My fiance and I decided not to invite children to the wedding. Recently his mother has been asking if her cousin could bring her children because she does not have a husband and she feels bad for her. At first my fiance agreed with me telling her that you can't invite some children and not others, that people would be offended that their children were not invited when they see others running around. Last night we had a huge fight because all of a sudden he sees his mom's point and I'm a heartless bridezilla for disagreeing with his mother. What dop you think? Any advice would be helpful.
BlushingBride714
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Re: Guest List question- please help!
I say stick to your guns. We aren't inviting children either because we don't want to have them running around. Besides, even if her cousin had a husband, he would have been invited to the wedding too. So husband or not, you would be still running into the same problem of what to do with the kids. Why can't she get a babysitter?
winterwhite
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Re: Guest List question- please help!
I don't think your being a bridezilla. I think you need to do what you feel is right.
Even if that means having a fight or two. But remember pick your battles carefully.
I think it depends on the guests. Will people really get offended? Can you explain a special circumstance to them? Why can't she just hire a babysitter?
hope it works out
nifheim
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Re: Guest List question- please help!
Nope your not a bridezilla. We wanted kids at the wedding at first. We figured only four kids wouldn't be so bad. THEN we realized FH's cousins all have kids too so that would be a extra three kids per couple (4 couples) then we realize oh even if its half price or some are free think of the crying because its a evening wedding.
SO NO KIDS!!!!
Kids do not find weddings fun and parents usually rather not have their kids with them because they like to have fun and be with adults on occason. My sister in law said if my niece and nephew wasnt' the fg and rb they wouldn't bring the kids! Invite her with a guest. If she wants to bring one kid then fine or maybe she wants to bring a nice new companion. That is what we are doing with a single mom (my cousin) she can bring her kid or someone else.
Print this out to FH. Realize that kids at weddings especially at night do not have fun after the first hour and get restless and cranky. They want attention and seek it at all costs. Been to a few weddings that I had to leave because some brat was throwing a tantrum on the dance floor and the parents were too uninterested to deal with it. Now imagine bringing a four kids and having one adult parent. NO FUN!
dawnbridetobe
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Re: Guest List question- please help!
I am having the same problem-In my opinion you can't invite some children and not others. I personally don't want children running around my reception and screaming during my ceremony. I know this is going to be an issue with FILs. When I was a child I never was invited to weddings, so to me it seems natural to only invite adults. We are dealing with this drama now-I am waiting for FH to talk with his parents and let them know how we feel and then just watch as the sh*t hits the fan!
libby2595
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Re: Guest List question- please help!
i'm going to respond from the point of being a former single-mom:
stick to your guns. there were MANY festivities that i was invited to that i couldn't bring my son to. i did not take offense. also, if she's a single-mother and goes to a wedding with her kid(s), she is the ONLY person responsible for the child(ren). this means she cannot have a good time, because she is being 'mom'. if you fmil wants her to have a good time at her wedding, she should help find a sitter. this way the cousin can let her hair down and enjoy her cousin's wedding like an ADULT.
those are my $.02.
hth and good luck
divabride
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Re: Guest List question- please help!
I ran into the same problem that you did. Stick to your guns because as mean as this sounds, its easier to have one guest upset that her children arent invited, than a bunch of guests that will be upset that they couldnt bring their kids. If she truly has her heart set on attending the wedding, she will find a babysitter. She has more than enough time to find one.
kateretak2
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Re: Guest List question- please help!
Wow, the stars must be aligned because I've been dealing with the same exact issue these past 2 days. Basically my only older cousin has a son that many of my aunt's and uncles feel should be invited to the wedding because he's 'a core part of the family'. My response was, there are 7 children of FH's cousins that are pretty valued as well but we understandably will not pick and choose who's invited. It's an adult night time reception and the only children invited are neices, nephews and cousins, which isn't many. Cutting it off at cousin's children is the most fair way for us to handle it.
Good luck, it can be tough standing up to relatives but if it's not an issue you want to compromise on stick to your guns.
ellebelle1
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Re: Guest List question- please help!
Bat-Mitzvah's are for kids, Weddings are for adults
SusanAdam
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Re: Guest List question- please help!
Sounds like a lot of us are going through this. I just had a fight with FH last night over this very issue because we are getting our STDs in order to be mailed out. At first we figured we would just leave it up to the parents if they want to bring their kids, but the more I thought about it the more I worried about the parents not having a good time and the kids running wild. We are having an evening wedding and reception and FH and I have several cousins that have children under the age of 5. We have also almost reached the max capacity that our room will hold without even counting kids on top of that. He said that he wants to leave it up to his cousin's if they want to bring their kids or not and to not be the bad guy since what happens if they can't find a babysitter. It's not fair that I say no to my cousins and he says yes to his. I can just see the next round of fighting that will occur. I already got the 'Fine...do whatever you want!' from my mom after I told her that at this point there isn't any room left and I think it would be best to keep this as an adult only affair. Yikes...with weddings it seems like you can never, ever please everyone!
Fate
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Re: Guest List question- please help!
Thanks for your advice, at least I know that i'm not alone. I'm so tired of fighting about this with fiance.
bethb
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Re: Guest List question- please help!
What about a compromise -couldn't this woman be invited with an 'adult' guest -a friend or a date, that way she wouldn't have to be there alone, and you could stick to your no kids policy?
faithandkevin
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Re: Guest List question- please help!
Definitely stick to your guns. It's not fair to invite some kids and not all of them!
NowAndForever2012
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Re: Guest List question- please help!
we are not having children at our wedding either. Our wedding is at night so I think that the children will be ready to wind down. A wedding is no place for a sleepy children. Stick to your guns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
portjeffbride
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Re: Guest List question- please help!
we're having kids at our wedding, but it is TOTALLY upto the bride and groom whether or not they come. They really do totally change the ambiance of the reception.
The only compromise I can come up with is if this woman's children are all older (10 or more), you may be able to get away with letting them in, while not inviting other guests' 3 year olds...
But it definitely is true that you can't invite SOME kids, and not ALL. That likely would offend other parents... (what you think my kids are poorly behaved??!!! )
blu6385
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Re: Guest List question- please help!
i think your right ... me and FH had this convo and we both agreed ... and i have OOT guest that have kids and they arent allow to bring them to the RH... i think i am going to provide them with a list of babysiters!!
