Just with my family and my fh family and a few close friends we have 130 people. Then each of our parents have people they have to have there because it's people who watvhed us grow up. Now wehave an all inclusive which covers 105 guests. As it is we will pay an extra 2000 just to cover the basic family that needs to be covered and if we ad all the people my FH wants to ad just for and invite our number shoots up 158. He's like they might not all come. I'm like what if they do then we have another 5000 to our package and no HM. I'm feeling that. Then he was pisssed because my family is so large I have 15 aunts and uncles which is crazy and I am close to my cousins on my mom's side of the family. We already eliminaed children and guests for family members who are married or living with someone. I don't know where else to cut. I have some cousins I haven't seen in a while I feel bad inviting their sibling and not them. I don't know what to do. I think we could probably cover the extra people I just don't want to be that tight with money. It will make the next 8 month hell if all we were doind is working for this one day. Any suggestions are appreciated. Thank you. I feel bad that my family is so much bigger than his but by the same token my mom at least offered to pay for the extra people she wanted to come to he wedding.
sbarclay2
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Re: guest list fight
i def hear you on all the extra people to invite bec when it comes down to it my mother wants to invite some of the people that she works with and the so does FMIL whereas the dads could care less but im like hello this is my wedding unless your paying for your friends then we cant keep adding the extra people!!!!
ourwedding9510
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Re: guest list fight
I went through the same thing planning the guest list. We were deleting and adding people up until the invites went in for addressing and even after. Remember that it is not always a promise but 20% of guests usually say no due to one reason or another. I don't know where else to cut so I'm sorry I can't help you. I did do a rule that if they were our 'friends' but we haven't spoken to them more then once or twice during the engagement we didn't invite them. We also didn't do guests and I didn't invite cousins that I wasn't close to (I'm close to most of my cousins but not all). You will upset someone so don't think of it that way. Think what will make you and DH happy!
squeeky126
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Re: guest list fight
Sorry you are fighting about this...I know it can stink to have a huge family. I suggest you def taking the money your mother offered you to pay for the extra people so you wont be as stressed. I mean she offered...so why not!
SoonToBeMrsCali
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Re: guest list fight
We originally had a guestlist about your size with my family but I felt bad that FH didn't have as much family and he kept calling it my guestlist. So we came to the agreement that we will invite the immediate family and the friends/family that we talk to on a regular basis and know us both.
I don't know if this is a possibility for you if you are close with your cousins.
Someone else said that someone will always be upset, so try not to let that get to you, talk with FH and see how you can cut. Sometimes eliminating aunts and uncles you never talk to can cut a lot.
FutureMrsDe
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Re: guest list fight
tell both parents they have to pay for there' other people' or they arnt invited!
dpanzarino
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Re: guest list fight
We have 360 guests with our 'maybes'.... I understand!! I'm trying to convince my fiance to cut the kids!!!
Thats-What-She-Said
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Re: guest list fight
How bout telling both sets of parents that if they want anyone extra invited then they have to pay for them to come.
GabB
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Re: guest list fight
Posted by Stardutchess
How bout telling both sets of parents that if they want anyone extra invited then they have to pay for them to come.
That's what I would do too.
MarryingMyBFF1110
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Re: guest list fight
FH and had same fight - and will continue to until the invites are out I'm sure. HIs family is HUGE and mine is tiny. I told him to talk to his parents and that they had to set a limit. ----We want a total of 120-140, and his mom gave me a list of 200 from her side alone. After some arguments, I sat down with the FILS and showed them the numbers. Once i put a price tag on each guest, and asked for them to contribute, they changed their tune. No sweat off my back. So we decided only immediate family (siblings of parents and their children). His side is definitely still upset, but it becomes a snowball effect when we invite one, we have to invite the other. By keeping it immediate family only - we are avoiding that issue....but plenty of folks are still annoyed with us. Can't please everyone!!!!! And my mom btw - wants her friends there, so she said she would pay for them.
