OKay - So I've decided I cannot invite everyone I want to with a guest.....
Here is the issue - Some of my friends that have Significant others I'd like to invite with a guest and those who do not will not be invited with a guest...(my issue is that they are the same group of friends)
In your opinion -- IS this rude and what would you do if you were me???
MnM52607
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Re: Guest list help....
Sorry but I wouldn't pick and choose who gets to bring a date. I would definitely be offended. Can you try cutting the guest list some other way?
Licee15
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Re: Guest list help....
Do you have any other ideas on how to cut the list?
Espo22
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Re: Guest list help....
Posted by MnM52607
Sorry but I wouldn't pick and choose who gets to bring a date. I would definitely be offended. Can you try cutting the guest list some other way?
It would be hard for me to pick too...The few single friends I do have, i don't want to tell them you can't bring a date and maybe them feeling alone at times during the wedding...Most of my friends are in relationship. This one table i will have will be mostly couples and one friend of ours who is single, i think that would make her feel awkward. So basically at this point i am just dealing with a huge guest list.
And re: your question on how to cut the guest list...we dont know your list and the people on them...alot of times though people invite those that aren't that close to them, many times the parents invite a abunch of their friends...this would be a good way to cut the list...or how about co-workers
nifheim
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Re: Guest list help....
What you can do is if these friends are close to each other and you really are REALLY close with (where you think they wouldn't get offended)them ask them would they bring a date if they don't have a sig. other or would they be fine with just sitting with the rest of the friends.
Its really a touchy issue though to do that. But i would say yes its a bit harsh to invite sig. others for some and not others. I would trim people off else where (haven't talked them in a few years.. then don't invite them), or parents have a habit of making a lits of people who you never met... limit that.
Kara and Todd
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Re: Guest list help....
Well, your wedding is over 9 months away... and a LOT can change in 9 months, especially someone's relationship status! FH and I were dating less than a year before we got engaged. So, you really cannot count on the single people still being single in 9 months.
Also, how many people does this wind up being? I mean, is having 4 or 5 less people really worth the drama? Some people might be offended.
If I wasn't dating someone, I didn't bring a date to people's weddings... especially if I knew the people who were going to be there. However, I think adults should at least be given the option.
MnM52607
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Re: Guest list help....
Posted by Licee15
Do you have any other ideas on how to cut the list?
The only thing I would say is invite just the people you are close to. For example, I just started a new job in August, I will most likely only be invited my 2 bosses and that's it. I can't afford to invite the whole department.
Espo22
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Re: Guest list help....
Posted by nifheim
What you can do is if these friends are close to each other and you really are REALLY close with (where you think they wouldn't get offended)them ask them would they bring a date if they don't have a sig. other or would they be fine with just sitting with the rest of the friends.
Its really a touchy issue though to do that. But i would say yes its a bit harsh to invite sig. others for some and not others. I would trim people off else where (haven't talked them in a few years.. then don't invite them), or parents have a habit of making a lits of people who you never met... limit that.
I agree, i did that for my e-party...i just casually asked single friends if they were bringing a date...they told me no...so sometimes if you just ask it will help out
ronnysbride
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Re: Guest list help....
I had the same issue and basically your friends will understand. I spoke to the single ones before invites went out and said, I'm on a budget and I'm having a small wedding and want you to be apart of it, but I cannot invite you with a guest. They all understood and had no problem at all. I didn't want them to just bring their bang of the month...you know what i mean?
I also did mention that if they started dating someone around the time of the wedding and wanted to bring them, let me know and I would try to fit them in.
Licee15
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Re: Guest list help....
Thanks girls --
I have thrown a chopping Block to my guest list - If I was paying for the wedding I would tell my parents to cut the list...But they are paying for it -- So i really can't tell them who to cut ya kno- they already have ...I already minus all the co-workers, and people I haven't spoken to in a while - I cut out the people who I don't think I will be close to in five years....I've done it all...I swear.
Maybe as my FIL to cut- they aren't really doing anything for the wedding (96 on their list)....
It's more like 10 girls that aren't invited with a guest to the wedding and I don't want people to just bring a guest because they were invited with one ya kno???-- It just is alot of money
ali120206
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Re: Guest list help....
A lot of people do that to make their guest lists more manageable. Many people find it rude, some do understand.
If you do plan on doing this, I recommend you going to your friends a month or so beforehand (because by then, they should have an idea of whether they are dating anyone seriously) and explain your situation and see if they feel uncomfortable. It's better to address the situation and not to just have them find out when the invitation comes.
I used to be a big advocate of and guest, whatever the situation, thinking people would be like me and use their best judgement and only bring someone that they were serious with or if they didn't know anyway but that didn't happen. A couple of people responded yes for them and 'guest' when they didn't have a definite guest and then came alone.
jneandry
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Re: Guest list help....
I am having the same issue. We decided that if someone has a GF or BF that have been together a long time...not just months or dating...Then we would invite their sig. other, or obviously engaged or married. We are not putting and guest with everyone there is no way. I really dont care if people are going to be upset about bringing a guest or not. Im to the point where I need to sit back and enjoy my day without breaking the bank. I think that is very fair and I have read up the etiquette on it and that is def. a fair way to do it.
Ginal
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Re: Guest list help....
Honestly, I understand how you feel about money but I have been told by so many people that even if you have a large guest list, a certain percentage does not come. Many who you invite with a guest, chances are, won't bring one. I am inviting everyone with a guest except older guests whose spouses are deceased. Everything will wind up working out on its own, as everyone keeps telling me!
sugar4spc
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Re: Guest list help....
I am going throught the same delima. I cant see myself choosing who can and cant come with a guest. Doing this is definately opening the door for fights. Like the girls say... not everyone can make it so you may have no problem, but then again we never know. Make your A list and then your B list. This is the first step, then try weeding out from there.
PreshusSmurf
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Re: Guest list help....
I think what you are suggesting is ok to do.
Those who are in relationships SHOULD be invited with their significant others. But you should find out their names, so technically they're not being invited with 'dates.'
Of course its nicer to invite everyone with a guest, but not everyone's budget can handle that!
ejm1219
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Re: Guest list help....
My friend told me for her wedding that she saw in an etiquitte book that ifthey have been together for 1 year or more they should be invited. 1 year or less - not. (at the time the invites are sent) My fiance wants to invite a lot of people in his fraternity and I am not paying for everyone to have a date. I am using this cut off as well!
BubbasBride
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Re: Guest list help....
My FI and I argue about this all the time. I say everyone gets invited with a guest. He doesn't agree. But, we are a little older than most, and I have pretty good control over my guest list (so far...). I really want everyone to enjoy themselves at my wedding, and I don't think most people do that if they have to come alone and are surrounded by couples..JMO
