FH's family is HUGE. My family is not so big. When we started the guest list I gave my mom 65 spots to fill (because I knew she probably couldnt invite any more than that anyway) and I gave FH's parents 100 spots to fill, leaving FH and I onyl about 15 to 20 spots for our friends.
Anyway....now, after all this time....my mom comes complaining to me that his mom got soooo many more spots for guests and she has 8 more friends from work that she wants to invite. The problem is -- we have NO more room AT ALL. Theres no way. I told her a long time ago I'd put those 8 people on the 'B' List (which I did),but she's biiiiitching that its not fair that FH's family got so many more spots. The thing is, they have such a big family. If I had given them an equal number of spots, more than half of FH's family wouldnt have been invited!
Did you give equal amounts of guests to each family, or did you split it according to family size? Am I wrong here?
shopaholic07
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
Posted by AeroJenn
FH's family is HUGE. My family is not so big. When we started the guest list I gave my mom 65 spots to fill (because I knew she probably couldnt invite any more than that anyway) and I gave FH's parents 100 spots to fill, leaving FH and I onyl about 15 to 20 spots for our friends.
Anyway....now, after all this time....my mom comes complaining to me that his mom got soooo many more spots for guests and she has 8 more friends from work that she wants to invite. The problem is -- we have NO more room AT ALL. Theres no way. I told her a long time ago I'd put those 8 people on the 'B' List (which I did),but she's biiiiitching that its not fair that FH's family got so many more spots. The thing is, they have such a big family. If I had given them an equal number of spots, more than half of FH's family wouldnt have been invited!
Did you give equal amounts of guests to each family, or did you split it according to family size? Am I wrong here?
My mom and I have discussed this....Since my parents are paying for the wedding entirely, and my family is bigger than FH's, we're going to give more spots to my family and less to FH's.
Mdolph6
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
We kind of just made our list, they made theres and we put them together....once we did that and saw how many people we where each going to take off some names but then it only added up to 260 and that was enough for us.
Rscaduto
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
I dont feel that you are wrong, we didnt do the official list yet , but when we did the draft one, we basically have the same amount of people. My FH fam is bigger than mine also and I dont feel that you are wrong. You told her a while ago and its not family, ya know. Dont worry
stealthgroom
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
I don't think you're wrong either. the same number of invites only works in a world where people stick to stringent rules unnecessarily. People's families are different sizes, end of story.
Tiggeruth
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
We had a similar situation (his family is bigger) but we didn't 'split' things up. We just got lists from everyone and then that was that. My mom wanted to add some people at the last minute and we did because we had the space and she was only having very few family coming.
Is it that your room doesn't allow the extra 8 people or your budget? If its your budget then I would invite them, make your mom happy and cross your fingers that you'll get enough no's to balance them out? Or can you ask your mom to pay for a portion of the additional guests?
Elise&Matt
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
we didn't have this problem....FH does not have that much family and what little he has he does not get along with so ummmm yeah not too many from 'his' side..... It's mostly my family and our friends and co workers
PegaLega
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
Nope, FHs family is ALOT bigger then mine is thats for sure. I dont really have any advice on this one truthfully. It tough b/c in one sense I guess she is right but at the same time its silly to upset over numbers
cmrcmr0430
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
I never gave anyone the option on how many spots. I let FMIL write her list then asked my Mom about hers. We eliminated from there...
billandme
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
Posted by Mdolph6
We kind of just made our list, they made theres and we put them together....once we did that and saw how many people we where each going to take off some names but then it only added up to 260 and that was enough for us.
We did that too.....once we got all the lists together and realzied the number wasn't THAT bad, then it was OK. ........
Vicky423
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
Posted by cmrcmr0430
I never gave anyone the option on how many spots. I let FMIL write her list then asked my Mom about hers. We eliminated from there...
we did the same, but my family is a lot bigger than his so we ended inviting more guest from my side of the family anyway
Summer07Bride
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
We each made up our own lists and put them together. They wound up being more or less even. My side invited more family; his side invited more friends.
brittny817
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
We both have huge families so to be fair we told them to invite who they want...wish we did give more guidlines bc our final guest list 330!
Maybe you should try to explain to your mom that FH's family is bigger and they really need the space This might not really even bother her, some people tend to get really sensitive when the wedding planning is going on and just get worked up over things that normally wouldn't bother them.
