here. I don't have children but my FH and I have talked about this. We're both Italian and so traditionally we are supposed to ask the MOH and BM to be the godparents but my FH is opposed to having two separate people be godparents. I understand his point so I'm not looking to argue with him. Hopefully his brother will be engaged or married by the time our first child is born. In the meanwhile, after that we will be asking very close friends to be the godparents since there is no one left that we feel comfortable asking. My FH was asked to be godfather to his cousin's child and I can't tell you how bad we feel - he never sees the child. He's an accountant and so busy season takes him away for several months and then in general we're not that close. Meanwhile the godmother is there all the time. Seeing this - I would suggest asking the person who has been by your side and has taken an active interest. She sounds like a great person and I'm sure she'd be honored to be the godmother. We can't guarantee that we'll aways be friends but with all due respect family can disappoint you too.

Good luck!