Anyway.. My mom and my bridesmaids planned a beautifal surprise shower for me and everything was perfect. It really was a great day and I got more presents than I could have ever asked for.
I have a situation w/ one of my bridesmaids that I am not sure what to do about... She lives out of state and my bridal party and FH tried to contact her to include her in the planning of my shower. Anyway, the invitation came back (b/c I had her old address in my address book) and when she called my apartment, my FH told her to call my Matron of honor b/c she was planning the shower. She did not call anyone. My shower came and went and no phone calls. My fh showed me emails that they were emailing back and forth and she was saying 'I am going to call the maid of honor today...'.
I come into work this morning and there is an email waiting for me from her.. saying how she had now idea about my shower. I emailed her and said that I was very disappointed b/c she made zero attempt to be part of this. She said she thinks I am wrong, that I should be upset w/ my FH and matron of honor. I am so confused.. sorry so long.. Kelly
Summerbride04
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Re: Had Shower on Saturday! and BM vent...
Glad you had a great shower! Sorry to hear about your BM though. But it sounds like if she really wanted to be a part of your shower she would have been.
janwinterbridejoy
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Re: Had Shower on Saturday! and BM vent...
im glad you had a great time. im sorry to hear about your bm not being a part of it
KelOct04
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Re: Had Shower on Saturday! and BM vent...
Thanks
oakslady
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Re: Had Shower on Saturday! and BM vent...
sounds like she is a flake - not to be mean or anything but we all know a few - i wouldnt count on her for anything though - if the other bms are ok with the fact she isnt going to participate it should be ok
KelOct04
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Re: Had Shower on Saturday! and BM vent...
She was the last one to order her bm dress too.. I kept asking her and asking her.. and then finally I had all of my bridesmaids order their dresses. When I told her the dresses were already ordered, she was crying and was so upset that she wasn't going to be in my wedding. So the bridal shop let me add her dress in. I guess we have to see what happens. It should not be this hard. Thanks for letting me vent!
Janine24
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Re: Had Shower on Saturday! and BM vent...
kelly...glad to hear all went well with the shower...
I think every bridal party has one girl that is a little flakey...
hsdfl
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Re: Had Shower on Saturday! and BM vent...
Glad you had a good shower and got a lot of gifts! You can't please everyone! I can't see her side? Was their more to it? She said she would get in touch with MOH! What's the problem?
KelOct04
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Re: Had Shower on Saturday! and BM vent...
That was her side. That's it. I know it must be hard for her b/c she is in Florida and we are all here. I keep thinking that I was too hard on her. I am trying to keep everyone happy. We haven't spoken since the Monday after my shower (June 28). I probably should call her but I feel like I am the one doing all of the work. At this point, I think I am going to send her an invitation, and let her know when her bm dress is in and let her do the rest. Is that too mean?
kgermano
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Re: Had Shower on Saturday! and BM vent...
That was her side. That's it. I know it must be hard for her b/c she is in Florida and we are all here. I keep thinking that I was too hard on her. I am trying to keep everyone happy. We haven't spoken since the Monday after my shower (June 28). I probably should call her but I feel like I am the one doing all of the work. At this point, I think I am going to send her an invitation, and let her know when her bm dress is in and let her do the rest. Is that too mean?
I don't think that is too mean. I am in a somewhat similar situation. My shower was also in June 27 and it was so fun but 2 of my bm did not come. It was their b-day (their twins) so they said they were in Foxwoods all weekend and could not make it back in time. The thing is if they were the very reliable kind of friends I would be like ok understandable. But my cousin came from Jersey on that same day was also her b-day and she made it out there. Now I did not know about my shower but my FI was so pissed that he told me a few days before that they were not coming. Since the shower they have not contacted me in anyway to say sorry we couldn't be there blah blah. The thing is that I have been to the baby showers they have had, to all their kids functions, all their own b-days, holidays and everything else. Anyway I don't know what to do..I do think that me and you both need to tell these bm' where to go with themselves. A wedding is stressful enough without bm drama. Good Luck
KelOct04
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Re: Had Shower on Saturday! and BM vent...
Posted by kgermano
That was her side. That's it. I know it must be hard for her b/c she is in Florida and we are all here. I keep thinking that I was too hard on her. I am trying to keep everyone happy. We haven't spoken since the Monday after my shower (June 28). I probably should call her but I feel like I am the one doing all of the work. At this point, I think I am going to send her an invitation, and let her know when her bm dress is in and let her do the rest. Is that too mean?
I don't think that is too mean. I am in a somewhat similar situation. My shower was also in June 27 and it was so fun but 2 of my bm did not come. It was their b-day (their twins) so they said they were in Foxwoods all weekend and could not make it back in time. The thing is if they were the very reliable kind of friends I would be like ok understandable. But my cousin came from Jersey on that same day was also her b-day and she made it out there. Now I did not know about my shower but my FI was so pissed that he told me a few days before that they were not coming. Since the shower they have not contacted me in anyway to say sorry we couldn't be there blah blah. The thing is that I have been to the baby showers they have had, to all their kids functions, all their own b-days, holidays and everything else. Anyway I don't know what to do..I do think that me and you both need to tell these bm' where to go with themselves. A wedding is stressful enough without bm drama. Good Luck
I know what you mean.. I still haven't heard from her since the monday after my shower (june29th). Should I be the one to call her? And today is my birthday--I am waiting to see if she calls/emails me.
jessnyc711
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Re: Had Shower on Saturday! and BM vent...
this is one of the reasons why I want to really plan my own shower because I don't want anyone to feel left out or offended or other BM disliking each other because they didn't help, my sister lives in FL and can't make it up here for my shower, since she doesn't have much vacation time and she's coming up in August for the wedding of course, but I understand, It's a lot being a BM and I don't want to be one of those brides that Expects to much from the BM and then get into arguments and miscommunication etc.
fairylise
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Re: Had Shower on Saturday! and BM vent...
that's terrible and one of my biggest worries since all my BM know each other and are from LI but I have one BM who lives in Buffalo- hopefully we can avoid that since she knows all of them and they are hopefully communicating! But on a better note glad you had a great shower!
KelOct04
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Re: Had Shower on Saturday! and BM vent...
Still haven't heard from her.. What should I do? I have been waiting to see if she calls me on her own and no call or email. I know that I have to call her... I am worried that she has decided not to be part of my wedding and did not tell me!
Maribelle7777
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Re: Had Shower on Saturday! and BM vent...
Kel glad to hear you had a great shower!
Don't let your flaky BM ruin it or anything else for you!
Sounds like she's just flaking out but I would call her on the lying part. If she talked to your FH and emailed with him and then never called the MOH and said she did.....well that's just B.S.
Maybe she feels overwhelmed being so far away and can't get up there for the shower but geez...no need to lie about it.
I would let it go until after the wedding though, if you were going to call her on it.
Either way, you had a great day and that's what matters in the end
1017Bride
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Re: Had Shower on Saturday! and BM vent...
Glad you had a good shower. Sorry about what happened with the BM.
alfordk9
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Re: Had Shower on Saturday! and BM vent...
Weddings are way to stressful for flaky BM's. so if you are mad at her you have right to be mad. Somebody told me weddings bring out the best and worst in people and you never know what you are going to get till you get in the situation.
May152005
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Re: Had Shower on Saturday! and BM vent...
Even though she's wrong, I think you should be the bigger person & call her. The last thing you want is for this to go on a few more months & then you'll have to deal with it a couple of weeks before your wedding day. Goodluck & let us know how it goes.
