going to be sick

i feel like i am drowning, trying to figure out how to pay for this wedding.

i wish FH had listened to me in January when i said i wanted to postpone the wedding until 2008.

i wish people would stop telling me that it's all going to be ok. what if it isn't? to me, having to ask my parents if we can borrow money at the last minute isn't ok.

i feel like i am going to throw up.

Take a deep breath.

Would it be so horrible if you have to borrow from your parents ? They would get it right back after the wedding.

Take a deep breath. I won't tell you it's all going to be OK because you're right, I don't know that for sure and it kind of bugs me when people say that to me, too. I'm sure you're under a lot of pressure to begin with since you just moved and have so much going on at the same time!

I always make myself feel better if I can be proactive about things. Have you written everything out in your budget in terms of what each item is going to cost? Can you figure out a few areas to scale back? Anything you can DIY instead of buying? Or maybe you picked a mid-grade package with a vendor and can bump down to a basic package? Guests don't notice these changes!!

Good luck!!!

no it wouldn't... and they have offered...

but they have already contributed a LOT, and of course FHs parents haven't given us a dime...



i know that ultimately FH and I are the ones responsible for paying for our wedding, and that's what frustrates me - not being able to do it, and him not seeming to care or worry like i do.

Sorry. I know, 'It's all going to be alright' doesn't actually make it all alright. Have you worked on a budget at all? Do you know, pretty much how close you are cutting it? The hall and the DJ must be paid before the wedding but usually video and photography will be willing to work with you and get paid the week after the wedding. This way (if you really have to) you can use the money you get from wedding gifts to pay them. Not the ideal situation but it will help in a pinch and that way you don't have to go to your parents for help. Good luck.

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Posted by cookiemonster

Take a deep breath. I won't tell you it's all going to be OK because you're right, I don't know that for sure and it kind of bugs me when people say that to me, too. I'm sure you're under a lot of pressure to begin with since you just moved and have so much going on at the same time!

I always make myself feel better if I can be proactive about things. Have you written everything out in your budget in terms of what each item is going to cost? Can you figure out a few areas to scale back? Anything you can DIY instead of buying? Or maybe you picked a mid-grade package with a vendor and can bump down to a basic package? Guests don't notice these changes!!

Good luck!!!

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i only have the basic package from the RH, no extras, and right now i am hoping to just make my minimum (125) to cut costs.

my other vendors don't need to be paid until right before the wedding and on the wedding day, fortunately, so the $$ we are saving now is ours until the end of september. it's really the RH i am worried about (the most $$).

thank you for the advice... right now the 'scaling back' i am doing is restricting myself to pb and j for breakfast lunch and dinner...

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Posted by twinkle164

Sorry. I know, 'It's all going to be alright' doesn't actually make it all alright. Have you worked on a budget at all? Do you know, pretty much how close you are cutting it? The hall and the DJ must be paid before the wedding but usually video and photography will be willing to work with you and get paid the week after the wedding. This way (if you really have to) you can use the money you get from wedding gifts to pay them. Not the idea situation but it will help in a pinch and that way you don't have to go to your parents for help. Good luck.

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maybe i can talk to my photographer (no $$ for video unfortunately). thanks for the advice

You are going to have a breakdown if you keep this up.
FH and I are paying for this wedding ourselves, but we have borrowed from his mom (my Dad has not contributed anything) so that we don't have to use the credit cards. She understands that she will get the money back right after the wedding, and I will make sure of that.

I keep the budget, and have done a really good job of staying within the limits.
If your parents are willing to lend you the money, please go ahead and take it. You are on the road to making yourself seriously sick.

LB ... Just take a deep Breath ..... try not to stress... Maybe we should go Grab a bear at Jackie Reillys soon ...

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Posted by LB and DC

no it wouldn't... and they have offered...

but they have already contributed a LOT, and of course FHs parents haven't given us a dime...



i know that ultimately FH and I are the ones responsible for paying for our wedding, and that's what frustrates me - not being able to do it, and him not seeming to care or worry like i do.

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I am in the same boat. I've already had to ask my parents to make my 2nd photo payment because we had so many weddings, birthdays, showers to go to, we had to dip into our wedding fund and I just didn't have it. I plan on paying them back for alot of the stuff they are going to wind up laying money out for (except the RH because they agreed to pay that from the beginning- we were going to pay for everything else...)

With what living costs are these days, its soooo hard to have the kind of money needed to throw the kind of wedding thats 'expected' by long islanders.

Hang in there- I'm sure your parents want to help, especially if you assure them that you will pay them back as soon as you can

And, I hear you about FHs parents not giving a cent...although, we are fortunate enough that she is paying for the RD. She did however get all huffy when I told FH that he forgot to include the RBs and FG and their parents (and she expects FBILs wives and girlfriends to pay for themselves- TACKY!!!!).

I am so sorry..........
Hang in there!

I feel your pain, too

I am stressing every night over the SAME things..

I am hoping I can work it out

I HATE THAT SAYING 'It will all work out'
I know people are trying to be nice, HOW WILL IT all work out???

Just try to see what you can come up with,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I feel EXACTLY the same way



Sometimes I have trouble sleeping because I'm up worrying about it.

i wish i could find an overnight job - i'm not sleeping anyway!

Oh boy! Take a deep breath and then a few shots of tequilla....

Are there things you haven't purchased yet? Anything that wasn't planned on being a DIY that you think you can do? So many great ideas on here!

Have you talked to vendors about paying cash vs. check or cc? A lot of mine eliminated the tax by doing this so its saving us tons of $$!
What about hair/makeup...any one talented thats close to you?

One way or another you are going to get through this and your day will be wonderful! I hated the idea of having to borrow money from anyone too but we've decided that if it comes to that, we ain't too proud to beg...lol!