GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

I could Scream!!

I can't take everyones 'opinions' on how to have OUR DAY...Fh Family is always putting in there 2 cents...and that makes his thoughts change...Its just soo Frustrating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I deleted my whole long post....don;t know if anyone I know goes on here...I ahve mentioned this site before....but I doubt any of them go on...but who knows?!?

So, deleted this post.....thanks for all the help you guys gave tho!

My fiance is like that too. But I think his parents realize that so now his mom just asks/discusses things directly with me.

You should talk to your FH about how he is with them and ask him to support what you guys are planning when he talks to his parents.

And like you said- it's your wedding- do things your way. I think you made a great compromise by having a rabbi there- they should be happy that you are including their religion into your ceremony!!

Sorry to here all that. I think you have to try to put his family in their place..Nicely of course. You also need to talk to FH and tell him to start sticking up for the woman he is going to start a family with and spend the rest of his life with. JMO... Good Luck!!

FH and I have talked....he seems to agree with me, but can;t stand up to them I guess...I mean we have only seen them 1 time in the past 2 years, and thats because WE WENT THERE...and we have not even gotten a phone call in about a month,,,and FH refuses to call because he says the phone works 2 ways...but I am going to have to stick to my guns...FH Now tells me he is not into the whole costume thing..FINE...we;llscratch that..but having it ON HAlloween..how can you not have a Theme?? iTs just so frustrating and tis still so far away, and if this is what is happening NOW...what will the enxt 16 months bring???

I am marrying a reformed mama's boy. FH used to run and answer to his mother's every beck and call, and it was a source of SOOOOOOOO many of our fights. And I had a hard time because i used to think, well, this is his mother, I have no right to step in and say anything to him. Well, that changed real fast when he left me with a broken ankle, no one else around, because his mother was mad that he wasn't at her house. I said there is no way in this world he will ever do that again. I was so hurt! Mother's have a strong hold on their sons. So FH and I had a LONG talk about his relationship with his mother and how it was affecting my feelings about being with him (this was almost 2 years ago now), and slowly, but surely, he started standing up to his mom and saying no to her and speaking his mind. At first, it was really hard and she would say things like, 'Oh, you don't love me, you're leaving me here alone and I have terminal cancer, I could die!' (and she didn't even have cancer anymore! ) And he started to realize how his mother had been manipulating him to do the things she wanted him to . He is still on college now because she didn't want him to go back before and made it miserable for him to be able to save the money to go bacl. Ok, so now why am I telling you all of this.........
Well, your problems, although they are rearing their heads through FH's family memebers, are really with FH. I'm sure when he tells his family what they want to hear, it makes you feel like he's invalidating how you feel. So sit down at a moment when you are NOT upset and explain how you are feeling. Give him examples and tell him how it makes you feel. You might have to talk to him a few times before it sinks in, but I'm sure it will. And as for your FILs, I would just tell them how you feel. Be nice about it of course, but tell them, 'you know, that is not a good time for us for the engagement party', or, 'We really appreciate your input, but we have decided to this...' Whatever you do, don't let this go. It will only eat away at you, trust me, I know! Good Luck and keep me posted as to how things are going!

if you decide not to go with the costume thing- you could still carry out that theme with the bridal party as you are doing and flowers/centerpieces/cake??/placecards etc...

What about instead of doing a halloween costume thing- to have people dress up to a specific decade?? meaning a formal dress/style from the 30s, 40s, 50s, etc? or formal attire from different countries?

this way you won't have to worry about people coming in with underdressed costumes? just an idea.

Thantks for the ideas Jag

I think I will just scrap the WHole costume IDea...but they are not going to override my color scheme....doing a black with Orange accents type of thing..and thats how I want it...and Fh had no problem with it before...I think if this is such an issue, will do it a different weekend...Maybe the Sunday before---thats my parents anniversary...I DOUBT that will go over well..nothing works smooth for us...having an interfaith wedding is already something very different for me and my family, so I am trying to play fair, but if you are going to criticize every idea I have, then keep quiet..I did not ask anyones opinions in the first place