guest list problems

hi all

my fh and i are trying to make up our guest list and boy is it a b****! so far we have 300 people and we know we have to cut it to at least 250 bc we are paying for the wedding ourselves.

how do you decide who to cut!!!!!!!

we work at a small school, and if we invited people from work, that would be 24 people total. i think some people at work might be offended if we did not invite them.

this is giving me such a headache.


HELPP!!!

I am still undecided about inviting people from work. I may have to cut them because we are limited by the size of our room. I think some people might be offended if we do this, but I hope they understand. I think if you cut poeple from work it's probably best to cut all of them. I think people would be more offended if you invited a few, but not all.

Not that you should rely on this at all, but I think they say that on average there is a 15-20% response of NO to a wedding. But then again, if you're like me, and everyone loves you to death, your wedding will be the biggest event of the year and no one will say no Ok, maybe not....hehe.

I have been called harsh by some because of my opinions on inviting ppl to weddings.

I am a firm believer that NOT EVERYONE deserves to be invited to your wedding. This is an event where you invite those nearest and dearest to you.

So:

1. I will not be inviting that co worker whom I share the same bathroom schedule with and we exchange polite friendly banter.

2. I will not invite friends whom I no longer have contact with

3. I will not invite family who I have not seen in 20 years.

Moneys are $$$$$ and you have to draw the line somewhere.

erics father and mother both gave us a list (they are divorced) as well as my parents. i have an extremely small family, but erics family is quite large and he has tons of friends. seriously, i have no idea where to start.

thanks for the advice- keep it coming!

Peg, this is how I did it.

Since Fi and I are paying we made the guest list ourselves. We did invite a few friends of parents, but that is it. We did not consult them, we told them who we were inviting. Neither side is contributing so they do not have a say.

As far as friends are concerned, really think that through. FH has a lot of 'friends' some of which we have not seen in a long time some who have gotten married and neglected to send us an invitation or announcement. We are only inviting friends who are active in our lives.

I know that there is a sense of obligation that comes with inviting people, but the reality of the situtation is that this is a costly event and you CANNOT invite everyone.

Invite who you want at your wedding. Only invite the teachers who you regularly talk to, if you happen to want all 24(including guests or 48 including guests??) then you should look at cutting yoour parents list. The wedding day is your not friends of your parents who you dont see anymore.


I have to kinda agree with NRVBRD
You should make up your own list, I did that, but then I showed each set of parents the list I made for them(to see if i forgot anyone real important).
Well my mother crossed people off the list, that she didnt care about, my FutureMIL asked about a couple of people(which I forgot about but wanted to invite, and were only 4 extra). However if she gave me alot more people I was going to have fiance ask them to cover the cost of the people over their amount(sometimes there are people you just dont care about inviting, and they're the stories of the people who show up with a gift way less than the cost to have them their).... Maybe there is someone at the school who you are close to who could help you cut down who to invite from the school).

if you cant cut people off your parents list, somepeople do invite people to only the church(ive seen that done for people couples work with, and their neighbors)It also gives the people a way to see your wedding without feel the need to give you a big gift.

We needed to keep ours small too, about 120 people. So we invited family, a few friends of each set of parents, close people from my FH's job, and our closest friends. I work at home and have little to no contact with my co-workers, so I only invited my boss and a guest. Even so, we needed to trim the list and let me tell you! what a mess that was! I lost a bridesmaid over it.

Some people will take your wedding very seriously and be highly offended if they aren't invited. Instead of thinking of your best interests, your financial situation, they think only of themselves. But, my response to that is simple. If they are that touchy, selfish, and get offended that easily, you're better off to not involve them in your special day.

Good luck with your list! You'll do fine!

KarenM

i made up our list and all of our parents gave us a list as well. we are paying for the majority of the wedding, with some help from our parents.

we are getting married at the hall so inviting people just to the ceremony will not work.

Ask your parents to pay the extra money for the extra people. My mother told me to look at it this way. The people who you dont care to invite. Each one you dont invite is an extra $75. in your pocket(My Priceper person). Add up the amount of people times the cost per person and you could be buying yourself nicer furnature, or honeymoon.
Also the family members we are not very close to we decided to not give them the guest option

thats a good idea

i will let you know how everything works out :)