FH's family is HUGE. My family is not so big. When we started the guest list I gave my mom 65 spots to fill (because I knew she probably couldnt invite any more than that anyway) and I gave FH's parents 100 spots to fill, leaving FH and I onyl about 15 to 20 spots for our friends.
Anyway....now, after all this time....my mom comes complaining to me that his mom got soooo many more spots for guests and she has 8 more friends from work that she wants to invite. The problem is -- we have NO more room AT ALL. Theres no way. I told her a long time ago I'd put those 8 people on the 'B' List (which I did),but she's biiiiitching that its not fair that FH's family got so many more spots. The thing is, they have such a big family. If I had given them an equal number of spots, more than half of FH's family wouldnt have been invited!
Did you give equal amounts of guests to each family, or did you split it according to family size? Am I wrong here?
Munchkn16
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
we did it by family size, but our families are more or less the same size anyway... when you say you have no more room, do you mean space in your hall or in your budget?
AeroJenn
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
Posted by Munchkn16
we did it by family size, but our families are more or less the same size anyway... when you say you have no more room, do you mean space in your hall or in your budget?
in our budget
july06bride
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
Posted by AeroJenn
Posted by Munchkn16
we did it by family size, but our families are more or less the same size anyway... when you say you have no more room, do you mean space in your hall or in your budget?
in our budget
who is paying for the wedding?
Maybe you can tell your mom that they will be invited once people start saying no-
or if you are paying for the wedding yourself, maybe they can pay for their extra guests
madseason
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
Posted by july06bride
Posted by AeroJenn
Posted by Munchkn16
we did it by family size, but our families are more or less the same size anyway... when you say you have no more room, do you mean space in your hall or in your budget?
in our budget
who is paying for the wedding?
Maybe you can tell your mom that they will be invited once people start saying no-
or if you are paying for the wedding yourself, maybe they can pay for their extra guests
i think that is a really good idea!! Im doing something similar with my mom bc there is just too many people
Fara
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
My FH's family is alot bigger than mine too. No one asked me how many people they can invite, they just gave me guest lists. However, my FMIL invited everyone with a guest and my mom did not. I think that some people (cousins, aunts, and uncles) who don't have steady boyfriends or girlfriends don't need to be invited with guests. Besides, it is their family (it's not like they won't know anyone).
Sorry, I had to get that out.
Anyway, a friend of mine told both parents that they were aloud to invite so many guests and that they could invite more but had to pay for the extras.
Let me know what you decide.
sassygirl9
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
Now I feel like we are being mean. We are paying for the entire wedding and we let his side (cause my family is flying in) that they will not be allowed to invite any friends we don't know. We did not give them a choice of a list. We are sticking to close fam and friend.s
Becks526
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
We based it on who was paying more (my family) and whose family is larger (again, mine). My parents gave us money for all of their side and their friends. His parents gave money for their side (which is much smaller) and their friends. FH and I are paying for our friends. I don't think half of my family will come anyway (they all live in the midwest) so more room for our friends!
portjeffbride
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
maybe it's just me, but there's no way I'd allow my mother's co-workers to attend my wedding.... Would they even recognize you if you were standing in back of them at the post office? Likely not.
My mother wanted me to invite certain distant relatives who have sent me a christmas card every year for the last 3 decades (all the time mispelling my name). They live about 10 min from where I grew up and I would NEVER be able to pick any one of them out of the crowd. I've never been to their house. They simply cannot be invited...
AeroJenn
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
Posted by portjeffbride
maybe it's just me, but there's no way I'd allow my mother's co-workers to attend my wedding.... Would they even recognize you if you were standing in back of them at the post office? Likely not.
My mother wanted me to invite certain distant relatives who have sent me a christmas card every year for the last 3 decades (all the time mispelling my name). They live about 10 min from where I grew up and I would NEVER be able to pick any one of them out of the crowd. I've never been to their house. They simply cannot be invited...
I actually work with my mother during the winter and summer breaks, so I do know these ladies. BUT I dont know them well, and I think she's inviting them because she feels obligated
portjeffbride
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
Posted by AeroJenn
Posted by portjeffbride
maybe it's just me, but there's no way I'd allow my mother's co-workers to attend my wedding.... Would they even recognize you if you were standing in back of them at the post office? Likely not.
My mother wanted me to invite certain distant relatives who have sent me a christmas card every year for the last 3 decades (all the time mispelling my name). They live about 10 min from where I grew up and I would NEVER be able to pick any one of them out of the crowd. I've never been to their house. They simply cannot be invited...
I actually work with my mother during the winter and summer breaks, so I do know these ladies. BUT I dont know them well, and I think she's inviting them because she feels obligated
oh yik, that's more complicated... so it's almost an extended work family of YOURS. I had difficulty drawing the line on whom to invite from work... especially since FH and I met at work. We ended up inviting almost everyone I dunno.... I wish someone had sage advice for me in that dept....
Espo22
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
FH's family is ALOOOOOOT bigger than mine, its not even funny...Hmmm I didnt give anyone a certain amount they can invite...I am just taking everyones lists of who they are inviting and basically that is it, as long as we dont go over our maximum lol
thelastresort
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
We just had a total free for all...invite whoever you want and then we sat down and cut off the people who we never see (like some of my mom's cousins). But that would be why we have over 300 people on our guest list. Not the smartest move we've ever made.
neener1211
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
we did it by family size as well...we made a list of both families, then went over it to see who we could cut...I have about 140 on my list, and FH has about 50. It's very uneven, but that's just how our families are...
ksl268
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
FH's family is much larger than mine. We made the first guest list to get an idea of how many people we would invite. We asked each set of parents to compile a list of anyone who may have been left off.
rkl1130
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
FH and I both have equally large families and both sides are inviting similar amounts.
My friend, however, when she got married gave her mom a certain number and her MIL a number and anything above that they paid for themselves.
SchmearandGoose
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
We had our parents pay for however many guests they wanted to invite and we did the same for our guests. With everyone responsible for their own list, no one could complain
Would your mom be willing to pay for her extra guests?
lacey&mark
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Re: Guest List question -- did you do this?
is your fmil inviting her work friends? if not, maybe you can explain to your mom that each side got enough to invite their families only. if your fmil had enough spots that she was able to invite friends from work on top of the big family, then maybe your mom has reason to be mad. otherwise, i never understood why friends of parents are expected to be invited (unless the parents are paying for everything and thats what they want, but even then it bothers me).
