Had to completely cut ties w/ one side of the family? How did this affect your relationships w/ FH/DH? We are completely cutting ties with his side of the family and they have been disinvited to our wedding and my shower. I know how much it will hurt that his family won't be there to see him married...even though he tells me it won't...unfortunately they put themselves in this position and they had taken 200 giant leaps over the line.
AlliNMatt06
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What happened?
Wintersbride
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I FM'd you the story
SillyBeans
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no, but I can't stand my father's family (his brothers and sisters) . they will be at the wedding and I'm so worried they are going to act up. I can't tell my dad not to invite them, so I am hoping for the best. about your situation,in 5 years from now do you think they will be a part of your life?
mskittynj
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That really stinks! What happened that was so severe? All you can do is go on with your life and be happy with the people that are happy for you!!! XOXOXO Kitty
Happybride2005
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i'm sorry. can this be resolved
Wintersbride
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This is not a situation that will get better in 5 years or so, unfortunately. His IL's have completely crossed the line...accusing me of something I did not do and threatening me and my family. I am constantly targetted by them one way or another and the only way it will stop is to cut any form of contact w/ them. I noticed that this started soon after I returned to school. FFIL is threatened by educated people...especially women. He once told me that he is smarter then any woman out there. He is one of those people who thinks and says they are so smart but when you hear their 'logic' it is so rediculous you just want to bang your head against the wall. He also hates that I have encouraged FH to get an education and persue his dreams. My family has been very encouraging to my FH too, and maybe that bothers FFIL too. I don't know.
MJDoc12
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oh no!! what happened?!!
i fear that at some point this will happen with FH's family. i think it's a matter of time.
the most important thing is that you are there for each other. i'm assuming your family cares for your FH? my family treats my FH like he's their own--and that helps a lot. his father hates me, and the feelings are mutual. (long story) so he spends almost all the time with me and my family---even during holidays and such. is it hard on him? sometimes. but i stand by him and let him know how much i love him--as does my family.
i'm so sorry this happened to you. i can't imagine what they accused you of that would cause a complete split like this!
Wintersbride
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The wierd thing is that I never had a serious problem w/ my FFIL. I never agreed w/ his views, but in life you come accross people w/ different ideals. You don't always agree, but as long as they don't infringe on your ability to live your life, and they aren't hurting anyone then live and let live. FH does not share his father's view on women...and that's all that mattered to me.
gigles319
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that stinks, so sorry
alioop4282
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I can understand how you are feeling. I disliked one of my exboyfriends family so much that it caused our relationship to end. They disliked me just as much. Everytime I went to their house they were so cold to me..it was awful. We dated for three years and one day I decided I couldn't take it anymore and I broke up with him over it. I guess I didn't love him as much as I thought I did because if it were now, I would've told them to f*uck off and continued with my relationship. I hope it all works out for you. You and your FH can make it work without them in your lives if need be.
Steph62406
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Wow this is what I'm going threw also....we cut ties with his family about 6 months ago and Our relationship has been so much better. FM me if you want to talk!!! I
Steph62406
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Posted by Wintersbride
This is not a situation that will get better in 5 years or so, unfortunately. His IL's have completely crossed the line...accusing me of something I did not do and threatening me and my family. I am constantly targetted by them one way or another and the only way it will stop is to cut any form of contact w/ them. I noticed that this started soon after I returned to school. FFIL is threatened by educated people...especially women. He once told me that he is smarter then any woman out there. He is one of those people who thinks and says they are so smart but when you hear their 'logic' it is so rediculous you just want to bang your head against the wall. He also hates that I have encouraged FH to get an education and persue his dreams. My family has been very encouraging to my FH too, and maybe that bothers FFIL too. I don't know.
OMG this sounds just like my FI's father...WOW!!!!
Wintersbride
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Now I am also left w/ another problem. His siblings were supposed to be in the BP...his sister was supposed to be a BM and his 2 brothers were supposed to be GM. Obviously, this changes things a lot since these siblings are young (teenagers) and live w/ these people. I am not trying to punish anyone, but please understand we don't want any invites to even go to that house and we don't know who to trust anymore. Plus my parents don't want them in their home (I honestly can't blame them). So what do I do?
I don't know why but I feel completely isolated. I have not even eaten today, I am so upset. I hate to complain, I just feel like everything is going to crap.
SeptBride70
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yeah i definitely know how you are feeling and it must be so hard to actually go through with cutting them out of your life! i can't even imagine that-- i'm so sorry
but i know where you are coming from with having a problem with FH's side-- my FH's side for the most part is really great but i cannot physically stand my FMIL's brothers-- they are the worst, they have alcohol and drug problems, they stole money from my FFIL but FMIL refuses to see how bad they are and is so naive... so she still talks to them and they make every get-together they are at just terrible and uncomfortable.
i really hope that you and FH are able to turn to each other during these hard times and do what's best for you, him and your relationship... sometimes people do need to be cut out and it's quite common-- most families have one 'black sheep' or quite a few people that they don't talk to.
good luck and i'm so sorry again
Bigbroad555
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My husband cut ties with his oldest brother and his wife and grown children they are very spitefful people I will not get into what happened all I can say is it is OVER with them never again will they darken our door step....
juliet21
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Hey, the majority of mother's whole family is not invited to my wedding. They pick fights and I do not want to take the chance of them ruining my special day. Do not let this bother you! You have so much to plan, I learned to put things like this in the past. Remember it's not your fault! Heather
Wintersbride
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Posted by juliet21
Hey, the majority of mother's whole family is not invited to my wedding. They pick fights and I do not want to take the chance of them ruining my special day. Do not let this bother you! You have so much to plan, I learned to put things like this in the past. Remember it's not your fault! Heather
I know...it's just more stress then I need right now. And it's hurtful that they just made this accusation based on nothing and I have been telling them over and over that I didn't do it, they just don't want to even hear me. They just made this up in their minds and they are being very stupid.
babybug631
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Honestly you seem to be handling this very well. Cutting off an entire side of the family is a very drastic and difficult decision to make. As long as you and FH are on the same page it shouldn't hurt your relationship. I'm sorry you are going through this.
Wintersbride
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Posted by babybug631
Honestly you seem to be handling this very well. Cutting off an entire side of the family is a very drastic and difficult decision to make. As long as you and FH are on the same page it shouldn't hurt your relationship. I'm sorry you are going through this.
I am really having a hard time with this. I have been crying for the past 24 hours and went home early from work yesterday. I wound up w/ a migraine yesterday that did not go away until this afternoon. This is far from easy and my mind is racing right now. The only thing that is helping me through this is knowing how much FH and I love each other. I am just at a point where I have had more then any human should have to take with these people, and I just can't handle it. I really appreciate everyone's support. It helps to know that I am not alone. I wish I could pinpoint what I have ever done to these people...
