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My grandmother is 82 and unfortunately she has alzheimers . My parents are the ones taking care of her. Do u think it would be better if she did not come to the wedding so that my parents could enjoy it and not have to worry about her wandering off and stripping down naked at the reception? I feel bad coz I love my grandmabut she barely knows who she is any more: (
I agree with the post above me. Bring her to the ceremony, skip the reception.
I'm getting married at the reception hall so the ceremony is in wood bury an he from our house from 8 to 830 and the reception starts immediately after...argggghhhh. not to mention her 'accidents': ( its so sad
My nanny has the same problem she is 93 and my parents care for her. My mother decided it would be best if she did not attend our wedding because it would be way too hard to take care of her (changing her diaper etc.) and they would not be able to enjoy themselves.
It maybe easier if your grandma isn't there. It will give your parents the opportunity to enjoy this moment as your parent and not their other role/duty as caretaker of your grandmother. I know this is a hard decision for you and your family. HTH
Are you able to hire an aide to watch and tend to her at the wedding? This way, she would still be able to be there for your day and your parents would be able to enjoy themselves more. If not, I would think it may be easier to have her stay home.
Posted by KroertGS
Are you able to hire an aide to watch and tend to her at the wedding? This way, she would still be able to be there for your day and your parents would be able to enjoy themselves more. If not, I would think it may be easier to have her stay home.
Your situation sounds a lot like FH grandmother. Were thinking of having her come for the church and the cocktail hour and then our entrance. After she will be taken home because at that point it will be 8 anyways. She has a care giver though so even during that time some one will be there to be with her.
Posted by Excited2BeMrsG
It is definitely a very difficult disease to deal with. Oftentimes, its the caretakers that seem to suffer the most.
People that live with Alzheimer's disease really live from one moment to the next. They often lose their inhibitions and appear to lose sense of who they are. But they are still very much 'there.' There really isn't a right or wrong thing to do, it's about what's most comfortable for you and what will be most comfortable for your grandmother. If you don't think she'd be up to attending, then maybe after all the wedding excitement slows down a bit, you can spend some special time with her. Maybe put together an album and show her pictures and/or video. Or put on your dress for an afternoon, get her dressed up, put some of your grandma's favorite music on, and just dance around or sing with her and tell her how happy you are that she can celebrate with you. Music has proven to be a very effective way of communicating with those who suffer from the disease.
It might take some creativity, but you can still have her 'be a part' of your day. She doesn't have to be there on the actual day, but you can find a way to personalize it for her so that you can share the love and joy you feel with a woman who still knows what love and joy feel like deep down inside.
I'm so sorry to be so wordy. It's just something I feel very passionately about and I am just trying to help. Whatever you decide, I am sending good thoughts your way!
Posted by jangelz9
Posted by Excited2BeMrsG
It is definitely a very difficult disease to deal with. Oftentimes, its the caretakers that seem to suffer the most.
People that live with Alzheimer's disease really live from one moment to the next. They often lose their inhibitions and appear to lose sense of who they are. But they are still very much 'there.' There really isn't a right or wrong thing to do, it's about what's most comfortable for you and what will be most comfortable for your grandmother. If you don't think she'd be up to attending, then maybe after all the wedding excitement slows down a bit, you can spend some special time with her. Maybe put together an album and show her pictures and/or video. Or put on your dress for an afternoon, get her dressed up, put some of your grandma's favorite music on, and just dance around or sing with her and tell her how happy you are that she can celebrate with you. Music has proven to be a very effective way of communicating with those who suffer from the disease.
It might take some creativity, but you can still have her 'be a part' of your day. She doesn't have to be there on the actual day, but you can find a way to personalize it for her so that you can share the love and joy you feel with a woman who still knows what love and joy feel like deep down inside.
I'm so sorry to be so wordy. It's just something I feel very passionately about and I am just trying to help. Whatever you decide, I am sending good thoughts your way!
THANK you everyone for your insights!!! But excited thank you sooooo much for ur insight. U definitely were NOT too wordy! In fact your words were so compassionate and kind it really touched my heart and brought tesrs to my eyes. Thank you thank you thank you so much for ur advice
Its not about her only doing something inappropriate its about her being inappropriate and my dad missing the father daughter dance because she has an accident and has to take her home or him constantly being preoccupied with her coz even if she has a caregiver he's still gonna be very much concerned bout her but ur right I do feel bad not having her there but I also want my parents to enjoy the night sigh
I didn't even discuss it with my dad yet because I doubt he'd go for it and so I wanted to have a good argument put together before I present the idea to him. I did discuss with my mom what options we had seeing as the reception sogithmy grandparents and my mom said my dad would drive my grandmother home and come back. But it wouldn't be so simple as drive her home which is a 45 minute drive he would also have to change her and get her ready for bed. Because we all agree that being out from 8 to 130am is not good for my grandparents
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Posted by PSP
Maybe bring her to the wedding, there should be a bunch of people to watch her though so your parents don't have to worry.
But I'd probably skip the reception to be honest. Have your parents bring her home but she needs a caretaker with her though obviously.
Posted by jangelz9
Its not about her only doing something inappropriate its about her being inappropriate and my dad missing the father daughter dance because she has an accident and has to take her home or him constantly being preoccupied with her coz even if she has a caregiver he's still gonna be very much concerned bout her but ur right I do feel bad not having her there but I also want my parents to enjoy the night sigh
