Got into another fight with my mom last night!

I showed her two copies of the invitation wording last night. One had 'Mr and Mrs request the honour' and the other one read 'We request the honour'. She starts ranting about how tacky it is that we dont have FH's parents names on it. I told her they are not hosting it, and that quite frankly, I know his divorced father is not going to want his name anywhere near is exwife's name. Well, to make a long story short, she said it was in poor taste. Everywhere Im reading, it only lists the bride's parents name. Can anyone let me know what the proper etiquette is for a formal invitation before my mother drives me crazy?!

Technically (sp?), it is supposed to have who ever is hosting the party listed on there. But, I know that some people can get offended. My cousin and his wife had a similar problem. His parents did not chip in that much at all, but they did not want to insult them. They worded theirs:

Talin XXX and Becky XXX

together with their parents

request the honor ......

Maybe that would make your mom happy?

You can use whatever wording you want, regardless of who's paying or hosting. You may want to show your proposed invite wording to FH's parents, too.

My FH's parents are divorced and FFIL is pretty much out of the picture. Our first set of invitiations began like yours and had 'FH son of FMIL' in the middle. We didn't mention FFIL.

Invites are printed, we send an advance copy to FMIL. She flips out and says that FFIL and FFIL's sister will be insulted and may not come if we send invites with this wording. FH and FMIL decided to delete FMIL's name from the invite altoghther.

So now our re-printed invites have my parents names only. I look forward to some of my snide relatives thinking that my invite wording means that my parents are paying for the whole thing, which is far from the truth.

Don't know if this helps, but FH parents have had nothing to do with the planning of this wedding at all-They are basically going to be guests like everyone else-

So we worded it like this...

Mr. and Mrs. XXXX(my parents names)
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
MY NAME
To
FH NAME
Son of (then we listed his parents names)

Maybe this will help a bit...if not...I'm sorry

---

Posted by fall2005bride

Don't know if this helps, but FH parents have had nothing to do with the planning of this wedding at all-They are basically going to be guests like everyone else-

So we worded it like this...

Mr. and Mrs. XXXX(my parents names)
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
MY NAME
To
FH NAME
Son of (then we listed his parents names)

Maybe this will help a bit...if not...I'm sorry

---

I like this format. And as son of, do not put Mr. & Mrs. but put
son of John Smith & Mary Smith
which I think would clearly show that they are not together

My FH dad is not in the picture but his mom has a long term boyfriend, different last name and FH does not feel like this boyfriend is like a father to him. But FMIL wanted his name on it so what we did was:

My parents
together with
Ms. KM & Mr. JL
request the honour of your presence at the marriage of

Just some suggestions. Good luck!

I had my invitations worded to have my parents' names on them and not FH's because my dad is paying for it. If his parents were contributing, I would have put both sets of parents names. And if me and FH were paying for it there would be no parents names. Just my rule of thumb...
Sorry you have to be fighting with your mom.

Traditionally the hosts names are on the invite whether it be bride/groom or parents.

We are paying for everything but I wanted to include our parents names.

Ours will read like this:

MR. DAD XXXX AND MS. MOM (divorced with new last name)

INVITE YOU TO SHARE THEIR JOY AS THEIR DAUGHTER

Kdrainey

IS UNITED IN MARRIAGE WITH

FI

SON OF MR. FFIL AND THE LATE MRS. FMIL

ON DATE

TWO THOUSAND AND FIVE

AT TIME

Location

By the way, neither my parents nor his dad have asked to be listed on the invite.

---

Posted by fall2005bride

Don't know if this helps, but FH parents have had nothing to do with the planning of this wedding at all-They are basically going to be guests like everyone else-

So we worded it like this...

Mr. and Mrs. XXXX(my parents names)
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
MY NAME
To
FH NAME
Son of (then we listed his parents names)

Maybe this will help a bit...if not...I'm sorry

---

Yea, I like that

---

Posted by jimmysgrl

---

Posted by fall2005bride

Don't know if this helps, but FH parents have had nothing to do with the planning of this wedding at all-They are basically going to be guests like everyone else-

So we worded it like this...

Mr. and Mrs. XXXX(my parents names)
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
MY NAME
To
FH NAME
Son of (then we listed his parents names)

Maybe this will help a bit...if not...I'm sorry

---

Yea, I like that

---

thats how i did it...
and my parents are the ones paying for it
but its good to know who's son ur marrying, so then the older folks will know who's wedding they're invited to ya know?

---

Posted by fall2005bride

Don't know if this helps, but FH parents have had nothing to do with the planning of this wedding at all-They are basically going to be guests like everyone else-

So we worded it like this...

Mr. and Mrs. XXXX(my parents names)
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter
MY NAME
To
FH NAME
Son of (then we listed his parents names)

Maybe this will help a bit...if not...I'm sorry

---

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Will that work?

thats how i did it...
and my parents are the ones paying for it
but its good to know who's son ur marrying, so then the older folks will know who's wedding they're invited to ya know?

---

Exactly. Plus, this way they can figure out who's who - it's helpful to guests . . .

I put both sets of parents names b/c my mom and his parents were helping. I still put my dads name even though we dont even talk and he didnt contribute a penny. My parents are also divorced and didnt want there names next to eachother so this is how we worded it:

The honor of your presence is requested at the marriage of

Maxine April XxX

daughter of
Ms. Delores XxX

and

Mr. Arthur XxX

to

Giuseppe ZxXx

son of

Mr Antonino and Mrs. Serafina ZxXxX

My parents are hosting the event and since the inlaws are divorced we're keeping their names off the invite. They don't get along & like you said - just having their names in the same line will cause drama (especially w/the dingbat step dad who wants his name on it) ... plus it's sooo much wording.

My FMIL is beyond mad about this but in the end it isn't her wedding - she been married 3 times and had PLENTY of her own invitations to pick the working on. One of the few times I've pulled the 'My day - my way!' card out.

I hope this helps!

Diva,
I went through this last night with my mom too. As for formal 'black tie' invites it can be:

Mr. and Mrs. XX
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter

xx xx

to

xx xx

son of Mr. and Mrs. XX

The other way to do it
is not to have son of and just say

Mr. and Mrs. XX
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter

xx xx

to

Mr. XX XX XX


The third option, which I like, is

Mr. and Mrs. XX and
Mr. and Mrs. XX
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their children

xx xx

to

xx xx

Having the mom's first names is less formal than Mr. and Mrs. XX.
Ad for whose name goes on top and do you include the names of the grooms parent's check Cranes Wedding Guide or Peggy Post's Guide.

Lisa

I am having

Mr & Mrs XXXXX
and
Mr & Mrs XXXXX

request the honour of your presence to the marriage of their children

XXXXXXXXXXX

and


XXXXXXXXXX

my parents are payng for our entire wedding and fh's parents have contributed also.......so i feel it is the right thing to do,,,,EVEN if they werent paying Iwould still have their names on the invites .............JMO

I am having:

Mr. & Mrs (my parents)
request the honor (blah blah blah)
their daughter,

Donna Marie

to

John Peter
son of Mr. & Mrs blah blah

I had decided (and FI agreed) that I wanted it to just be my parents names because my parents are the ones paying for the wedding entirely. My parents felt they didn't want to cause any hurt feelings or anything which is why we have son of and their names. But I wanted to make sure it was my parents doing the 'requesting' because I feel they deserve the recognition since they are paying 100%