half of my family wont be attending

Princess92406 Posted: Jun 18, 2006 08:41 AM

half of my family wont be attending

so when i booked my hall, i called my mother who is jewish, but does not practice AT ALL (i converted to roman catholic, and never celebrated much of the holidays as a child)..i told her the date i wanted to book was the sunday after rosh hashannah (sorry if i spelled wrong)
she told me go ahead and book, its not the day of..(her entire family is religious except for her)...so i book it...a year and a half later..i find out there are 2 full days of the holiday and my aunts and uncles and all my cousins will not be attending, because they all live in jersey and you cannot drive that nite...
ya know, im religious, and i would never ask someone to sacrifice their belief for ME...but..i did offer to book a hotel for 3 days for them to stay in, so that they could wait till after sun down to drive to the hall...sorry so long, im so upset... ..so the interesting thing is, when i talked to my aunt she isnt upset with me shes upset with my mother, because 'she shouldve known better'...but yet SHE STILL DIDNT MAKE IT TO MY SHOWER LAST WEEK!...ok alil prewedding madness...im gonna have a breakdown lol

nickipa Posted: Jun 18, 2006 08:53 AM

Re: half of my family wont be attending

im sorry you are going thru this!

Goldi1021 Posted: Jun 18, 2006 10:15 AM

Re: half of my family wont be attending

For people who are religious, it may be a lot more than just driving on High Holidays and the Sabbath. They are not permitted to do many things especially involving electricity and what the scriptures consider 'work'. If they are true observers, the odds are they would need to have kosher food or access to kosher food as well. It is rather detailed and not so cut and dry.

ewickens Posted: Jun 18, 2006 10:49 AM

Re: half of my family wont be attending

So sorry you are going through this.

DUCKS2001 Posted: Jun 18, 2006 11:02 AM

Re: half of my family wont be attending

so sorry honey

pullmandi Posted: Jun 18, 2006 12:14 PM

Re: half of my family wont be attending

I have to say, I understand about people being religious, and I certainly respect that. However, I think PEOPLE come first, no matter what you believe. I'm a vegetarian and a strong animal rights supporter but if I go to someone's house for dinner and they forget that I don't eat meat, I still eat what I am served even if it is something so vile to me like veal. People's feelings and family always must come first. My strict Catholic family at first was totally scandalized abput my cousin marrying a Jewish man because they are not supposed to worship at another church, but they all went to the synagogue and party and danced the hora and it was amazing.

I'm sorry that you are going through this but I just can't believe that half your family is THAT religious that they can't come to your wedding. Hang it there! It's their loss, they will miss an amazing wedding.

Princess92406 Posted: Jun 18, 2006 05:32 PM

Re: half of my family wont be attending

thats the thing..they are very religious but VERY hypocritical as well...they keep a kosher home, yet they non kosher food out...i did offer to have kosher meals for them..and whatever else it took to accomodate..i honestly think its about laziness..my mom thinks it has to do with the fact that my two cousins dont even have boyfriends let alone plans of marriage so my aunt is jealous lol...who the heck knows...all i know is i think its alil selfish..if there was a wedding on Good Friday, if i cared about the people, i would go..i know that Jesus would be forgiving of that..do they think theyre gonna get struck by lightning?
eh..sorry to complain

july06bride Posted: Jun 18, 2006 05:48 PM

Re: half of my family wont be attending

I am sorry you are dealing with this,all I can offer are

EJSD2006 Posted: Jun 18, 2006 05:54 PM

Re: half of my family wont be attending

MrsD06 Posted: Jun 18, 2006 06:35 PM

Re: half of my family wont be attending

I'm so sorry
Our wedding fell on Good Friday AND Passover and only ONE person wasn't able to attend for religious reasons. Also, there was another wedding at the WM that night. Not to say I don't understand if people can't make it, but it's annoying that you got the go-ahead and didn't realize you were doing anything inconvenient for anyone. We had the same thing happen where someone was like :do they know it's Good Friday'? Uh, yeah, that's why we checked w/ everyone WAY ahead of time!
Keep reassuring them about how the WM is really good about having kosher food available in case anyone changes their mind or is on the fence..

Shiv Posted: Jun 18, 2006 07:32 PM

Re: half of my family wont be attending

My wedding is on the same weekend and I was told to be careful about that date because of the holiday, but I'm not jewish so it really only applied to a few of my friends.

Are you sure they won't come? I bet some will still make the effort, your wedding is on Sunday, they should totally be able to attend and if they don't come- it's their loss. Try to stay positive, the people who care most about you will be there.

pullmandi Posted: Jun 18, 2006 09:17 PM

Re: half of my family wont be attending

Yeah, maybe your aunt is just exaggerating to your mom and it's only her and a few others. Why not call some people and let them know there is kosher food and see if they might come? Or just send out your invites and wait. I bet some of your younger family members come.

Good luck!

patticakes Posted: Jun 18, 2006 09:29 PM

Re: half of my family wont be attending

Princess92406 Posted: Jun 18, 2006 09:32 PM

Re: half of my family wont be attending

thanks guys for all the replys :(..unfortunately...ALL of them are definately not coming..i mean its not a huge family as it is..but itll be about 8-10 that wont be showing up...i did offer them the kosher food option, but its more about the driving issue and they live in jersey so after sundown when the holiday ends would be too late for them to start driving out here...ahh well..thanks girls ;)

FallBride05 Posted: Jun 19, 2006 10:05 AM

Re: half of my family wont be attending

I'm sorry, It's not a question of kosher food or not. Rosh Hashanna and Yom Kippur are the two most holy Jewish holidays. I myself am NOT religious, but I do observe those two holidays in the manner in which they should be observed. If your wedding is the sunday after Rosh Hashanna then that means it falls on Yom Kippur which is the Jewish day of Atonement in which part of the way it's observed is to Fast for 25 hours.

Princess92406 Posted: Jun 19, 2006 03:55 PM

Re: half of my family wont be attending

actually my wedding is the sunday 'of' the holiday...i thought it fell on friday and saturday..not sunday as well..i do know what the holiday is..i wasnt raised religiously, and ended up converting, but i do understand the rules...yom kippur is the following week...i do kinda have a problem with people who are only religious when its convenient..like i feel like my aunt uncle and cousins have been...like i said they follow the rules to suit them..at that point, i would think coming to their nieces wedding would be maybe alil inconvenient, but something they could figure out..im not tryin to offend aynone on here who may be jewish, my own mother is jewish, i do know however that if my precious cousins were getting married on good friday, that id go..and that jesus would be ok with me going lol ;)