Guest List woes (vent-very long long, sorry)
Okay, so I'm having guest list issues. I really want to have a small wedding, meanwhile FH had 300 people at his Bar Mitzvah!
Anyway, the real issue is that I have a HUGE family and he has a small one. (I have 26 first cousins, he has 4, to give one example). I think the wedding should be cut along the same lines as far as family or closeness to us. So 'First Cousins and only second cousins we're really close to'. HE thinks he should be based on number, he gets to invite so many, i get to invite so many, but I think that ruins the intimacy, and I think intimacy is more important than number. We had all of these arguments about this. I have a HUGE family. I could easily come up with 500 people, just in my family, but I wanted a wedding of no more than 150 -200, total (the smaller, the better).
So FH put basically his whole family on the list (including people he barely knows and never sees) and I only put people I'm close to, despite my large family. So the other night we were arguing and he was saying I'd have 200 people at the wedding, and he'd have 20, so he was really obnoxious and he was like 'count the list, count the list! would you just count already?' He was convinced I'd have so many more people than he had.
I counted.
My family : 47 invitations
His family: 62 invitations!!!!!!!!
So, still not admitting defeat, he said 'well count how any people we think will actually come', and he still had more!
Ugh..And my family is SO much bigger than his. I mean AT LEAST 5 times the size. So he still isn't reticent about it or anything, but he did say he'd cut his list and said I could invite more people if I wanted. I mean, I think if one of us has more people it should be me. I don't care about the numbers at all, but my family is SO much bigger, and I'm closer with more people than he is. He's worried about what his family will think if the wedding is predominantly my family. Now we found out ti won't be. But I'm worried they still won't let him cut the list. They were literally screaming at us. And they're not paying for the wedding, we are..and I don;t see why we ahve to invite his mom's cousins and their children, etc. Especially since FH doesn't even know them. UGH
I mean I literally got screamed at so many times over my engagemnt announcements. Since I have such a large family, I printed up these little cards to announce our engagmeent and it was only for immediate family (Aunts and Uncles, Grandparents, etc..I only sent it to a couple of my first cousins, and all of his). And We're STILL getting screamed at for not sending it to FMIL's cousins and their kids. I was like 'Well, you can call them, if they need to know.' *Ugh* it's so frustrating. I was telling FFIL that they're expensive to print and send and he was saying 'well you'll get gifts from these people' and then last week when FH commented that we hadn't gotten any gifts from his family, FFIL said 'Well, people don't really send engagement gifts in our family' OMG I was SO pissed off....AUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
Edited: cause I type too fast when I'm upset!![]()
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Anyway, the real issue is that I have a HUGE family and he has a small one. (I have 26 first cousins, he has 4, to give one example). I think the wedding should be cut along the same lines as far as family or closeness to us. So 'First Cousins and only second cousins we're really close to'. HE thinks he should be based on number, he gets to invite so many, i get to invite so many, but I think that ruins the intimacy, and I think intimacy is more important than number. We had all of these arguments about this. I have a HUGE family. I could easily come up with 500 people, just in my family, but I wanted a wedding of no more than 150 -200, total (the smaller, the better).
So FH put basically his whole family on the list (including people he barely knows and never sees) and I only put people I'm close to, despite my large family. So the other night we were arguing and he was saying I'd have 200 people at the wedding, and he'd have 20, so he was really obnoxious and he was like 'count the list, count the list! would you just count already?' He was convinced I'd have so many more people than he had.
I counted.
My family : 47 invitations
His family: 62 invitations!!!!!!!!
So, still not admitting defeat, he said 'well count how any people we think will actually come', and he still had more!
Ugh..And my family is SO much bigger than his. I mean AT LEAST 5 times the size. So he still isn't reticent about it or anything, but he did say he'd cut his list and said I could invite more people if I wanted. I mean, I think if one of us has more people it should be me. I don't care about the numbers at all, but my family is SO much bigger, and I'm closer with more people than he is. He's worried about what his family will think if the wedding is predominantly my family. Now we found out ti won't be. But I'm worried they still won't let him cut the list. They were literally screaming at us. And they're not paying for the wedding, we are..and I don;t see why we ahve to invite his mom's cousins and their children, etc. Especially since FH doesn't even know them. UGH
I mean I literally got screamed at so many times over my engagemnt announcements. Since I have such a large family, I printed up these little cards to announce our engagmeent and it was only for immediate family (Aunts and Uncles, Grandparents, etc..I only sent it to a couple of my first cousins, and all of his). And We're STILL getting screamed at for not sending it to FMIL's cousins and their kids. I was like 'Well, you can call them, if they need to know.' *Ugh* it's so frustrating. I was telling FFIL that they're expensive to print and send and he was saying 'well you'll get gifts from these people' and then last week when FH commented that we hadn't gotten any gifts from his family, FFIL said 'Well, people don't really send engagement gifts in our family' OMG I was SO pissed off....AUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
Edited: cause I type too fast when I'm upset!
