I dated my 'what if' guy about 4 years ago, and things were pretty serious. We had been talking about marriage, and things went a bit haywire and things got blown out of proportion and it came to an end.
Well...we still somewhat kept in touch...every few months or so. There's this song, I think it's called 'Another Auld Lang Sine' (sp?) that they play around this time of year, and he used to wonder if that was going to be how things turned out with us. The song came on the radio they other day, and my cell phone rings...it's him saying 'do you have (such and such) radio station on?' which I did. We talked, and he started really saying some deep things, but also something that freaked me out. He said that he sat in his car outside my house one day because he had to just 'see' me and my son. (He also saw FH and said 'I can't figure out what you see in him'.
I cannot stop thinking about the conversation.
Maribelle7777
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Re: Had a 'run-in' with my 'what if' guy...
Wow!
To be honest, I'd be a bit creeped out by the fact that he sat in front of your house, waiting to see you and your son. I'd also be insulted that he said he doesn't know what you see in your FH. To me, that's just plain rude and 'sour grapes' sounding.
But that's JMO.
Claud2001
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Re: Had a 'run-in' with my 'what if' guy...
Yikes! I hate having run-in's with anyone that I don't really talk to anymore - boyfriends or girlfriends alike - it ALWAYS leaves me so unsettled and then I rehash things from the past I'm getting nasaueous just thinking about it!
I feel for you, I really, really do. It sucks to have lingering feelings for someone. But, the truth is...you DO see something in your FH, and that is all that should matter...not what your Ex thinks you should or shouldn't see.
He is just feeling 'sour grapes' IMO. Has he moved on? Is he married or dating anyone? I think if he's not involved in a relationship of his own, it's easy to sit and judge you in yours....I mean, doesn't he have anything better to do with his time than sit outside your house? Not to be mean, but isn't that a little stalker-esque?
BTW - I LOVE that song, but it always makes me think of a certain 'what if' guy in my life. It's by Dan Folgelberg, and the title is 'Same Old Lang Syne.'
Claud2001
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Re: Had a 'run-in' with my 'what if' guy...
Maribelle - too funny! We said the same things...I hadn't even read your reply, b/c mine was taking too long to write!
The Original 2nd-time-around
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Re: Had a 'run-in' with my 'what if' guy...
Claud...isn't it a great song? I just wish I could listen to it without the 'rehashing'.
And yes, stalker-esque (or whatever word you used! ) it is! In a strange way I thought it was sweet, but also sad and a bit sick.
susans
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Re: Had a 'run-in' with my 'what if' guy...
I think it's one thing for a guy to call you up and say he happened to hear a song that made him think of you and get nostalgic, etc., etc., but
This
He said that he sat in his car outside my house one day because he had to just 'see' me and my son.
is creepy in stalker kind of way
And THIS
(He also saw FH and said 'I can't figure out what you see in him'.
should have been seen as an insult.
I'd be damned before any man say anything negative about the man I chose to marry, ESPECIALLY if that man was an ex. and I would have been the first to tell him that both that comment AND his sitting in front of your house were TOTALLY overstepping his bounds.
Maribelle7777
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Re: Had a 'run-in' with my 'what if' guy...
Posted by Claud2001
Maribelle - too funny! We said the same things...I hadn't even read your reply, b/c mine was taking too long to write!
Great minds think alike
wenndypoo
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Re: Had a 'run-in' with my 'what if' guy...
Sounds like he still has alot of feelings for you. Does FI know? The 'I don't know what you see in him' comment was probably jealousy.
Weird....
Alvatorre74
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Re: Had a 'run-in' with my 'what if' guy...
How do u feel about Him? IMO, he shouldn't have the right to call u up whenever he pleases...(I would of changed my number a long time ago) How does FI feel about it?
The Original 2nd-time-around
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Re: Had a 'run-in' with my 'what if' guy...
My FI does NOT know about this call. I usually tell him when the ex calls, but I didn't mention this call. He'd be pi$$ed and I don't necessarily blame him
wenndypoo
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Re: Had a 'run-in' with my 'what if' guy...
I'd be pissed too, especially since this guy still has feelings for you. Have you considered just cutting him off all together? Sounds like it could be trouble.....
KCDC
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Re: Had a 'run-in' with my 'what if' guy...
Eh, know what? Tell him there will always be a place in your heart for him (you obviously have a history) and tell him you made your decision, your happy with it, and for him to move on.
In his mind you were the one that got away. Just make sure he doesnt think you are opening the door to anything.
And dont tell your husband. Some things are better left unsaid. Especially around the holidays. Who wants the aggravation. It's a macho guy thing, you know how they are!
HearzBellz
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Re: Had a 'run-in' with my 'what if' guy...
hmmmmm. That's a little creepy to me, but I understand why it would affect you so.
You have a life without him, and I guess it hurts him a bit, but he needs to understand that it is indeed without him.
Samanthas Mom
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Re: Had a 'run-in' with my 'what if' guy...
I agree w/ Maribelle's post too sounds a little creepy to me
