Happy, sad, angry, and ecstatic all at the same time. Am I crazy?

So basically I have less than 3 months to go before I am a married woman. I am having mixed emotions (NOT about my own wedding). I'm trying to get excited and for once focus on me, but I can't seem to. For God's sake I have my first dress fitting is in less than a month (10/19) and I can't seem to get excited about it because of the drama that's happened with my father. I go through the motions like 'oh ok, approve the invitation proof', 'ok, here's my shower guest list', 'ok order the favors' etc. Where's the excitement? I feel like my father's upcoming wedding that I wasn't invited to is stealing that from me. What's got me really worse is that I knew FH was upset about something. We actually got into a fight Friday night while food shopping and he broke down in tears when I asked what was really going on. He told me that I'm this wonderful woman who only wants what is best for everyone else and I put so much thought into everyone around me that he just wanted this time to be about me. Basically I figured it out, my bridal shower is going to be on the exact same day as my dad's wedding. He was angry at himself for letting it get to him and ending up letting it slip out, but my family is invited to my shower and only one of my aunts has responded. No one else has yet. FH feels bad that if my family does show up to my shower, then they will be all be leaving early and he knows that I am now aware of where they will be going and he knows that it will depress me knowing that I am not wanted there.

I can totally understand where FH is coming from and it worries me too about how I'm going to react on that day. So much for the shower being a surprise but hey I was nosy anyway lol and at least the location will be a surprise. I actually saw a flyer for an oldies band with an opening comedy act that will be playing at the Patchogue theater on 10/27 and I was going to get tickets to treat myself and I figured since FH works at Adventureland on the weekends it would me some good 'me' time. When I showed FH the flyer he took it for me and said maybe he'd take off that day and go with me and we'd go to lunch that day first, so I had a sneaking suspicion something else might have been set up for that day. But anyways, I'm hoping that on that day I do not wake up with a nervous stomach or a migraine (that's usually how I react to stress) but I'll just have to roll with the punches like I've been doing. Apparently FH told his aunt on the phone what was going on and she actually began crying for me because she feels bad about what is happening. I can honestly say that these episodes of depression and anger have been the worst I have felt in years and since my insurance doesn't kick in until November lol so I'm SOL. Sorry ladies to be posting these depressing things but it helps to turn to other brides that are dealing with stress and talk with all of you.

On the positive side, at least FH is there to talk to and so is my mom and my mom's bf. That and my beautiful puppy Reese. She takes up alot of my attention especially on days when I am by myself in the apartment and she helps keep my mind off of negative emotions. In fact here's my favorite picture of her

So sorry for everything you are going through. Try and be strong and lean on FH for support and try to remove the drama from your life. I know it may hurt, but even though it's family, some ppl need to removed from your life to avoid the drama and heartache. Hang in there!

You puppy is adorable btw!! I am such an animal lover! I have 3 fur babies of my own... My cats Lucky, Tommy & Jellybean

I am sorry that you are going through all of this. Just remember that the people that want to share in this happy time in your life are the ones you want in your life. Just try and stay positive and make planning the wedding a happy thing because in the end it is really about you and your FH and the happy life you are going to live together. All of the drama and crap that went on will go out the window on the day of your wedding as long the two of you are happy.

You puppy is adorable. They sure do have a way of making us happy even on the worst of days!

Very true about animals

Reese is my rescue pup that I adopted from North Shore back in July at only 8 weeks old. I was watching something online last night that said once puppy mill rescues bond with their adopters, they become like the person's shadow and they remain loyal and loving. That's definitely how I feel about her. Although sometimes she gets under foot and I end up bumping into her or practically tripping over her lol but when she puts her head on me or leans on me and looks up at me with those eyes, it's almost like she's saying 'don't worry, I'm not going anywhere, please don't be sad' lol

This is a sucky situation, to be sure. Please don't take this the wrong way, but have you thought about maybe discussing this with a therapist? Sometimes it can be helpful to talk about stuff like this with an unbiased party. A therapist could give you some ideas for coping mechanisms and stress management. I've seen a therapist in the past it was incredibly beneficial for me to be able to pour my heart out with no judgement.

This is a beautiful time for you and FH and the stress can really create a barrier between you and the happiness you deserve. I hope you feel better :)

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Posted by snarkyspice

This is a sucky situation, to be sure. Please don't take this the wrong way, but have you thought about maybe discussing this with a therapist? Sometimes it can be helpful to talk about stuff like this with an unbiased party. A therapist could give you some ideas for coping mechanisms and stress management. I've seen a therapist in the past it was incredibly beneficial for me to be able to pour my heart out with no judgement.

This is a beautiful time for you and FH and the stress can really create a barrier between you and the happiness you deserve. I hope you feel better :)

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No offense taken. I would actually love to see a therapist. Unfortunately, I just started my current job in July and I am still in the probation period which should be ending soon. My insurance will hopefully begin in November. If this is something that is still bothering me I will definitely be seeing a therapist. I have gone to therapy in the past and I really found it helpful. I was even looking to get into group therapy. I'm hoping I can ride this out until then.

So sorry you are dealing with this. Just try and stay focused on the positive and the wonderful people that you have in your life. (I know it is easier said than done.) Wishing you nothing but happiness on your shower and at your wedding.

Also, your puppy is too cute.

Funny how animals pick up on our emotions. They just know when we're upset or sad and have their own way of making us feel better.

Hang in there. Your wedding day will be beautiful and you and FH will be surrounded by the people who truly care for you.

I'm sorry :( Maybe you would be able to pay a reduced out of pocket rate now and have your health plan reumburse you once your probationary period is over. I know some local colleges with psychology programs provide free or low cost counseling with psychology students who are getting their master's degrees and require experience in the field.

Whatever happens, you have a wonderful fiance who obviously cares very deeply about your feelings and your well being. Lean on him and as hard as it may be, try to get excited! (I say this but my stress has only subsided as of like, yesterday lol.)