guest list frustration

FMIL has taken it upon herself to invite yet MORE family friends who FH doesn't know very well (with the exception of one family). Meanwhile, my parents wouldn't DREAM of adding on people I didn't know just because they were recent BFFs. I have been cutting friends of ours off of the list, only to make the numbers go back up because of her!!!! If everybody on the guest list said yes right now, we'd have 210 guests, not including vendors. . .when all we really wanted was 175. I'm sure we'll be okay, but it's the principle of it. They are helping us out with $8500 of the wedding costs, which is very generous, but it doesn't give her free range to invite whoever. I decided after seeing this 'final' update that I could put 3 more of our friends on the invite list.

She also wants these people to come to MY SHOWER. Meanwhile, I DON'T KNOW THEM and she's going to drag me around during MY SHOWER to awkwardly talk to people I don't know. I want to spend time with my FRIENDS at the shower, not strangers.

I know that I sound like Bridezilla, but this really, really irks me to no end. How would you girls feel about this???

extend the wedding and shower an extra hour for a meet and greet??

I am in the exact same situation and my guest list is now up to 256!!! It is sooooooo frustrating, especially because now I am starting to think I can't afford it anymore!

I think you should have your fh talk to his parents and just say it is not feasible to add any more people to the list. It is not fair that you guys should cut friends off the list so you can invite people you barely know but that is JMO...

Actually, FH already did that, and she cut out five couples. Get this: she said that I could restore friends, but I couldn't 'go crazy' with it. UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. . .who's (or whose?) wedding is this???? I swear, she's trying to turn this into the wedding of the daughter she never had. Don't want to get into a lot of my true feelings here since it is such a public forum, but I think you can read between the lines. (FH is fed up, too.)

Can I hope and pray that most of them say no? Okay, selfish part of me says 'yay more presents' but the rational part of me says 'wait a minute--FH isn't even inviting that many friends to make room for his mom's friends, and that's not fair!!!'

That really isn't fair at all... A lot of people might say no if they don't know you so well but it still isn't right that your fh is cutting out his friends to make room for fmil's! I am sorry you have to go through this.. I wish I could tell you how to handle it but I know how insistent parents can be when it comes to their children's weddings..

I understand that this is her firstborn's wedding and she's so proud and excited, but you have to draw the line. She has a big family, and already her side alone was about 35 people. Inviting a large family, even if I haven't met them all quite yet, is one thing. Your HS BFF who you lost touch with for 30 years but rekindled the relationship in 2008 via Facebook does NOT need an invitation. I **** you not.; this is what I'm dealing with!

Meanwhile, my mother has friends from work who I would LOVE to have at the wedding (and might talk her into inviting, now that I'm seeing what's going on here). Granted, this is the second wedding in my family (my sister got married at the Chateau Briand in May '07), so my parents understand what's expected in terms of a guest list and won't go crazy. They know that they can only give us so much money (not as much as FILs, but still helping a lot) and that we're paying for most of it ourselves. As a result, they decided not to invite certain people.

FMIL said that they'll pay for their friends to come, but still. . .

And I told myself that I wouldn't be 'that bride.'

that's tough since she's helping w/ $

i think fH is going to have to arrange a one-on-one to bring her back down to earth.

But if you think about it $8500 out of approximately $19,000-20,000 for the RH is only about 40%. Yes, I understand that the guest list should be half for me and half for FH, but my family is only taking up maybe 60 invites, and I have a big extended family that we're not inviting (first aunts/uncles and cousins are coming, but that's it).

Yeah, he needs to have a sitdown with her, because over the phone sitdown definitely did NOT work because the amended guest list was larger than the first one!!!!!!!!!!!