Someone please help me out. I was under the impression that not every single person needed to be invited with a guest. Just got off the phone with my FMIL and after going over the guest list, she's added '& Guest' to everyone, even if they are 40 yrs ols and are not dating everyone and will have their entire family at the wedding. She's keeps saying :they'll never bring a guest - dont' worry.' But I am since the list is already at 200. Please help!
wacky
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Re: '& Guest' Etiquette
i just did my list and invited everyone with a guest. I will only be having adults and everyone is invited with a guest. Even my mom and Fh mom they are both single.
I always hated being invited solo, just because I didnt have steady. Just my opinion
balilove
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Re: '& Guest' Etiquette
The 'etiquette' rule is that anyone 18 y/o and older is suppose to be invited with a guest. If the invitations already went out with & guest on them the only thing is you will have to wait. Since our guest list was so large my FH asked several of his friends if they would be bringing a date or not. To our surprise most of them said no. LOL, this is a tough one.
yabbobay
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Re: '& Guest' Etiquette
my mom has two close neighbors...one a widow and one a divorcee...I didn't invite either with a date...we knew they were not dating anyone...but there were also plenty of people they knew at the wedding
maybe I made a ettiquette blunder? I didn't invite MIL with date either...
everyone else did...but I would say that not many did bring dates...at least there was only one person who I did not know at the wedding...
karen32
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Re: '& Guest' Etiquette
This is JMO - but with LI weddings so expensive, I really can't see inviting people with guests if they're not in a steady relationship. I would just be aware of table arrangements and make sure everyone is comfortable with who they're seated.
The thought of paying $100+ a head for someone to just bring any-old somebody just does not make sense to me.
JMO!!!
Jenn524
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Re: '& Guest' Etiquette
My FI and I are having the same discussion right now. I really don't feel like spending all that extra money for someone to bring a co-worker or a friend. We are already having a problem because his family is about 135 people and we wanted to keep the total to about 160. I can't see not inviting friends of ours so that a second cousin can bring a friend. I would say only invite guests to people who are in serious relationships.
Buttafli1277
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Re: '& Guest' Etiquette
Don't feel bad, I have the same problem! Just hope they don't bring a guest!
LnP2003
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Re: '& Guest' Etiquette
Here's a bit of info..... One of my girlfriends, who unluckily has not been in a relationship in 8 years was invited to 2 weddings sans & guest....
She was very hurt & upset that she wasn't even allowed the possibility of thought that she may be in starter relationship mode....
Food for thought guys.... Just lettin' ya know!!!!!!!
ChristineC68
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Re: '& Guest' Etiquette
If the single guests know other single people at the wedding then I would consider inviting someone with out a guest. If they only know couples, then I would give them the choice. It's no fun being the single person at a table of couples. We invited everyone & guest and we were surprised so many came with out one.
nrvbrd
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Re: '& Guest' Etiquette
This is a very touchy subject that has been posted time and time again.
I really did not want to do the and guest thing. I could not see paying x amount of $$$ for friends to bring just anybody, but after careful consideration we decided to do it.
I think if you budget does not allow it, then by any means do not do it.
Ronnie&Theresa
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Re: '& Guest' Etiquette
Why not ask the person. I know if I was single I would want to be asked first....
That way you can tell them the honest truth about it!
Scoop
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Re: '& Guest' Etiquette
I only invited those who are in a committed relationship, living together or engaged with a guest. For some of my parents friends who are single, my parents or myself called and asked if they would prefer to be invited with a guest. Almost all said no.
I wouldn't worry to much.
NovemberSue
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Re: '& Guest' Etiquette
We invited everyone with a guest and left it up to them.Surprisingly,they all chose to come solo.
CippyLoo
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Re: '& Guest' Etiquette
I actually read once that it is considered bad etiquette to addresses an envelope with '& Guest'. It said that if you have invites with a special someone you should find out that special someone's name and right it on the invite. So facing the same situation as you I decided that if someone on the guest list has been with a special someone a significant amount of time (long enough for me to know about it and know thier name) that I would write that person's name on the envelope if not...well then, no guest. However there are a few people who I know would be uncomfortable with out a date so I do still have a few '& guest' invites in my list.
NovemberSue
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Re: '& Guest' Etiquette
If you are sending an invitation to someone and you don't know the guests name,it is proper to write the person you know's name on the outside and on the inner envelope you write their name & guest.
jtodaro
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Re: '& Guest' Etiquette
unfortunately it is proper to invite everyone with a guest. in know how you feel. i could cut out about 40 or so people if i could get rid of the and guest.
think about it, even though it is your day some people get offended very easily, and will not come at all if not invited with at least the thought of bringing a guest.
bottom line is who is paying. if you and your FH are paying for everything then you have final say as to who gets cut and who doesnt. if the families are pitching in $$ then they do get some say.
jennyg
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Re: '& Guest' Etiquette
thanks for your help, girls. My FI and I are footing about 75% of the wedding (and 100% of the reception costs) and although I would love to call up everyone and ask if they want to bring a guest, our list is now at 200 people. So that would be a little hard to do! But I just called my hall to find out maximum occupany (we orginally thought we'd only have 150 at the wedding) and they tell me anything over 200 would be pushing it. So that is what I will tell my FMIL. I do not feel comfortable sending out 220 invitations and if some of our family gets offended, so be it. You have to cut it off somwhere. Anyone that has a significant other that we know about by the time the invitations go out will get invited with them. And of course if they don't know anyone else at the wedding they can bring a guest(only about two of them).
michele31
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Re: '& Guest' Etiquette
The best part of this is that many of the 'older' people will bring their adult children or even a neighor as a guest. I didn't invite everyone in the family with a guest. Single adult friends, yes, over 50 not dating anyone family, no.
