Guest List Drama

Hey,

Doing the guest list is very stressful and I think you really need to think about this first.

If your parents get 50 invites, you and FH get 50 invites, what about FH parents? How many will they get?

Did you discuss this with your parents? I think they should realize that it is your and FH wedding first and it is GREAT that they are paying, but you should tell them that you really would like to invite you and FH friends too.

However, if your FH agrees to pay for more people, I don't see why your parents would object....



My parents are paying for the reception too, and we originally thought that we would have 200 people max. However when we actually sat down to do the guest list we realized we GROSSLY underestimated. Both FH and I have a big family so there is no way 200 would be enough.

What we decided to do was to sit down and right a list with all our family because it was really important for us to invite BOTH our families to the wedding. That list alone totals about 145 people (this is just with aunts and uncles and first cousins).

Then we split the remaining 60 by 4 (me, him, his parents and my parents).

Of course I was miserable and sad at the thought of just inviting 20 of my friends, but this was one way that we tried to control the list.

But right now we are looking at a guest list of 280 - 300. My parents just had to invite more of their friends and they told us to go ahead and invite more of our friends. Basically, I think they just felt bad because everytime they would ask 'Oh, pleae add your sisters best friends parents to the list' or something like that, I would say 'For real? Wow, I'm leaving off alot of MY close friends because I gave myself 20 guests and you want to invite XXXx?' In a sad voice of course. I think they felt bad, and they were like 'Invite your friends'. My problem is that my parents STILL HAVE not given me an estimate of how much they are willing to pay for the reception. So it's really me trying to be conscientous and not trying to send them to the poor house! I guess we will see how many say yes.....We're hoping for no more than 250.

Doing the guest list stinks so much and can be very very stressful. It's never cut and dried. It's easier if everyone, (you, parents, FI, and FI's parents) all get a certain number to invite that your parents will agree to pay for. If FI or FI's parents go over their allotted amount and they are willing to pay the difference, it should not be a big deal.

This was stressful for us also FMIL wanted to invite SO many people but FH put his foot down and said no cause HE doesn't even know most of the people on her list. lol And since they haven't offered any $$, it was easy to say no.

i'm in the same boat...fh and i are paying for any guests if we go over 200...
my parents are fine with it. u have to do whats necessary right.