Guest list vent

I just took a look at the draft of our guest list that FH sent over to me. In looking at this, I see that there are a few of his mother's friends on there. Um, excuse me but there is no way they will be invited. First off, she better not even expect me to invite any of her friends when number 1. She herself has never been the nicest person to me anyway and number 2. she is not contributing to any part of our wedding. I am going to tell FH to tell her we can not invite her friends. If she has a problem, then she needs to take it up with me.

Also, the whole list is basically his fathers side.. fine but there is going to have to be some cut backs here b/c already with this draft including his mother's friends there is 158 on here and we really wanted to cut it down to about 120 the most.

anyway.. just venting..

I don't think you can expect your mother-in-law not to invite any of her friends.

My guest list is mostly my parents' and FH's parents' friends.

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Posted by Bridex100

I don't think you can expect your mother-in-law not to invite any of her friends.

My guest list is mostly my parents' and FH's parents' friends.

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i slightly agree with this. i mean if she was 'nicer' to you, you probably wouldn't mind letting some of her friends come. it sounds a little bit like you may be using the guest list as a tool of revenge.

rather than make a big stink--why not just put them on the 'B' list and see if you have room---instead of immediately telling her that she has to 'take it up' with you. this will only cause unnecessary drama. JMHO

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Posted by MJDoc12

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Posted by Bridex100

I don't think you can expect your mother-in-law not to invite any of her friends.

My guest list is mostly my parents' and FH's parents' friends.

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i slightly agree with this. i mean if she was 'nicer' to you, you probably wouldn't mind letting some of her friends come. it sounds a little bit like you may be using the guest list as a tool of revenge.

rather than make a big stink--why not just put them on the 'B' list and see if you have room---instead of immediately telling her that she has to 'take it up' with you. this will only cause unnecessary drama. JMHO

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I agree.

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Posted by MJDoc12

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Posted by Bridex100

I don't think you can expect your mother-in-law not to invite any of her friends.

My guest list is mostly my parents' and FH's parents' friends.

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i slightly agree with this. i mean if she was 'nicer' to you, you probably wouldn't mind letting some of her friends come. it sounds a little bit like you may be using the guest list as a tool of revenge.

rather than make a big stink--why not just put them on the 'B' list and see if you have room---instead of immediately telling her that she has to 'take it up' with you. this will only cause unnecessary drama. JMHO

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Well, I can see your point. Good idea to add them to the B list and then take it from there. We are way over what we anticipated so, we'll see.
No need to cause more drama especially when she has no problem creating any drama where she can..

It's a long story ... the relationship we have.. and not going to get into it on here.. just in case..but even my FH agrees.. we won't be having her too much in our lives in the future b/c of her behavior..

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Posted by MrsWmson2be

I would tell her that I have no problem with her wanting to invite some of her friends, but that due to your budget, you would need her to help you pay for them financially. My MIL paid for all of her friends and family. IMHO...I think it's pretty rude for her to tell you who to invite to your wedding and also expect you to pay for them.

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I totally agree. We will try saying something like this and then see if she offers to pay, if not.. then oh well.. I mean we are paying for this wedding all by ourselves here..

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Posted by BellaEyes

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Posted by MrsWmson2be

I would tell her that I have no problem with her wanting to invite some of her friends, but that due to your budget, you would need her to help you pay for them financially. My MIL paid for all of her friends and family. IMHO...I think it's pretty rude for her to tell you who to invite to your wedding and also expect you to pay for them.

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I totally agree. We will try saying something like this and then see if she offers to pay, if not.. then oh well.. I mean we are paying for this wedding all by ourselves here..

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we are paying for our wedding alone also and we have several guests that our parents are inviting. Aside from the fact that this is your day it is also special to our parents and they want to show you guys off. (and trust me I am NO fan of my FMIL either)

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Posted by tracy2246

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Posted by BellaEyes

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Posted by MrsWmson2be

I would tell her that I have no problem with her wanting to invite some of her friends, but that due to your budget, you would need her to help you pay for them financially. My MIL paid for all of her friends and family. IMHO...I think it's pretty rude for her to tell you who to invite to your wedding and also expect you to pay for them.

