Last night we were discussing the RD with FH parents..they live in Colorado so the planning will be left to us...his parents cry poverty every chance they get..yet they just had a house custom built from the ground up....and they gave us an ok budget .and I am very thankful for that..I suggested something either buffet style, pizza or having food and alchol brought to the house....My point was its the night before the wedding ..I would rather unwind a little and enjoy time with our wedding party and family ..versus a sit down fomal dinner ...being that we are having a formal wedding....apparently that makes me selfish...in FMIL eyes..and was told its not just what I want...Fh said he agreed with me but it turned into a nasty argument .....am I wrong to want to just relax ?? Now I feel horrible.and feel like it has to be what they want....
cherish83
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Re: Got accused of being bridezilla last night
Uh no.. and it is all about what you and your FH want and if agrees with you, there is now way i see that as selfish. I want to spend the night before with my family too. Nice and quiet!
rahana316
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Re: Got accused of being bridezilla last night
Why does family have to be so hard and selfish for YOUR wedding??? they dont know what's going on with you and they dont care that you want to unwinde before the big day.
Well I would just EXCATLY what you want. A quiet sit down with family. AND if FH agree with you, then there is nothing else to discuss.
FMIL needs a reality check. this is YOUR wedding and not ANYONE ELSE.
Sorry for being so harsh. People dont know what WE go through to have the most perfect day!!
catsgirl
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Re: Got accused of being bridezilla last night
NO, IT IS ABOUT WHAT YOU AND FH WANT, IT IS YOUR WEDDING, I WANT A CASUAL GET TOGETHER AS WELL,
sassygirl9
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Re: Got accused of being bridezilla last night
Ahhh!!! you know what she's just wants things her way. I hear a lot of girls on here have discussions like this with FMIL. It seems like when they feel they don't have much say in the wedding, they make a big deal about small things. Maybe she just wants to be able to make more decisions
kellybean
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Re: Got accused of being bridezilla last night
I figured she could pick the food etc....even the place if we went somewhere ...I just dont feel like a formal affair is needed the night before...and because of having half our bridal party from out of state..we cant really do it any other time....and it saves her $ which she always complains....
Chrissywish
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Re: Got accused of being bridezilla last night
One thing I can say about RD. Sometimes, with the bride's side (sometimes paying) but usually being more involved with the wedding planning, some parents feels as though the RD is their way to shine. I have actually seen this with two different weddings of people very close to me. They wanted to throw the nice formal sit down RD, because that is what their name was on so to say. So maybe look at it from that point of view and try to find a happy medium that you both will be pleased with.
kellybean
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Re: Got accused of being bridezilla last night
They werent willing to compromise at all...FH suggested a nice place but buffet instead of sit down so it was a little more relaxed...she actually said 'maybe you should watch bridezilla so you know what you are in for.'
dancinmyazoff
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Re: Got accused of being bridezilla last night
You are NOT a bridezilla at all so don't think that. I 100% agree with you. If they want the party how they want it then they should plan it themselves. Another bride on here was asking about having a casual RD and that was the exact reply I made 'your wedding is formal so use the RD as a more casual affair'.
Teamhurldon
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Re: Got accused of being bridezilla last night
Its not horrible at all, if anything youre sounding selfless by wanting something simple... we too are trying to do like a buffet style low cost thing as well... I don't blame you at all... It does get tough tho when people are paying for things, they feel its their way or no way.... hope it works out
TJ22908
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Re: Got accused of being bridezilla last night
I agree with you thats the same thing I want to do just have a relaxing night because the night before the wedding you will be stressed enough.
kellybean
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Re: Got accused of being bridezilla last night
FH and I are both Jeans and Tshirt people as well as most of our family and friends...I look at it as a chance to share the occasion with those closest to you.....and just relax and enjoy.....I really thought they would be happy about saving money....FH ended up screaming at his mom when she went off telling her she has no right to say anything negative about me...normally she dosent......should I just give in to make them happy?
redjasper32
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Re: Got accused of being bridezilla last night
Although its difficult at times, try not to stress about it. There is always a way to work around these situations, but no matter what although you can compromise here and there, they have to know that its what the bride and groom want. One thing for sure is that you have your guy on your side....Kudos!!!
kellybean
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Re: Got accused of being bridezilla last night
it also blows my mind that she even started that fight last night for a few reasons...1) its june and we are fighting about february 2) my son is going in for surgery tommmorow and she knows its got me very worried...
futuremrsfab
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Re: Got accused of being bridezilla last night
Sorry your FMIL already had her wedding.. it is nice that they are helping you with the RD- but it should be how you and your husband want it and i think you are being verrry un-bridezilla like by asking for something low key-- if they insist maybe you can do something more formal 2 days before the wedding instead of the day before- to give yourself more time to relax... hth
