gown making me go nuts (mom vent)

im the oldest of 3 (another girl and boy) my younger sister got mailed in a 1-2-3 wedding fashion, and my mom made her wedding gown. im the first woman to get married in my family in a traditional manner.

going dress shopping has been a pure nightmare. i have a 'people pleasing' complex, so of course i want my mom and grandma to love my dress. the promise is i have a TOTALLY different vision of my wedding dress.

my mom wants the 'disney princess' dress. ball gown/full skirt/sweetheart neckline/beading etc.

i want a comfortable, elegant, lace or lace overlay dress.

i want to be a princess but i want to be a comfortable one. im the one paying for the dress (and the wedding for that matter) so i just dont know what to do. we went shopping yesterday and after leaving bridal reflections i was on the verge of tears. i want my mom love my dress but in the end i know im the one who is buying it and wearing it.

the other aspect is the dresses she likes are MORE expensive than the ones I like. in the grand scheme of things my dress isnt as important as other aspects of the wedding.

help!!!

Have you tried just flat out talking to her about it?

You should feel beautiful on your day, and you should pick the dress that you feel most beautiful in!

Go dress shopping without your mom!

Narrow it down to a few that you like... THAT YOU LIKE!... bring her and show her the ones that YOU LIKE and tell her out of the ones that YOU LIKE, which one does she like the best.

Since you're paying for it, you need to be happy and please yourself.

I'm totally sympathetic to your situation... and it's not that I'm a people pleaser, I just need my mom's nod on everything... I've learned that sometimes, her nod isn't what's important.


ETA: And if you bring her the next time and show her the dresses that you narrowed it down to, let her know that you aren't trying on any other dresses other than the ones you narrowed it down to. If she can't choose one from that one's you like, oh well... she's not the one who has to look at the pictures for the next 50 years.

---

Posted by AMGBride2008

Go dress shopping without your mom!

Narrow it down to a few that you like... THAT YOU LIKE!... bring her and show her the ones that YOU LIKE and tell her out of the ones that YOU LIKE, which one does she like the best.

Since you're paying for it, you need to be happy and please yourself.

---

This is a very good idea

UNFORTUNATELY my mom has passed away but i was getting the same thing from my sister when it comes to wedding dresses the bigger the better i am on the other hand all about simple in the end i got the most beautiful dress that i liked a mermaid style SHE LOVES IT TOO once she sees you in a dress that you realy love she will love it too

if she still gives u a hard time leave her at home

get what YOU like

i got what i consider to be a very simple dress - the only thing different about it is the bottom is gathered - otherwise i think its pretty plain. everyone said that they love it on me - even though i know they all have different styles of dresse that they like.....but the dress has to 'fit' you and your style. i tried on dresses with big full bottoms and lots of beading and they happened to look really nice on me BUT that just isnt me - so even though they look great i didnt feel comfortable in them....dont get what you think other people will like - get what you like - you might be surprised at their reaction when you find the one - they might LOVE it too!

I know allll about people please-ing! thats me too! Ever thought 'If my mom is happy then I'll be happy' aka 'If my mom's not angry I'll be happy' I'm there. and of COURSE as nasty as the previous comment sounds - I really really DO want my mom happy also - but here's the thing, the dress - is what YOU are wearing and unless your coming in with a dress that an exotic dancer designed as part of a special episode of project runway...I can GUARANTEE your mother is going to think you're the most BEAUTIFUL thing in the world.
I like what other gals have said - go shopping first, pick out some you like and show them to her. of course, she MAY say 'oh honey just try this one on for me' but if she sees you in your favorite - all beaming and glowing - she too will know its 'the one' no one can deny 'the one' when they see the bride in it and glowing!
just communicate with her and you'll be fine!

let us know how it goes

*disclaimer* colleen1117 has yet to go dress shopping..so should i come on this site in a couple of months complaining about the same topic - remind me what I've written here

i really like all your ideas the problem is i picked out the dress i like and showed it to her and her response was 'its ok but makes you look fat'

grant it im not a size 6 and i am overweight but it hurt so much ESPECIALLY to say it in front of the consultant so brazenly. plus she knows im trying to continue to lose weight (im down 25 so far, another 25-30 to go) so that also hurt.

---

Posted by tinabella7780

i really like all your ideas the problem is i picked out the dress i like and showed it to her and her response was 'its ok but makes you look fat'

grant it im not a size 6 and i am overweight but it hurt so much ESPECIALLY to say it in front of the consultant so brazenly. plus she knows im trying to continue to lose weight (im down 25 so far, another 25-30 to go) so that also hurt.

---

was that dress you tried on the right size for you? If not, then that may make you look 'fatter' than when it is in your size.

I agree with the others...do what you want and let your mom deal with it.