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I totally agree. We will try saying something like this and then see if she offers to pay, if not.. then oh well.. I mean we are paying for this wedding all by ourselves here..

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we are paying for our wedding alone also and we have several guests that our parents are inviting. Aside from the fact that this is your day it is also special to our parents and they want to show you guys off. (and trust me I am NO fan of my FMIL either)

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hehe I hear that..

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Posted by BellaEyes

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Posted by tracy2246

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Posted by BellaEyes

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Posted by MrsWmson2be

I would tell her that I have no problem with her wanting to invite some of her friends, but that due to your budget, you would need her to help you pay for them financially. My MIL paid for all of her friends and family. IMHO...I think it's pretty rude for her to tell you who to invite to your wedding and also expect you to pay for them.

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I totally agree. We will try saying something like this and then see if she offers to pay, if not.. then oh well.. I mean we are paying for this wedding all by ourselves here..

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we are paying for our wedding alone also and we have several guests that our parents are inviting. Aside from the fact that this is your day it is also special to our parents and they want to show you guys off. (and trust me I am NO fan of my FMIL either)

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hehe I hear that..

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Think of it like this....(tok me too long to figure this out) if you fight with her, you fight with him eventually and then you are even more miz then you started....see if shecan come cocoa with some cash and if not ask her to limit the amount of people...plus the bright side is the more people around to distract he the less time she will have to anno you

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Posted by tracy2246

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Posted by BellaEyes

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Posted by tracy2246

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Posted by BellaEyes

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Posted by MrsWmson2be

I would tell her that I have no problem with her wanting to invite some of her friends, but that due to your budget, you would need her to help you pay for them financially. My MIL paid for all of her friends and family. IMHO...I think it's pretty rude for her to tell you who to invite to your wedding and also expect you to pay for them.

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I totally agree. We will try saying something like this and then see if she offers to pay, if not.. then oh well.. I mean we are paying for this wedding all by ourselves here..

---

we are paying for our wedding alone also and we have several guests that our parents are inviting. Aside from the fact that this is your day it is also special to our parents and they want to show you guys off. (and trust me I am NO fan of my FMIL either)

---

hehe I hear that..

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Think of it like this....(tok me too long to figure this out) if you fight with her, you fight with him eventually and then you are even more miz then you started....see if shecan come cocoa with some cash and if not ask her to limit the amount of people...plus the bright side is the more people around to distract he the less time she will have to anno you

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Very true... VERY true

i just wanted to add that i DO understand your pain. my FFIL hates my guts and the feeling is mutual. (that's a loooong dramatic story) anyway--i let him hate me all he wants, cause in the end i'm STILL marrying his son--the man of my dreams and we are happy and it p*sses him off cause he's miserable!! all they contribute to my wedding is drama and snarky comments. i seriously doubt that his dad would try and demand we put ppl on the guest list--but if he did i'd just say 'We'll see---family comes first' so i am fully prepared for him to come at me with it--but i just kill 'em with kindness.

so hang in there!! guest lists can be crazy--especially when others try and slide a few 'extras' on there. good luck with it!!!

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Posted by MJDoc12

i just wanted to add that i DO understand your pain. my FFIL hates my guts and the feeling is mutual. (that's a loooong dramatic story) anyway--i let him hate me all he wants, cause in the end i'm STILL marrying his son--the man of my dreams and we are happy and it p*sses him off cause he's miserable!! all they contribute to my wedding is drama and snarky comments. i seriously doubt that his dad would try and demand we put ppl on the guest list--but if he did i'd just say 'We'll see---family comes first' so i am fully prepared for him to come at me with it--but i just kill 'em with kindness.

so hang in there!! guest lists can be crazy--especially when others try and slide a few 'extras' on there. good luck with it!!!

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Thank you love!
We all have our FIL problems to some extent. I know I am not the only one. Well, I have a few months until my invites actually go out so..I am going to hang tight for now. Thanks all for your advice and replies!!